Paying for weddings

[auntiehill]

WOW. Our wedding was only $12/13,000. My parents paid for most of it, as they did for my other two sisters' weddings. Of course, I'm the only one still married...

But we paid for the ceremony musician, reception DJ, the officiate, the tuxes for hubby and his best man and for our honeymoon, but my parents insisted on paying for everything else. They even took over the rehearsal dinner, which usually is something the groom's family pays for. But we kept it smallish.

My sisters, on the other hand, had weddings between 25 and 35 thousand, and we're talking about 10 and 15 years ago. They had several bridesmaids and groomsmen, had limos and fancy reception halls. Not me. I had my best friend as my matron of honor, hubby had his best friend as his best man. We had our ceremony outside and a reception inside (just a few yards away). We drove away in our own car (no limo, thanks). I bought our favors online and got the guest book and candles at Hobby Lobby. I got my dress and shoes from David's Bridal--on sale, no less--and was extremely happy with it. My entire wedding dress--including veil, headpiece and alterations--came to just about $600 bucks. One of my sisters paid two thousand dollars for her dress (15 years ago); that just boggles my mind.

 

[Biffette]

I've got you all beat: 3.5 month engagement, 30k for a 50-person destination wedding (guests+party). 8-hour open bar reception. Includes 4-night block of villas booked for guests at a local resort; 2 wedding dresses (just in case); some of the airfare & bridesmaid dress costs, etc. When my father offered to pay for it I asked him if he had a budget or monetary amount in mind and he replied "Um, no. I'm new to this and I trust your judgment." The reception was originally going to end after six hours but the party was still going strong and he insisted on paying the country club & DJ to keep it going another 2 hours.

 

[RoJoHen]

God. I wish I had that kind of money to throw away for a party.

 

[Biffette]

After purchasing a house for as cheap as you did I'll bet you've got a little mad money.

 

[RoJoHen]

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Still haven't bought the house, and I am more poor right now than I have ever been.

 

[Naira]

That's probably it. Some people have really big weddings here in Italy, especially in the South. I'm talking two hundred guests, restaurant, reception, all that jazz. I don't know the economic side of the deal, but I doubt a young-ish couple could afford that all on their own.

We had 200-250 at ours and that is considered small for an Indian wedding here. Most of the ones I did ranged between 500-600.

400-500 would be an average number here in Greece too.

I think that, since the whole point of a wedding is that the bride and the groom are now a couple, they should decide together what they want and can afford.

Many parents want to pay and that is acceptable, but things should be somewhat balanced between the two families so that noone gets to complain in the future.

 

[Yoda]

Seems silly to me to spend $20k on a wedding when an upcoming divorce is a 50/50 proposition.

Has anyone ever tried to correlate wedding costs with divorce rates? Now I'm curious.

 

[JoeZhang]

Seems silly to me to spend $20k on a wedding when an upcoming divorce is a 50/50 proposition.

Has anyone ever tried to correlate wedding costs with divorce rates? Now I'm curious.

A friend of mine is a solicitor and she says it's not uncommon for couples to be getting divorced and still be paying off the wedding.

 

[iguana_tonante]

Most of the ones I did ranged between 500-600.

400-500 would be an average number here in Greece too.

That's not a wedding, it's a riot.

 

[SmoothieX]

Most of the ones I did ranged between 500-600.

400-500 would be an average number here in Greece too.

That's not a wedding, it's a riot.

Seriously! I don't know half that many people. Did you grab some random folks off the street and hire them as extras?

 

[iguana_tonante]

I'm quite a sociable person, but I would be hard pressed to find, say, 50 people to invite to my wedding, including friends and family.

I know a lot more, but I wouldn't want random acquaintances, discontinued colleagues, and not-seen-in-years playground mates at my wedding. And anything beyond first cousins doesn't really count as "family".

Oh my god, I'm an old grump.

 

[Ashu]

If you want an expensive wedding, it should be your responsibility to fund it. If you have people who want to volunteer their money to your cause, more power to you, but you should not expect anyone to do it.

Agreed. I hate asking my parents for 20 bucks let alone the cost of some of these weddings.

 

[propita]

I and co-workers who went to a wedding forAsian-Americans. They said the parents basically invited everyone they knew, everyone they owed an invitation to. 750 people!!! (I don't think I know that many people. I certainly don't like that many people.). And everyone over 50 left right after eating. Having been to a few Asian-Americans weddings myself, that last part seems typical. Is it just the ones I've been to or is that customary?

 

[Naira]

400-500 would be an average number here in Greece too.

That's not a wedding, it's a riot.

Seriously! I don't know half that many people. Did you grab some random folks off the street and hire them as extras?

It is common to invite family up to second cousins (along with their spouses and children). Some people invite more distant relatives. Those can be a lot. Then there are the couple's friends, the parents' friends, co-workers, some people invited by the best man... They sum up pretty fast.

Most of the guests are (extended) family though.

 

[SmoothieX]

^My family consists of my mom, an uncle, and my mother-in-law father-in-law and sister-in-law. My dad is recently deceased, sadly, and was at the top of that list.

I'm sure there are probably others out there that share a few common chromosomes, but those are the ones I know and am in touch with.

 

[Maestro]

Seems silly to me to spend $20k on a wedding when an upcoming divorce is a 50/50 proposition.

Has anyone ever tried to correlate wedding costs with divorce rates? Now I'm curious.

Well, we've made it 10, going on 11 years, and the socialites in my wife's side of the family considered it one of the finest, classiest, and most beautiful weddings they ever attended.

 

[Squiggy]

Our wedding is probably going to cost 7-10,000. We're paying for half and her parents are paying for the other half as their wedding present.

 

[Maestro]

My in-laws are from a very different socio-economic class than most of us here, as well as the class my family belongs to.

My parents paid for the bar bill at the reception. My father-in-law gave us our fine china.

The drinkers at the wedding had a damn fine time. The china has been on display in our hutch for a decade. We dust it occasionally.

 

[RoJoHen]

The drinkers at the wedding had a damn fine time. The china has been on display in our hutch for a decade. We dust it occasionally.

My parents' fine china from their wedding has been on display in the china cabinet for about 30 years.

What is the point of fine china? Does anybody actually use it for eating?

 

[Balrog]

Seems fair - the bride and her family pay for the wedding, which she gets back and then some in the divorce!