Paying for weddings

[Kestra]

I had a big expensive wedding and I loved it.

I've seen your pictures, and they look amazing, but you didn't answer the question the OP asked.

Personally, i like a nice, cheap, quick wedding ceremony, preferably on the beach or something. And whenever it's legal for me to get married in my state (), i would like to be able to pay for the wedding myself.

That was my second post in the thread. My first was this:

I think things should be paid for by whoever wants it and can afford it.

 

[Chaos Descending]

My wedding cost $350. $50 for the license, $50 for the judge, and $250 for the dinner for myself, my wife, my wife's parents, our "best man" and our "maid of honor", so to speak.

We couldn't have been happier.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

IMHO, whichever family can more easily afford the wedding should pay for it.

Or, better yet, both should chip in.

 

[mari]

My parents took out a $10k loan to pay for my sister's wedding (plus some out of pocket expenses). Other sister and I have declared our intentions to go as cheap as possible, but then again we're both less romantic/dramatic/expensive than our sister. We also went to less expensive colleges.

If you've already been out on your own and paying your own expenses (and shacking up) then I think you ought to pay for your own wedding. Go into debt if that's what you really want, but really, people should focus more on the relationship that's going to last a lifetime (hopefully) and not the event that makes it legally recognized. Don't delay your parents' retirement just because you want a sparkly dress and a big party.

 

[Kirby]

My wife's parents gave us $1000 for our wedding, and my mother in law made my wife's dress. It looked absolutely amazing. Our wedding was small, we had a BBQ for the receiption, and we walked away without any debt.

 

[Avalon]

My stepmother's very first words when I told her I was engaged were, "So, how much is this going to cost your father and I?"

I told her it wasn't going to cost her anything, if that was how she felt about it. We'd pay for it ourselves. (And we did -- the whole thing was about $1,000.) Unfortunately, the marriage didn't last, but her nasty attitude still stings a bit.

As for my own kids -- I have a lot of debt (fallout from the divorce) to take care of, and that's going to take a while. But I would really like to be able to contribute to my daughter's wedding someday, and I'm hoping that I'm in a position to do so whenever that happens. I'd consider it an honor. (My son's plans don't seem to include even dating at this point, so I think I have a little more time there...)

 

[CorporalClegg]

Just another reason never to get married!

Or elope.

No fuss, no muss.

 

[iguana_tonante]

Maybe it's a cultural thing, but my parents would have been offended if they couldn't pay for my wedding. They saved up for it starting when I was young. I actually wanted something smaller and they're the ones who wanted the big wedding.

That's probably it. Some people have really big weddings here in Italy, especially in the South. I'm talking two hundred guests, restaurant, reception, all that jazz. I don't know the economic side of the deal, but I doubt a young-ish couple could afford that all on their own.

If I ever get married, it would be small and quiet. Close family, some friends, full stop. Eloping sounds silly to me: we are adults, if we don't want to invite people, we won't invite people. Running away to marry in a undisclosed location seems pretty incongruous.

 

[JoeZhang]

The other big issue that crops up at some weddings is Kids or no Kids? That can set off all sorts of fireworks.

 

[iguana_tonante]

The other big issue that crops up at some weddings is Kids or no Kids? That can set off all sorts of fireworks.

Well, one would think that one should crop up some time before the big day...

 

[JoeZhang]

The other big issue that crops up at some weddings is Kids or no Kids? That can set off all sorts of fireworks.

Well, one would think that one should crop up some time before the big day...

Hah - no I mean allowing children at the wedding, in the UK more and more people are opting for weddings where they are not permitted.

 

[RoJoHen]

Maybe it's a cultural thing, but my parents would have been offended if they couldn't pay for my wedding. They saved up for it starting when I was young. I actually wanted something smaller and they're the ones who wanted the big wedding.

That's probably it. Some people have really big weddings here in Italy, especially in the South. I'm talking two hundred guests, restaurant, reception, all that jazz. I don't know the economic side of the deal, but I doubt a young-ish couple could afford that all on their own.

I know lots of young-ish people who have big weddings like that. They put it on a credit card.

Actually, a new trend is to get a credit card with reward points, put for your wedding with it, and then use your points to earn a trip somewhere for your honeymoon.

 

[SmoothieX]

My in laws, parents, and wife and I all splt the costs of the wedding, though not evenly. It seemed to work well. Neither set of parents was going to break the bank for us, since we all thought it's a little silly to drop $30k on 4 hours of entertainment.

 

[iguana_tonante]

Hah - no I mean allowing children at the wedding, in the UK more and more people are opting for weddings where they are not permitted.

Ah, ok. Never heard of that. Sounds weird to me, weddings are family/friends event, not state ceremonies. Having a few kids around might be annoying if they are too hyper-active, but that's hardly unbearable. You know the old saying: it's not a real wedding unless someone cry, someone fight, and someone fuck.

I know lots of young-ish people who have big weddings like that. They put it on a credit card.

Actually, a new trend is to get a credit card with reward points, put for your wedding with it, and then use your points to earn a trip somewhere for your honeymoon.

And people wonder why Americans are broke.

 

[SmoothieX]

^I went to a wedding a few weeks back where the groom's 4 or 5 year old son threw a fit right in the middle of the ceremony.

It all depends on the mood you are going for.

 

[Admiral Buzzkill]

As a guy currently footing the bill for a wedding I've learned that nothing is as important as those three little words:

Cost per person.

 

[RoJoHen]

And people wonder why Americans are broke.

Nah, I'm pretty sure we know why we're broke.

 

[milo bloom]

I sorta regret our wedding. Nobody had a lot of money at the time, so it was kinda half-asssed. We put a lot on credit cards, folks helped with some of it. And since we were living in a dry county, and my dad's side of the family is very religious, there was absolutely no alcohol.

We should have either eloped, or just had the damn Star Trek themed wedding that we really wanted. Now I won't recommend blowing a bunch of cash on your wedding, even if you do have it, but I would definitely recommend having fun and doing a theme if you really want it.

 

[Kestra]

Maybe it's a cultural thing, but my parents would have been offended if they couldn't pay for my wedding. They saved up for it starting when I was young. I actually wanted something smaller and they're the ones who wanted the big wedding.

That's probably it. Some people have really big weddings here in Italy, especially in the South. I'm talking two hundred guests, restaurant, reception, all that jazz. I don't know the economic side of the deal, but I doubt a young-ish couple could afford that all on their own.

We had 200-250 at ours and that is considered small for an Indian wedding here. Most of the ones I did ranged between 500-600.

 

[Maestro]

My wedding cost $20,000+, and my in-laws believe they got their money's worth.