This is very true and I've often enough thought and said the very same thing myself.
No fun getting old....
- Thread starter Warped9
- Start date
My mom just complained about diminishing taste last night.
She's 74 and has only slowed down starting about two years ago. It's odd and a bit heartbreaking to watch and to realize that that is my fate 20 years or so from now.
I'm also very aware that the clock is ticking. All my grandparents are gone, the few great-grandparents who were alive during my lifetime are gone, and I've lost aunts and uncles and cousins. I can see how it must be harder when one ages to see people go one by one.
These are happy years for me (middle-age) for the most part, but I'm not afraid to say that old age kinda scares me. But I guess like anything else, when I hit it (if I hit it) I'll adapt. Plus - I have wonderful children.
If you have your parents, enjoy them. As I said, I know the clock is ticking. I may get another 10 years or so with Mom, or time may be short indeed. I'm profoundly grateful that she's only a mile away, where we can come if she needs us and close enough that I can spend time with her. I lived far away from her from age 21 until around 4 years ago, and I missed her. I don't have a relationship with my father (his choice. I've never met his second wife, but she didn't want any of his children in his life and he let her rule the roost in that regard.)
I'm so grateful my parents are still around. My mom lost her mother before my brother was born (which was devastating for her) and my dad's parents both passed away when I was in elementary or junior high.
I see my parents changing and it's strange, because they used to seem totally invincible. My dad was in the hospital last year and that was difficult for all of us. They're both in decent health and working full-time though. My uncle had a health scare this year as well, and I was sitting around with a friend ruminating on how we'd been lucky that we are all in good health as are our parents. Within a week she found out that her dad has terminal cancer.
I know everyone won't always be around so I try to be grateful for the moments we have now.
Also re: getting old, it can be fun! You can wear silly hats, ugly clothes, and say totally impolite things and people just write you off as a ridiculous old person.
I see my parents changing and it's strange, because they used to seem totally invincible. My dad was in the hospital last year and that was difficult for all of us. They're both in decent health and working full-time though. My uncle had a health scare this year as well, and I was sitting around with a friend ruminating on how we'd been lucky that we are all in good health as are our parents. Within a week she found out that her dad has terminal cancer.
I know everyone won't always be around so I try to be grateful for the moments we have now.
Also re: getting old, it can be fun! You can wear silly hats, ugly clothes, and say totally impolite things and people just write you off as a ridiculous old person.
I never really knew any of my grandparents. At least not on a regular basis.
My Dad's real mother died in childbirth when he was 8. My Grandfather remarried some years later and so the woman who was really my step-grandmother I always thought was my real grandmother until I learned the truth in my teenage years. She was always very nice to us like we were her own grandchildren. She can be seen in the picture upthread of my Dad and grandfather arm-wrestling. She's to the right in the pic holding my younger sister.
My Dad's father (seen in the picture upthread) died when I was sixteen, but I never really knew him that well because I saw him only once or twice a year and never more than a few days to a week at the very most at a time.
My Mom's dad died the year I was born. Apparently he held me when I was an infant, but of course I don't remember him at all. My Mom's mother died when I was 7 and I remember a kind and gentle woman who served great food, but I remember little else.
My Dad's real mother died in childbirth when he was 8. My Grandfather remarried some years later and so the woman who was really my step-grandmother I always thought was my real grandmother until I learned the truth in my teenage years. She was always very nice to us like we were her own grandchildren. She can be seen in the picture upthread of my Dad and grandfather arm-wrestling. She's to the right in the pic holding my younger sister.
My Dad's father (seen in the picture upthread) died when I was sixteen, but I never really knew him that well because I saw him only once or twice a year and never more than a few days to a week at the very most at a time.
My Mom's dad died the year I was born. Apparently he held me when I was an infant, but of course I don't remember him at all. My Mom's mother died when I was 7 and I remember a kind and gentle woman who served great food, but I remember little else.
I'm the same way. We didn't have any extended family here growing up so the only times I saw my grandparents were on trips to India. Throw in a language and cultural barrier and I didn't have close relationships with them. I feel much closer to the woman who raised us here (an American) than I do to my own grandfather. I think of her as my grandmother, really.
Yep. My grandparents knew little to no English and I was raised and lived in Ontario with my understanding and speaking of French at a young age being sketchy at best. That really complicated communication on a personal level for the most part. I think I knew my grandparents more through my parents' recollections and stories.
My maternal grandparents have been my parents more than my mother and the bastard she was with (call him S for now). Age 5 through 6th grade, S was abusive to me asnd Mom, most of this I have blacked from my memory for good reason. 7th grade on, my grandparents had the tough task of rebuilding me.
I relate to my grandparents, now just my grandpa better than I do my Mom, since she's less mature than me and a lifetime welfare case and grandpa is a retired working man. I've got one aunt that's still around that's worth anything out of the set that includes my mom, my late uncle, and the evil uncle.
EDIT 4 hrs later:
to finish the thought of this post, it sounds like it's going to be hell on me in 15 years, near the time I fear grandpa will be gone from this earth. He's 71, and his father died at age 85.
I relate to my grandparents, now just my grandpa better than I do my Mom, since she's less mature than me and a lifetime welfare case and grandpa is a retired working man. I've got one aunt that's still around that's worth anything out of the set that includes my mom, my late uncle, and the evil uncle.
EDIT 4 hrs later:
to finish the thought of this post, it sounds like it's going to be hell on me in 15 years, near the time I fear grandpa will be gone from this earth. He's 71, and his father died at age 85.
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I'm very sure it does.
It amazes me to hear people close to my age talk about living grandparents. My husband and I are in our late 40s and haven't had grandparents for many years ... his last remaining grandmother died about 15 years ago, and my grandparents all died by the time I was in junior high.
I don't have any parents anymore, either ... My mom died ten years ago at 79, and my dad died earlier this year at 87 (they were both 40 when I was born).
I hope my kids have plenty of kids to enjoy me while I'm still around! I feel kind of lonely without elders.
I don't have any parents anymore, either ... My mom died ten years ago at 79, and my dad died earlier this year at 87 (they were both 40 when I was born).
I hope my kids have plenty of kids to enjoy me while I'm still around! I feel kind of lonely without elders.
My father's father passed when he was 55. My dad died when he was 52. I turned 50 this year.
Trust me, it weighs on him.
I'm 42 and all my grandparents were born in the 19th century. A lot of people don't believe me when I say this, but my parents were both born in 1926 and I was born in 1968, so it's due to later-life babies. I only knew my maternal grandmother (1899-1990) very well, even though we lived on different continents for most of that time. I have vague memories of my paternal grandmother (1893-1973) and my maternal grandfather (1894-1974). My paternal grandfather (born 1892) died of dysentry in a German work camp in May 1944, just a few weeks before the American liberated the camp. My father was 17 and nearly lost his brother, too.
All my life I have had friends whose grandparents were the same age, and sometimes younger, than my parents. My dad is doing reasonably well at 84 and my mother died of cancer at 73. A good age by some standards, but she still had a lot of life left in her so her death was still too early. I was pregnant with my youngest child when she died, and it always saddens me that she never got to see him.
All my life I have had friends whose grandparents were the same age, and sometimes younger, than my parents. My dad is doing reasonably well at 84 and my mother died of cancer at 73. A good age by some standards, but she still had a lot of life left in her so her death was still too early. I was pregnant with my youngest child when she died, and it always saddens me that she never got to see him.
I'm sorry to hear that.
My mom was pregnant with my brother (the oldest of my siblings) when her mom passed away suddenly, halfway around the world, and I know it was a really difficult time for her. It might sound kind of silly, but it's one of the reasons that if I do have children, I'd like to not put it off too long. I want my parents and my in-laws to be around for that. Plus the remaining grandparents we have.I want my parents to be around to be grandparents, I guess.
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