Dear Lovie Smith,
Get fired yesterday, you despicably useless cocksucker. Two timeouts to challenge a call you were obviously going to lose, late in the 4th, only down by a touchdown? A completely malaise team going through motions they're not even sure whether or not they're supposed to be going through? Relying on that worthless short-yardage screen on 3rd and 21? (Seriously, you should have fired Ron Turner on the spot for that. What the fuck?) Receivers giving no fuck about their routes? A defense being coached by its permanently injured middle linebacker, while you just stood emotionless on the sideline contemplating whether or not you needed a sandwich at the moment?
FUCK YOU.
Countless penalties and dipshitted plays by boneheaded players who have obviously not stepped near anything resembling a coach in the last six weeks of this season. Missed assignments (where the fuck was Josh Bullocks going when he left the entire left side of the field open for Grant to jog through?), confused route-running, Omiyale still starting (SERIOUSLY, FUCK THAT). Aromashodu fucking tearing up a team after he finally gets some playing time, because the star return man that you molded into a #4 quality receiver got injured, and then completely disappearing after a Rashied Davis sighting (and Rashied Davis should never touch a football, ever). A defensive scheme that involves leaving 10 yards of the field completely open nearly every down.
You have completely lost the plot, you douchebag.
And this is just today, you squinting retard. You've lost your team. They don't believe in you. And to your credit, you don't give a flying fuck. You're going to do the same goddamn shit week in and week out and continue pacing up and down the sideline with that Down syndrome look on your face and have no passion for anything whatsoever. You're probably going to stick Orlando Pace back in the starting lineup next week, because it would be the most hilariously awful change you could make to the offensive line and you simply don't give a shit.
I can be reasonable. Jerry Angelo has completely fucked you, I understand that, and he needs to be fired into the sun. But that doesn't make you any less of a blithering moron. Fuck you, Lovie Smith. Fuck you until you're fucking dead.
Get fired tomorrow (and put a bullet in Turner's head),
Tim
