I've filed papers to have the writer's name legally changed to Pathetic Stereotypical Twerp.
Joe, judge
New STAR TREK Review
- Thread starter Fish1941
- Start date
I've filed papers to have the writer's name legally changed to Pathetic Stereotypical Twerp.
Joe, judge
That review -- I hesitate to call it that -- is most probably meant to be humorous. However, I can't seem to find it funny; only childish. My loss.
frankly the review reads like a parody of someone
trying to do a negative review of the movie.
i mean the ship all of a sudden is named after
a person before they do the heroic deed that would make
them worthy of naming a ship after them.
almost sounds like they are spoofing those who have trouble
following the time travel aspects of the story.
i mean come on any serious reviewer would probably not
mistake ship for character that served on ship.
and, anyone with an imagination could easily see
that a futuristic mining vessel meant probably to mine
asteroids and other planetoids ect is going to have some
fancy hardware that with a little thought could be turned
into some nasty weaponry.
they are also parodying those who show a lack of tos
knowledge and how things worked within the federation.
for one thing, some tos era shuttles indeed did have warp drive.
menagerie and metamorphosis both have them.
Besides, while other ships couldnt get there in time
to help in the fight against the narada they proably could get
there in time to rescue the crew.
i just love how this review is so blind to how ironic it is that
they complain about plot holes and lack of logic and fail to
see how some things would have made sense if only they
had been awake and paying attention.
because,among many things the the reviewer seemed to
grossly miss is the reason the shuttles escaped
from the kelvin was that kirk senior was actively fighting
the narada and also shooting down what ever the narada
was firing at the fleeing shuttles.
not all of them escaped by the way.
we see at least one shuttle destroyed.
when kirk sr runs out of weapons he then sets
the kelvin on a intercept course.
we see the resulting explosion damages the narada.
well, the narada not only had a 25 years to be repaired
but as a mining ship they could extract their own ore
and being from the future would have access to replicators.
more indication the reviewer is either poking fun at
certain reviews or took a nap during significant parts of the movie.
while i could have done without the young kirk scene
(though i did like the beastie boys tribute.. )
he was not suicidal.
he knew exactly when to jump out of that car.
but it wouldn't have hurt to get some reference to the
abuse that led up to his wanting to destroy.
hm the next thing he got wrong is that pike didn't recognise kirk.
a bartender told pike who kirk was.
evidently the reviewer was even asleep during
some of the trailers and tv ads.
we also find out that pike had run a background on kirk.
so while he found out he was troubled he also found out
about his credentials like well being a genus.
oh yeah and it seems the previous part was just a little teaser
as far as how badly this review was lurching off the tracks.
starfleet generals... did they even watch star trek ??
ever?? yes i mean tos??
generals??
lets see just how much else is a comedy of errors.:
lets see the cadets were just supplemental.
add in that enterprise was probably still in the midst of chosing
some of her crew so they might have gotten more cadets
next.. hmm so much wrong.
bones didn't give kirk a disease he gave him a vaccine.
so no disease so no worry about being contagious .
they must have had a long bathroom break ..perhaps didnt finish
and had to go back since the info that kirk was given a
vaccine and was having a reaction to it
was repeated several times.
or maybe they were cat napping off and on
during the film. perhaps they were going out out for popcorn
and other snacks to miss that much of the movie.
sulu and the parkng break.
by the way,sulu later on more then makes up for the inertial
dampeners mistake later on with that nice bit
of fancy flying at the end especially jumping
in between saturn and titan.
on kirk being the only one right away to put the pieces together:
pike wrote the dissertation what 20 years ago..
guess what i suspect a lot of people who wrote a dissertation
20 something years ago wouldnt remember what was probably
a minor detail in the midst of what appears
to be an unrelated crisis.
oh yeah another hint that who ever wrote this isn't
totally familiar with tos..
spock isn't a walking encyclopedia.
while spock knows many things all through tos other people
explain certain things to him
now things get real amusing .. within about a paragraph they
seem to forget and then
remember communication was blocked around vulcan space.
oh yeah even if the ships came in on the far side of vulcan
they would have come around to the site of the disturbance.
back to the lighting storm in space.
the lighting storm in space was part of
the report of recent events.
it didnt say it was near vulcan.
ghod i have to skip ahead a little..
so bad.. so wrong...
lets see must have gone out and gotten a coke since
they missed olson was the chief engineer
not part of security.
why didnt enterprise fire at the drill:
and other pressing drill matters.
oh yeah if they ship had even tried to fire a beam at the
drill (considering if they were in position to.
.which probably they were not since it took
the shuttle awhile to get to the drop zone.
if enterprise didn't take it out with the first shot
the ship would have been blown
out of the sky....
this has to be parody they cant
do a logical thought sequence)
sulu and kirk don't destroy the platform but they do disable it
which brings communications and the transporter back on line.
unfortunately they were to late and the nasty
red matter is deployed.
pike and the codes play into nero's passion gone wild.
considering nero wants to destroy not just earth but
every federation planet.
nero expects he will face greater opposition then he did at vulcan.
eventually, the code would have been changed but
he was hoping to ntake advantage of the
chaos he caused to destroy as many planets as quickly
as possible.
it makes sense if there is a code for the defense grid.
just like there is an access code for starships.
or maybe the reviewer had stepped out of wrath of khan
during that part.
well they missed that the vulcan elders were in the katric ark
and were recovering the katra's of great vulcans who passed on.
i dont know maybe by now there were mixing something
with their coke and getting tipsy.
one of the vulcans doing fist pumps..
missing one of the transporter pads were empty..
and even if there wasn't and you couldn't beam two
people up together,,well you could beam up a large party
and then suspend part of them while
materializing some and then finish beaming the rest.
yeah the review has to be a parody of the fen who nit pick
the movie but complain about stuff that either isnt canon
or is contradicted within canon itself.
by now they must be really deep into their drink.
they totally lost track of what nero is planning,
that nero knows some federation history.
so why not go first after the homeplanet of starfleet and the
federation. plus the added extra bonus as
home planet of spock's other ancestors.
they must have been having a great party with themselves
by now
to have gotten so confused.oh yeah,,
beyond what he said prime spock knew well how kirk could
think out of the box.
and how this ability worked to save them time out of time.
he knew the best chance to stop nero was to get
kirk back to the ship .
sorry i cant take any more..
it is just an amazing review. and not in a good way.
I'm afraid I would have to say the same about those who are so pissed off by the review that they can't see that he managed to point out some pretty credible flaws that appeared in the film.
not when the review itself just has a massive amount of errors.
as i and others noted it either has to be a parody or one of the worst reviews
i have ever seen.
it even brings forth the notion they might not have seen the film
only heard it descrbied by someone.
missing just basic stuff that was mentioned as part of the dialog.
that isnt the fault of the movie when that happens.
as i and others noted it either has to be a parody or one of the worst reviews
i have ever seen.
it even brings forth the notion they might not have seen the film
only heard it descrbied by someone.
missing just basic stuff that was mentioned as part of the dialog.
that isnt the fault of the movie when that happens.
QFT
Either that, or denial is a very powerful coping mechanism the writer is using to avoid having to admit that he did like the movie...even if only a little bit.
I'm not going to bother reading the review after all the comments, but will address this to Fish: we know the film is flawed, and hope for better next time around, we don't need someone hammering the point again and again.
btw, you aren't 3DMaster in disguise, are you?
btw, you aren't 3DMaster in disguise, are you?
It reads like a poor imitation of a Keckler review.
There's nothing credible about that review; it shoots itself in the foot far too many times. It's much too long for what little it has to say and the writing is atrocious.
Newsflash: Every Trek film has these kind of nitpicky flaws.
(emphasis mine)
Missed this the first time, as it was posted simultaneously with my post above, but that last bit was out of line. Personal stuff might be okay for TNZ, but even in there I don't think dual accusations are cool. Just don't do it.
Sorry, but "you're another" won't cut it. Don't even try.
This "writer" didn't bring up a thing that hasn't been rehashed here and elsewhere many times in the last month. Add to that the fact that he/she is semi-literate at best and you have a worthless, late "review."
Not at all.
Movies of this kind collapse events to those that are crucial to the story. The audience has no idea what transpires politically or legally between Nero's death and the scene where Kirk is rightly rewarded for having saved the Earth, and this is because it's not germane to the story and of zero interest to 99% of the audience.
No doubt fans can invent plausible explanations for this stuff - let 'em. It's not the job of the filmmakers to do it. Not at this level of detail, not in this genre of movie.
"This movie did not correspond 1-to-1 with the way I think events play out in reality nor did it answer every tiny question and objection that I can think of or invent at my leisure" is not criticism; it's symptomatic of a diagnosable condition that's often treatable with medication.
Yes we're doing a fine job ignoring this....what are we up to post #35 now?
If I may have everybody's attention I'd like to sing you all a litty ditty...ehhh very little and don't worry I have a beautiful singing voice...like a friggin boird.
To the tune of these boots are made for walking:
This board was made for rehashing....and that's just what we'll do...
This board was made for rehashing and I'm gonna rehash all over you.
So I'm going to rehash what you just rehashed right now by again stating your dislike for the review again.....you said that already....so technically this is a rehashed post.
I know that this wasn't in the actual movie but one of the deleted scenes showed Nero escaping a Klingon prison. Now, if he managed to do that, what could he do in a 'normal' Federation prison?
Also, let's not forget that Kirk DID try to save Nero AND his crew. Nero refused and Kirk did what he AND Spock (along with 99.9% of the Enterprise's crew) felt was the only thing left to do.
Granted, it would probably have been easier to let the Narada be drawn in by the black hole but it was too risky. Also, let's be honest here: If I were Kirk and I had locked on the ship responsible for the death of my father, the mother of my first officer, countless starfleet personnel, 6 billion + Vulcans as well as goodess knows how many Klingons, I would blow it to smithereens too. And, like Spock, I wouldn't even offer to help its crew either. That says a lot about how grand Kirk is.
Also, let's not forget that Kirk DID try to save Nero AND his crew. Nero refused and Kirk did what he AND Spock (along with 99.9% of the Enterprise's crew) felt was the only thing left to do.
Granted, it would probably have been easier to let the Narada be drawn in by the black hole but it was too risky. Also, let's be honest here: If I were Kirk and I had locked on the ship responsible for the death of my father, the mother of my first officer, countless starfleet personnel, 6 billion + Vulcans as well as goodess knows how many Klingons, I would blow it to smithereens too. And, like Spock, I wouldn't even offer to help its crew either. That says a lot about how grand Kirk is.
I'm really quite surprised by all of the "but he makes a good point" statements. I got past "roten" to "USS George Kirk" and stopped reading. Criticism is as valid as your respect for the critic.
Just to make everyone happy, I'm not going to read the review, and I'm still going to call it worthless. Yeah!
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