Need a few jokes for a 15 year old

[Brent]

My sis is turning 15, want to tell her a few jokes geared toward a 15 year old, I've googled, haven't really found anything, anyone got any good jokes for a teen?

 

[Mick of Time]

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

 

[John Picard]

Ask her, "Have you heard about the man with two butts? No one, but two." See how long it takes her to get that one.

You could also drive her batshit crazy by saying, "How long is a Chinaman's name." My dad had me going on that one for weeks.

The following are also good:

Do you know why you don't put toast in a toaster? Because it comes out that way.
It's not a hot water heater because you cannot heat hot water.

I had a bunch more, but I can't remember them.

 

[Jayson]

Well you can always make a joke about how she is reaching the age when she will soon have to wear the family chasity belt though that would work better when she gets a boyfriend, especially if it's her first boyfriend.

Jason

 

[LaxScrutiny]

Well you can always make a joke about how she is reaching the age when she will soon have to wear the family chasity belt though that would work better when she gets a boyfriend, especially if it's her first boyfriend.

Jason

You mean that was supposed to be a joke? <Hunting for the keys...>

 

[Jayson]

Well you can always make a joke about how she is reaching the age when she will soon have to wear the family chasity belt though that would work better when she gets a boyfriend, especially if it's her first boyfriend.

Jason

You mean that was supposed to be a joke? <Hunting for the keys...>

Not a joke so much as trying to be funny. I don't know jokes. I assume she is at the age when she is starting to be intrested in boys. If she is like anu other 15 year old she is proably thinking about sex as well. I supose it depends on how comfortable though you are around your sister to make that kind of joke.

Jason

 

[sidious618]

Ask her, "Have you heard about the man with two butts? No one, but two." See how long it takes her to get that one.

You could also drive her batshit crazy by saying, "How long is a Chinaman's name." My dad had me going on that one for weeks.

The following are also good:

Do you know why you don't put toast in a toaster? Because it comes out that way.
It's not a hot water heater because you cannot heat hot water.

I had a bunch more, but I can't remember them.

She's turning 15, not 5.

 

[Zulu Romeo]

You could also drive her batshit crazy by saying, "How long is a Chinaman's name." My dad had me going on that one for weeks.

OK then, so tell me - how long is a Chinaman's name meant to be, anyway?

 

[LaxScrutiny]

Well you can always make a joke about how she is reaching the age when she will soon have to wear the family chasity belt though that would work better when she gets a boyfriend, especially if it's her first boyfriend.

Jason

You mean that was supposed to be a joke? <Hunting for the keys...>

Not a joke so much as trying to be funny. I don't know jokes. I assume she is at the age when she is starting to be intrested in boys. If she is like anu other 15 year old she is proably thinking about sex as well. I supose it depends on how comfortable though you are around your sister to make that kind of joke.

Jason

<Whooosh>

ie: I took it seriously, locked up my 15 year old in a chastity belt, and am now hunting for the keys, realizing my mistake.

 

[sidious618]

OK then, so tell me - how long is a Chinaman's name meant to be, anyway?

Houlong is the person's name but sounds like you're saying "How long?" It's funny when the person who says it is 80 because they don't realize it's rather racist. Not so funny when you're 20.

 

[Zulu Romeo]

To be honest, most of the jokes I learned when I was 15 were the sort of X-rated "funny" stuff that wouldn't be printable on a family BBS such as this one.

I regret nothing about my upbringing.

OK then, so tell me - how long is a Chinaman's name meant to be, anyway?

Houlong is the person's name but sounds like you're saying "How long?" It's funny when the person who says it is 80 because they don't realize it's rather racist. Not so funny when you're 20.

I see - that sort of alleged "funnay" then. Thanks.

 

[Jayson]

You mean that was supposed to be a joke? <Hunting for the keys...>

Not a joke so much as trying to be funny. I don't know jokes. I assume she is at the age when she is starting to be intrested in boys. If she is like anu other 15 year old she is proably thinking about sex as well. I supose it depends on how comfortable though you are around your sister to make that kind of joke.

Jason

<Whooosh>

ie: I took it seriously, locked up my 15 year old in a chastity belt, and am now hunting for the keys, realizing my mistake.

So your saying you owned a chastity belt! There must be a intresting story behind that.

Jason

 

[sidious618]

To be honest, most of the jokes I learned when I was 15 were the sort of X-rated "funny" stuff that wouldn't be printable on a family BBS such as this one.

A family board? Have you seen the masturbation thread?!

 

[Hoser]

Houlong is the person's name

Ah-HA. so the answer is 7.

 

[John Picard]

Ask her, "Have you heard about the man with two butts? No one, but two." See how long it takes her to get that one.

You could also drive her batshit crazy by saying, "How long is a Chinaman's name." My dad had me going on that one for weeks.

The following are also good:

Do you know why you don't put toast in a toaster? Because it comes out that way.
It's not a hot water heater because you cannot heat hot water.

I had a bunch more, but I can't remember them.

She's turning 15, not 5.

yeah, whatever Lighten up.

 

[sidious618]

Wow, Picard deleted yet another flaming post. When does that stop?

 

[LaxScrutiny]

Not a joke so much as trying to be funny. I don't know jokes. I assume she is at the age when she is starting to be intrested in boys. If she is like anu other 15 year old she is proably thinking about sex as well. I supose it depends on how comfortable though you are around your sister to make that kind of joke.

Jason

<Whooosh>

ie: I took it seriously, locked up my 15 year old in a chastity belt, and am now hunting for the keys, realizing my mistake.

So your saying you owned a chastity belt! There must be a intresting story behind that.

Jason

Now I'm pounding my head on my desk.

 

[Jayson]

<Whooosh>

ie: I took it seriously, locked up my 15 year old in a chastity belt, and am now hunting for the keys, realizing my mistake.

So your saying you owned a chastity belt! There must be a intresting story behind that.

Jason

Now I'm pounding my head on my desk.

That might work as a joke for a 15-year old. Physical humor is usually funny. When/if she says something dumb just do what LaxScrutiny is doing.

Jason

 

[LaxScrutiny]

So your saying you owned a chastity belt! There must be a intresting story behind that.

Jason

Now I'm pounding my head on my desk.

That might work as a joke for a 15-year old. Physical humor is usually funny. When/if she says something dumb just do what LaxScrutiny is doing.

Jason

Everyone should always emulate LaxScrutiny, whether there is a 15 year old present or not. You won't find a better role model anywhere.

 

[Brent]

Thank you for those that offered jokes so far, I lol'd at Mick of Time's joke