• Welcome! The TrekBBS is the number one place to chat about Star Trek with like-minded fans.
    If you are not already a member then please register an account and join in the discussion!

My Trek 11 synopsis

CaptainWacky

More than meets the eye
Rear Admiral
Using what we know of the story so far and also some guess work on my part. I think this is quite close to what the finished thing will be, or perhaps even a little better!

- The movie opens with old Leonard Nimoy Spock on Romulus telling a young Romulan student (played by the kid who plays Walt on Lost) about his first adventure with Captain Kirk for some reason.

- Captain Robert April (played by Tom Cruise) is the captain of the Enterprise at the start of the movie and Kirk is his first officer. April makes one blundering mistake after another (at one point he orders Sulu to go to Warp 11 and Sulu says "Warp 9.9 is the highest we can go, everyone knows that!" to show that they're using the correct warp scale in this movie) and the ship is almost destroyed by space pirates. Kirk eventually says he's taking command and April asks on whose authority. Kirk says "on GOOD SENSE'S authority!" and punches out April. He then rips April's captain's rank insignia off his uniform and pins it on his own. Starfleet allows this because it was a "ballsy move".

- Kirk constantly makes refernce to his "childhood hero" Jonathan Archer and how he inspired him to join Starfleet.

- Uhura is head of security and is sleeping with Scotty.

- Scotty is an alcoholic and his relationship with Uhura is a lot like Colonel Tigh's relationship with Ellen on Battlestar Galactica. In fact, Scotty is a complete rip-off of Tigh in this movie.

- There's dozens of Okudagrams all over the bridge, even though they haven't been invented yet. In fact, there's more Okudagrams than ever before! Spock makes a point of looking at one and saying it's "very pretty" than smiling like he did when he looked at that flower in 'The Cage'.

- Chekov speaks with a New York accent.

- McCoy makes absolutely no bigoted remarks about Vulcans for the entire movie. In fact, he only has three lines and one of them is "Way to go, Spock!"

- Kirk invents the prime directive in act two.

- Captain April escapes from the Brig and murders Chekov in act three. Sulu stabs April in the heart and Kirk turns a blind eye to it.

- At one point, McCoy is checking a refrigeration unit in Sickbay and Kirk asks how "that space pirate we picked up" is doing. McCoy says he's doing fine (his second line in the movie.) We see a close-up of the space pirate and it's clearly a re-imaged KHAN (wearing an eye-patch becaue he's a space pirate now)!

- McCoy's third line is "Damn it Jim, I'm a doctor, not a firefighter!" It makes sense in context (there's a fire.)

- The man plot of the movie sees Kirk investigating a massive fleet of 100 Klingon ships in a nebula bordering Federation space. Kirk suspects that they're going to attack Earth and the Enterprise destroys 99 of the Klingon ships in a massive space battle. However, the captain of the 100th ship (played by Morgan Freeman in a 38 second cameo) explains that they were actually just searching the nebula for tribbles and Kirk let's him live.

- Q (played by Robin Williams) then appears and reveals that the Klingons weren't real at all but just a test designed by him to see if Kirk was worthy of captaining the Enterprise. He says Kirk proved he was by showing the "quality of mercy" and not destroying the 100th ship. Kirk then punches out Q who says "you hit me! Picard never hit me!" then looks directly into the camera and the TNG music plays for a few seconds.

- Q brings Chekov back to life but gives him an unconvincing Russian accent "as a joke."

- The Enterprise used in the movie actually looks nothing like the Enterprise from the Original Series. However, right at the end Scotty causes a warp core breach in one of his drunken moments and the crew escape the ship in a static warp bubble (which is just a big bubble floating through space and nothing like the static warp bubble from TNG's 'Remember Me') just before the Enterprise exlpodes. Kirk then buys a NEW Enterprise (the one from TOS!) from a young Ferengi so that Scotty won't get into trouble. When Uhura asks how they'll explain the Enterprise completely changing to Starfleet, Kirk says "fuck Starfleet!"

- Kirk asks the young Ferengi his name and he says it's "Zek" then looks into the camera and the DS9 music plays for a few seconds.

- The movie ends with the Enterprise crash landing on Talos IV. The Talosians come out and say "welcome to your new home...forever!" They put Kirk in a room with a yeoman. Kirk asks her name and she says it's "Janeway" then looks into the camera, but nothing happens. Kirk shrugs and they have sex, but the Talosians are watching behind some glass with big pervy grins on their faces. What do they have planned? Go see Star Trek 12 and find out!

- After the titles, you see McCoy's refrigeration unit leaking and Khan escapes, another hot dangling plot thread to be picked up in Star Trek 12! The final line of the movie is "it is very cold...in space!" but without the "revenge is a dish best served cold" part, so that you think Khan is just commenting on the temperature of space.

- The screen then goes black for five minutes then there's ANOTHER bonus scene on Romulus with old Spock. Walt asks him if that's how it "really" happened and Spock says "I don't know, I have that brain thing that killed my dad! I don't know what's what anymore!" and starts rolling around on the floor in agony. Walk shrugs.

It will be the greatest movie ever.
 
I expect to see this on AICN soon and taken as gospel soon afterwards on the Internet.

- W -
* After all, if it's on the Internet, it must be true *
 
You left out the part about the whales, man. Otherwise, this will be the bestest movie EVAH!!!!11!!1!11111!!!
 
CASTING NEWS

- The Rock is in talks with Paramount to play Khan. So far the talks have went like this...

Paramount: Hey The Rock, do you want to play Khan in the new Star Trek movie?

The Rock: Not really!

The talks are ongoing.

- Scarlett Johansson has signed up to play Nurse Chapel because Paramount felt there wasn't a large enough (hot, blond, large-breasted) female presence in the movie. Spock's right ear will be injured in the battle with the Space Pirates and he will go to Sickbay to see her (McCoy is sleeping.) He will then "just happen" to go into Pon Farr...

- Yeomon Rand has been re-imaginated as an 18 year old English girl who stands around on the bridge giggling a lot. She will of course be played by Emma Watson. Kirk will make borderline sexist comments about her "calming presence" as a nod to the movie's sixties' roots and Sulu will make more contemporary remarks like "I'd totally hit that" to appeal to the youth of today.

- In fact, one trailer for the movie will see Rand, Chapel and Uhura walking down a corridor in slow motion with all the male crewmembers making crude sexual comments. Director J.J. Abrahms has admitted that "this is to appeal to the lowest common denominator and if you Trekkies don't like it you can kiss my ass!"
 
I haven't laughed so hard in months!

CaptainWacky said:
Kirk says "on GOOD SENSE'S authority!" and punches out April. He then rips April's captain's rank insignia off his uniform and pins it on his own. Starfleet allows this because it was a "ballsy move".

When Uhura asks how they'll explain the Enterprise completely changing to Starfleet, Kirk says "fuck Starfleet!"

:lol: :guffaw: :thumbsup:
 
CaptainWacky said:
CASTING NEWS
- The Rock is in talks with Paramount to play Khan. So far the talks have went like this...

Paramount: Hey The Rock, do you want to play Khan in the new Star Trek movie?

The Rock: Not really!

The talks are ongoing.

He'd be perfect for that role! :lol: Really, he's got the chest! And Trek experience. ;)
 
CaptainWacky said:
It will be the greatest movie ever.
Yep. I'd watch that. :thumbsup:

Just one thing:

- Scarlett Johansson has signed up to play Nurse Chapel because Paramount felt there wasn't a large enough (hot, blond, large-breasted) female presence in the movie. Spock's right ear will be injured in the battle with the Space Pirates and he will go to Sickbay to see her (McCoy is sleeping.) He will then "just happen" to go into Pon Farr...
"Amok Time" fight music here?


Tagline: "Star Trek XI: The Wacky Cut -- it's even better than "Interregnum".

Yes, that's right -- better."
 
SECOND ACT DETAILS EMERGE

- Kirk takes a landing party of all the most important characters (including Chapel and Rand but not McCoy who's rearranging bottles of acid in sickbay) to a planet to search for information on the Klingon fleet build-up. The landing party are caputered by the planet's natives: GIANTS! The Chief Giant (WWE superstar The Great Khali) says he'll kill them all unless Kirk marries and impregnates his daughter (former WWE superstar Stacy Keibler made taller using CGI)! Kirk at first doesn't want to sleep with her because it's "unprofessional" for a captain to get laid while on duty, but Spock (remembering his experience with Chapel) tells him that sometimes it is "logical" to have sex. The words "18 minutes later" then flash up on screen and Kirk is sitting on the edge of the giantess's bed pulling his boots back on. The Giantess says he "makes loves like a giant" and Kirk says "I get that a lot."

EASTER EGGS

- Tom Cruise will wear prosthetics to make him look more like Gene Rodenberry when playing Captian Robert April (everyone knows April looked like Rodenberry because it was in a CANON Okuda book.)

- Two red shirts who April murders will be named "Ensign Brannon" and "Ensign Braga". They were supposed to be called "Ensign Berman" and "Ensign Braga", which certainly would have made more sense, but someone made a typo and it's too late to change their names now.

- Gary Mitchell IS in the film! After the battle with the Klingons Spock will present Kirk with a list of the dead. Gary Mitchell's name will be on there. The text will be too small to read, even on the big screen, but it WILL be on there.

- Sulu's quarters will be full of guns and swords.
 
CaptainWacky said:
- Tom Cruise will wear prosthetics to make him look more like Gene Rodenberry when playing Captian Robert April (everyone knows April looked like Rodenberry because it was in a CANON Okuda book.)

:lol: I don't know, but a part of me wants them to actually do that. It would be kind of amusing.
 
:lol: :guffaw: amazing. At first I thought you were being serious... but thankfully i spotted your tongue planted firmly to cheek :thumbsup:
 
CaptainWacky said:
- Tom Cruise will wear prosthetics to make him look more like Gene Rodenberry when playing Captian Robert April (everyone knows April looked like Rodenberry because it was in a CANON Okuda book.)

I apologize profusely for asking a serious question here, but what book was that, and is there a picture online?
 
If you are not already a member then please register an account and join in the discussion!

Sign up / Register


Back
Top