My mother was diagnosed with cancer. :-(

[ancientone51]

Thoughts, prayers and gentle Zen hugs to you and your family. I agree on the positive outlook, lots of laughter and trust in the wonders of modern medicine.

You will find your inner strength to get you through from a distance and find a way to help mom as well.

 

[Spaceman Spiff]

Positive thoughts to your mother, Naira.

 

[Danoz]

Thoughts and prayers with you, Naira. I know what it's like to be a long way from home when you feel like you should be there... I've found that regular, scheduled video Skype calls and just casual "How are you" messages can make a big difference. This is a great community, too-- glad you posted this because there are a lot of kind and thoughtful people here with similar experiences. Post anytime!!

 

[RJDiogenes]

I'm sorry to hear this, Naira. But based on the treatment plan that you describe, it sounds like there is an optimistic prognosis. I have several friends who have survived bouts with cancer. I'm sure your mom will be okay in a few months.

 

[Locutus of Bored]

I'm very sorry to hear this, Naira. You and your mom are in my thoughts, and I hope she has a full and speedy recovery.

 

[Naira]

Thank you all guys!

Your support means a lot to me!

 

[rhubarbodendron]

AnOfficer is right: positive thinking helps really a lot.

It might make you feel better, but it won't cure cancer. Also, I don't think it is very helpful get told that 'diseases in the body are created by your own mental patterns'.

I perfectly agree, Miss Lemon, but that was not what I meant. What I was refering to was that positive thinking gives you a certain emotional backup and more inner strength. According to a breast cancer specialist my mom consulted, those patients who think positive have less problems with the chemo and a significantly lower death rate. It appears that people who think negative give up quicker while the positive thinkers fight. Interestingly, positive thinkers also show a better immune response (but that would propably qualify as fight as well ).

I'm sure I can speak for all us when I say we're all here for you.

absolutely!

 

[Sparky]

Very sorry to hear about this Naria. My thoughts and best wishes go out to you and your family.

It can be very easy to forget about yourself while you try to help your Mom, please make sure that you take care of yourself in this time as well.

THIS x1000. This is probably the best advice you can take from this thread. The journey ahead is going to be filled with very sharp emotional ups and downs. Make sure you give yourself enough "me" time to recharge your batteries.

Use whatever resources you have available to help your family and yourself to deal with the situation. The cancer treatment centre may offer counselling for individuals and families who are dealing with cancer. There may be support groups in the area that have meetings. Use us as a sounding board, or just a place to vent. When my father was diagnosed with cancer, I found it very helpful to just share my thoughts with people on this board.

I wish the best for your mother, your father and yourself. If you ever feel the need to vent to a stranger, feel free to PM me anytime.

 

[rhubarbodendron]

I second that. Being in a different time zone than Sparky, I'll gladly be at your service when he's asleep.
With people here from all the world we should be able to 24/7 have someone online for you to talk to.

 

[Naira]

She had her first chemo session today. She sounded ok at the phone, I hope she feels ok during the following days.

Her main problem right now is the fluid in her because she cannot get comfortable anyway she sits or stays in bed. The doctors tried to get some out of her today but they could not reach it with needles.

BTW, we checked for wigs and I think they are ridiculously expensive, over 700 euros!

 

[jespah]

Here in the US, wigs for chemo patients are covered under insurance. Perhaps that's the case there, or at least for a discount?

I second the folks who said it can be easy to forget about your own needs when in the thick of this. Please do take care of yourself.

 

[Unicron]

Naira, I'm sending all of my good vibes to your mother, and you. It sounds like she caught it early, before it spread. If so, that's great news. She's lucky to have you.

Mr Awe

Agreed. I've lost several relatives to different forms of cancer over the years, and it's even harder when the cancer goes into remission more than once and then turns aggressive again. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts, Naira, and pray for the best.

* hugs *

 

[Kelso]

I'm really sorry to hear that. My fiance's dad was just diagnosed with stage four prostate cancer. He doesn't have long left and it has come as a shock to everyone.

 

[RJDiogenes]

^^ Bloody Hell, Kelso, I'm so sorry to hear that.

 

[Mary Ann]

You and your mom are in my thoughts. When my mom was diagnosed with cancer I was living on a different continent, so I know what it's like for you not living near by your mom. I fully support what others have said by making sure you take care of yourself.

Kelso, my thoughts are also with you and your family.

 

[Ruaidhri]

So sorry to hear this news, Naira. I'll be keeping you and your mother in my thoughts!

 

[M'Sharak]

BTW, we checked for wigs and I think they are ridiculously expensive, over 700 euros!

Start a small hat collection? It doesn't have to be too expensive - have one for each day of the week, or something like that.

 

[Naira]

A bit of ranting...

Remember I said that my mother is not an optimistic person like me? Well, it has been showing a lot lately! While she has her ups and downs, she is mostly in a sitting-down-and-waiting-to-die mood! This gets on my nerves! I tell her that she must be strong and optimistic and do things to keep her mind away from the disease. And then I talk to her about my day, what I have been doing, details about setting up my new apartment, everyday stuff as usual to make her talk about something else than doctors and hospitals. I also call her for cooking tips even when I don't really need them.

She is the kind of person that gets very easily "lost" in difficult situations. I do my best to cheer her up a bit, but it gets on my nerves that she can't see the bright side!

 

[Mr Awe]

^^ Being a caregiver is quite a burden. Been there done that! It's tough! There's no easy answers either. It can be particularly difficult when the person you're caring for is not always appreciative of what you're doing for them.

Hang in there. You'll need your optimistic outlook! Thank goodness you have it! It sounds like you're doing a fantastic job keeping her spirits up as much as possible. I'm an optimistic person too but I can't imagine how I'd react if I were diagnosed with cancer. She is understandably scared.

Whatever happens, don't start to feel guilty if you find yourself becoming more and more annoyed at her outlook. Hopefully, it doesn't come to that, but if it does, it's normal for the caregive to have those feelings.

Mr Awe

 

[RJDiogenes]

Sounds like my Mother. She thinks that anxiety and depression are virtues.

I don't know if this will work for you, but my way of dealing with it is to tease her unrelentingly about it.