Movies Caption Contest #246: Well prepared

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone, time for a new contest!

First up to the plate, we have the "Vulcan grudges" Award, going to:

Spock: "I apologize to each of you for the bizarre letters you each recently received from my father, Ambassador Sarek. Apparently, he is just not going to ever let this
Starfleet/Vulcan Science Academy thing go."

Next, we have the "Have you heard of the stun setting?" Award, going to:

Worf: Shut the hatch! Shut the hatch!

Security Officer: Borg drones, sir?

Worf: Worse, proselytizers!

Proselytizers: Have you found God? Do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior?

Next, we have the "Mindless humor" Award, going to:

DATA: Rigarte' ! Nothing up my sleeve...
GEORDI: Nothing in your positronic brain either!

Our photoshop award, (and yes I'm still a sucker for Carl Spock) goes to:

Geordi: These photon torpedoes are so cold and volatile it would only take a little tweaking to convert one into a girlfriend.

Data: Ladies and gentlemen, Geordi LaForge.

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

And now, a new contest!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: Scotty?

Scotty: I told you a chimpanzee and 2 trainees could crew her. Well, there they are.

Data: (singing) WHO ALLOWED THE CANINES TO LEAVE?

McCoy: Are we firing torpedoes?

Kirk: Not yet. You're just in time. Fire, Valeris.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

TFTW, LeadHead!

McCoy (sotto voce): "Valeris's figure does some wonderful things to that uniform, don't you think, Jim?"
Kirk (sotto voce): "God, what I wouldn't give to spend a weekend on Wrigley's Pleasure Planet with her!"
Valeris: "I can hear you!"

 

[Armored Saint]

Thanks LeadHead, but not thanks for making an non-Spock contest.

BONES: Jim, letting the comms and the weapon controls to two severely drunk officer's maybe not a wise choice.

KIRK: The continuity...this Tuvok dude's screwing up the continuity...
BONES: That green-blooded hobgoblin son of a bitch!

 

[Nerys Myk]

DATA:...and I'm not saying Riker's had a lot of women, but there is a planetoid called "Memory-Riker" dedicated to his ex-girlfriends.

There's Worf, the bride almost married him, you know. Lucky break, considering what happened to his wife..


Is this thing on?

 

[Maurice]

KIRK: How did she get on board?
CAROL: And how about those 20 years of missed child support payments, Mister "I feel young"?

DATA: Indigestion? Pep-to Bis-mol.

BONES: My God, man. Change the channel! We're missing the season finale of Duck Dynasty!

 

[T'Girl]

McCoy: "Can I get a chair?"

 

[tharpdevenport]

McCoy: "Jim, it's a scam communication; you didn't win the Klingon Lotto."

Just when they thought it was safe, and that they'd never have to wash their eyes out with Scrubbing Bubbles ever again, suddenly, and unexpectedly, Uhura strips and does the fan dance again.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

* Sound of turbolift doors opening *
Voice (OS): "Hey! Do you guys have permission to be in here?!"
Kirk: "Cheese it, boys! The jig is up!"

 

[Nebusj]

Chekov: ``You say you do not like my Little Lord Fauntleroy outfit, now you do not like this either…''
Kirk: ``Why do you even have a pelican costume?''

Data takes the chance of Riker's wedding to reveal that after fifteen years of work he has finally perfected his Sneezing subroutine.

McCoy: ``Jim, have you ever noticed those keyboard consoles along the wall are way too low for people who're standing, and like five inches too high for people who're sitting?''

 

[Candlelight]

Kirk: "What did you say about my hair...?"
Bones: "I said 'we'll have to pay for this later', what did you hear?"

"SHUT UP... you lot can... can... I'm not pished you know... the rumours you're hearing from La Forge aren't true... I did have sex with that parking meter outside. Hahahahahahaha-"
*falls off stage*

"Does that say 'traitor' on her back?"
"Whoops, supposed to take that off, my bad"

 

[shivkala]

Thanks for the win, Leadhead!

The crew were stunned to learn that, over a month later, Leadhead finally posted a new movie caption contest.

Data: (singing) ♪♫And I was like, Baby, Baby, Baby, oh...♫♪

Kirk: Did Saavik do something different with her hair?

McCoy: Damn it, Jim, are you sure selling the glasses I got you was the best idea?

Kirk: Those were for my farsightedness. I can see things at a distance.

McCoy: If you can see at a distance, then my sainted grandmother was a Vulcan! Next time I buy your sorry ass glasses, they'll be bifocals!

KIRK: The continuity...this Tuvok dude's screwing up the continuity...
BONES: That green-blooded hobgoblin son of a bitch!

Valeris: That's racist!
http://www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/

 

[Leviathan]

at that exact moment freak wormhole opened up in the fabric of the space-time continuum and carried his song far back in time to:

McCoy: He's going to SING? Blue Skies?
KirK: Fire phasers...

 

[austen_pierce]

*offscreen* "yeah, yeah, really! And their names are Pegg, Cho, and Pine"

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Damn it, Bones! Put some clothes on!

 

[Armored Saint]

KIRK: Damn, Uhura, stop this inappropriate dirty talk seance with Brigadier Kerla!
UHURA: Sorry sir, I can't hear you over the sound of how Romulan Ale makes me horny!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Data's calypso-influenced Rammstein covers were not a big hit with the crew.

 

[Finn]

McCoy: *whispers* You okay?
Kirk: *whispers* I'd do her, but I can see a lot of her father in her. It'd be too creepy.
….

Valeris: I can hear you, boys…I mean sirs.

KIRK: Damn it, Bones! Put some clothes on!

SULU: NO! Don't!

 

[Smellincoffee]

McCoy: I have it on good authority that the new pilot is er, shall we say, hot for captain?
Kirk: Oh, dear god. I've been with a Vulcan once, Bones. Never again. Never again.

Scotty: Where th'HELL does that 'jarring, dramatic chord' keep comin' from every time there's a lull in the conversation?!

 

[CorporalCaptain]

McCoy: (sotto voice) Jim, is it my imagination, or is Valeris actually angry?!?

Kirk: (sotto voice) You're right. It began right after Scotty called her "Lassie."