Movie Caption Contest #90: Signs

[Rat Boy]

Enough with the jibba-jabba, because it's time for another caption contest, fool! But first, let's all pity...

For Scotty finally elaborating on a dangling thread (well, sort of) from TWOK, our winner is...

McCoy: "I can't believe I missed it Mr Scott. So you're sayin'.."

Scott: "Aye ye quack. It wasn't a we bit o' shore leave after all. Turns out I have E.D."

Kirk: "So that's where my little blue pills have gone."

Sulu: "Like they'd do you any good."

For Dr. Cochrane cutting through the bull, our winner is...

Geordi: We can't seem to get this to work Dr. Cochrane.

Cochrane: That's because it's not connected to anything you dumbass.

And the Photoshop winner, who fit in with last week's title quite nicely...

Geordi: "I ain't goin' on no Phoenix!"
Hannibal: "Zeph, you distract him, I'll get the drugs. Reg, quit playin' with that coil and get your wedding dress on"

Congratulations to the winners and here are our updated totals:

Nerys Myk (Hall of Fame) 41
Candlelight (Hall of Fame) 39
cooleddie74 (Hall of Fame) 30
Gertch (Hall of Fame) 24
Shatmandu (Hall of Fame) 22
The Laughing Vulcan (Hall of Fame) 20
Outpost4 16
Turd Ferguson 14
Triskelion 14
Diesel Micky Dolenz 12
Nebusj 11
scottydog 11
middyseafort 11
EliyahuQeoni 10
BriGuy 9
zephramc 9
DS9Sega 9
Kegek 8
cultcross 7
Tharpdevenport 7
John_Picard 6
Atavachron 6
Herkimer Jitty 6
LeadHead 6
SciFi75 5
Finn 5
The Cutest of Borg 5
Alrik 5
CaptainJon 4
Haggis and Tatties 4
Skywalker 4
NCC-1701 4
Defcon 4
Kirby 4
jptrekker 4
Bad Atom 4
Sisu 3
David_Leese 3
archerguy1701 3
Starpaul20 3
ancient 3
chancellorjake 3
Peach Wookie 3
SeerSGB 3
J. Allen 2
Arthur Frelling Dent 2
Lloyd_Dobbler 2
nil_jones 2
OphaClyde 2
Gagarin 2
casey 2
Redshirts Widow 2
Cky 2
Mistral 2
captain crow 2
cardinal biggles 1
Vasquez Rocks 1
Valin 1
Nathan_Heller 1
Guartho 1
Alyssa 1
A beaker full of death 1
rmkwebdesign 1
Starlock 1
Admiral Garak 1
Broccoli 1
Mister.Woof 1
The Squire of Gothos 1
A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees 1
battrekker 1
DrBob 1
Sector7 1
USS Mariner 1
hmbnimbus 1
S'Kai 1
H F Mudd 1
dukesman 1
Fire 1
Super Grover 1
Johnnyracefan 1
SciFi75 1
jongredic 1
BriGuy 1
26138 1
Toban Kal 1
trilbymonkey 1
Will 1
Captain Mike 1
Civil Shadow 1
Piper 1
T'Boggan 1

This week, all signs point to funny. First up is perhaps the most convienently timed product placement in a Trek film ever and second we have someone not taking the hint. Enjoy:

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "You know, this gives me an idea."

Scotty: "We say 'to hell with the whales' and see if this lass will give us a happy ending?"

*McCoy shakes his head in disgust*

Riker: "All right, so maybe I've never washed my beard before, but 'yuck?' What are you, eight?"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

McCoy: "Yellow pages? What's that?"
Scott: "I havnae a clue laddie."
Sulu: "I know that people were racist back in the 20th Century, but damn that's blatant!"

Riker: "Damn your boobs have sagged over the last ten years. If only there was a way to firm them up..."

 

[Rat Boy]

Sulu: "Do you think we could use it to find..."

McCoy & Scotty: "NO!"

Sulu: "...an ancestor, all I was going to say was an ancestor. God, must everything be sexual with you people?"

 

[Alrik]

A win! Thanks R.B.

Owner: "Sorry boys. Take out only."

McCoy: "Keep walking."

Trio: "Cute Will. But no playing Motor Boat until you shave that thing off."

 

[Alrik]

Woman: "Hey sailor. Fiffy dollah and I love you long time."

McCoy: "It appears we now know the answer to the question 'what gets used more than the Yellow Pages'."

 

[Mistral]

Scotty: "Aye, she's a fine lass. I wouldn't mind a spin with her!"

Sulu: "She's my grandmother."

Scotty: "Ah, uh,...."

 

[Gertch]

Scotty: "Aye, she's a fine lass. I wouldn't mind a spin with her!"

Sulu: "She's my grandmother."

Scotty: "Ah, uh,...."

Scotty: "Ah, why not. Be back in a few gentlemen."

Sulu: "Noooooo-"

Sulu: "Crap."

 

[Captain Crow]

Thanks for choosing me as one of the winners Rat Boy!

Scotty: I haven' ah been able to find it in years.

McCoy: Find what?

Scotty: Me willy!

Riker: You gotta come see this! I just shit a turd as big as a house!

Riker: You just beef in here?

Riker: If you squint and go cross eyed you do kinda look a little like Deanna in that wig, Captain.

 

[John Picard]

Riker: "Two girls, one -- WHAT?"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Scotty: "Aye, she's a fine lass. I wouldn't mind a spin with her!"

Sulu: "She's my grandmother."

Scotty: "Ah, uh,...."

Scotty: "Ah, why not. Be back in a few gentlemen."

Sulu: "Noooooo-"

Sulu: "What if I get back to the future and I'm like, gay or something?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Asian Lady, translated: <"Hey, move that fat, white asshole out of the way so I can yell at my husband ...">
Scotty: "What did she say?"
Sulu: "Uh, well ... Not sure. Wrong dialect."

Riker: "Last time I use the toilet after Captain Picard ..."

McCoy: "No offense, Sulu, but I'd like a piece of your great-grannie."

 

[Nerys Myk]

GRANDMA: Sulu, you come here right away! What I tell you bout hanging out with men from the Castro!!!!

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Scotty: Hey, lassie. You give me five minutes, and I'll let my fingers do all the takin'.
McCoy: Me first, Scotty. I got the hands of a surgeon.
Sulu: I'll pass.

Riker: You want me to shave first? What about you? I haven't seen bush that thick or dense since I last visited the moon of Endor.

 

[Alrik]

RIKER: "Deanna, whoa! Might want to consider a go with the Massingill."

 

[Captain Crow]

McCoy: Do you have an all-you-can-eat buffet, Miss?

Lady: Yes we have... wait a minute. Is fat man with you?

McCoy: Ya.

Lady: No, we don't have one.

Lady: Leather bar five blocks that way!

McCoy: I think she's talking to you Sulu.

 

[Alrik]

Granny: "How many times do I have to tell you Hikaru? The arms go inside the sleeves. Keep dressing like that and people will start thinking that you are gay or something."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Lady: Hey. Hey. You dress too funny for Chinatown. You wanna go to Castro.

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

Owner: "Hey. I only get paid when bus pass by and people see sign. Get the fuck out of the way!"

 

[Shatmandu]

Woman yelling, in Japanese: "方法 fat-ass から脂 homosexual 肪質の skinny cocksucker 出なさい!!!"

Asian Lady: "You looking for the Haircut/Blowjob Palace? Come on in."
Sulu: "G'amma?"

Asian Lady: "Skinny guy and gay guy, buffet still open. Other guy, we closed like a mo-fo for you, Chunk-Style."