Movie Caption Contest #72: Borg-as Frat!

[Rat Boy]

The holidays are upon us and so is a new caption contest. First, there are a few gifts to be unwrapped by...

First, for the picture of Kirk and Spock asking if Gillian knows the way to San Jose, our winner is...

Kirk: "I wish more women drove without pants."

And for the picture of Stewart damning Shatner and the horse he rode in on, our winner is...

``Well, it's your Nexus fantasy. If you want a real horse too instead of a stuffed toy head on a long stick, just wish yourself one.''

And the Photoshop winners:

Denny, this is the last time I let you choose the dude ranch...

KIRK(Whispering): Let me do the talking and ixnay on the eedway.

Congratulations to our old-school winners and here are the updated totals:

Nerys Myk (Hall of Fame) 34
Candlelight (Hall of Fame) 31
cooleddie74 (Hall of Fame) 24
Gertch (Hall of Fame) 21
The Laughing Vulcan 17
Outpost4 15
Shatmandu 15
Turd Ferguson 12
Triskelion 11
Nebusj 11
Diesel Micky Dolenz 10
scottydog 10
EliyahuQeoni 10
BriGuy 9
Kegek 8
cultcross 7
zephramac 7
middyseafort 7
DS9Sega 7
Tharpdevenport 6
Atavachron 6
John_Picard 5
SciFi75 5
LeadHead 5
Finn 5
Herkimer Jitty 5
CaptainJon 4
Haggis and Tatties 4
Skywalker 4
The Cutest of Borg 4
NCC-1701 4
Defcon 4
Kirby 4
Sisu 3
David_Leese 3
archerguy1701 3
Starpaul20 3
ancient 3
chancellorjake 3
jptrekker 3
Bad Atom 3
Peach Wookie 3
J. Allen 2
Arthur Frelling Dent 2
SeerSGB 2
Lloyd_Dobbler 2
nil_jones 2
OphaClyde 2
Gagarin 2
casey 2
Redshirts Widow 2
Cky 2
Mistral 2
cardinal biggles 1
Vasquez Rocks 1
Valin 1
Nathan_Heller 1
Guartho 1
Alyssa 1
A beaker full of death 1
rmkwebdesign 1
Starlock 1
Admiral Garak 1
Broccoli 1
Mister.Woof 1
The Squire of Gothos 1
A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees 1
battrekker 1
DrBob 1
Sector7 1
USS Mariner 1
hmbnimbus 1
S'Kai 1
H F Mudd 1
dukesman 1
Fire 1
Super Grover 1
Johnnyracefan 1
SciFi75 1
jongredic 1


For this week, since it is the holidays, I'm in a generous mood, so we have four pictures. Unfortunately, the first two might inspire nightmares since they're from one of the most awkward subplots of Star Trek V: Scotty and Uhura! Makes me shudder just thinking about it. Next, we have a case of one of these drones is not like the others and finally the might android Data, with the strength of ten men, is brought to his knees by a papercut. Happy captioning and holidays.

 

[Rat Boy]

Uhura did her best to prop Scotty up so Kirk wouldn't know he was hitting the sauce while on duty again.

Scotty: "You did a fan dance and I wasn't there to see it?"

Borg Collective: "We are the Borg. Lower your shields and...all right, which one of us cut a fart? Now the whole cube is going to reek for months."

Borg Queen: "Stand down. He's crying like a baby."

 

[Shatmandu]

Nichols: "How about we do Trek's first onscreen interracial anal?"

Nichols: "I suppose I should have clarified which one of us would be taking it up the ass ..."

Borg to Picard's Left, whispering: "Only if our balls touch, newguy."

 

[scottydog]

Uhura: "Wow.... Wooo! Who says you can't defy the laws of physics, big boy?"

Scotty: "I'm tellin' ya... I need more power!"

Uhura: "Well then, take another tiny blue pill and let's get GOING!"

 

[shivkala]

Want to make Shatner jealous?

Dear God, Uhura's a MAN BABY!

One of these Borg is not like the others,
One of these Borg just doesn't belong...

Damn it, Data, it's just a jump to the left, and then a step to the right. How are we going to do our Borg Horror Picture Show skit for the talent show if you keep getting it wrong!

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Scotty: "Could ye... do the fan dance for me again?"

Scotty: "It's a bloody cheap redress, lass! THEY'RE ALL bloody cheap redresses!"

During his teen years, Picard was the only kid at his high school who didn't go goth.

Star Trek First Contact: The Interprative Dance.

 

[Rat Boy]

Not that this has anything to do with this contest, but last year I did a special Caption Contest Christmas Card so I decided to another one this year to wish you all a...

From left to right, standing: Trigger-Happy Terrell, Cloud William, Carl Spock, Cloud Santas, Assless Chaps Picard, and Running Spock.

From left to right, sitting: Vomit, Grignak (the fish-looking coffee asswipe), Lefty the Tribble Salesman, Baby Jimmy, Flamethrower Data, Pointing Worf ("Sir, I protest! I am not a JOLLY MAN!"), and Barney the Testicles.

And here's a special animated Roxbury edition:

 

[Candlelight]

"I said turn your head and then cough"

"Back of my hand... and then I hit my head! BACK OF MY HAND I TELLS YE!!!

Where's Picard.

"Wait! Lost my contact. Nobody move"

 

[Nerys Myk]

UHURA: Touch me there again and I'll break your neck.

The production error only made it more valuable to collectors.

DATA: Ouch!!! Not so rough!!!!

 

[Rat Boy]

For an hour after Picard's transformation into Locutus, the Borg did nothing but sing "Bohemian Rhapsody."

 

[Gertch]

Thanks for the win!

Uhura: "See? Peeing in a cup wasn't so hard now was it."

The latest Trekkie basement wallpaper was an immediate hit.

DATA:

"Cause this Is Thriller, Thriller Night
and No-ones Gonna Save You from the Borg about Strike..."

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Scotty: "I had the strangest dream! I was Simon Pegg and there was CGI everywhere!"

Uhura: "Scotty, it's ok, you're safe now, back in good old Star Trek V."

Scotty: "Star Trek V???"

 

[Finn]

"Yes I will. Just don't tell Shatner".

"Yes. I'm an engineer, fully fuctional"

"Tugging your shirt is futile"

The Borg Queen finally broke Data by introducing a Yar look-alike drone to him.

 

[cooleddie74]

"There, there, Scotty.

I'll go get you a new Depends as soon as I call Sulu and Chekov down on the surface. Stop crying."

"Accch, lass...it was a horrible dream!

I was in a movie where the special effects were substandard...the script doctoring was practically nonexistent...and we were directed by Wil...



Oh.

Oh, NO!!!

Dear Heavens, NOOOOOO!!!!!"

PICARD:"Turn down your thoughts about Klingon opera up there, dammit!!!

I'm trying to get a good night's regeneration down here!!!"

DATA:"Oh no...

Noonien Horse!!

OW!!!!"

 

[cooleddie74]

"Aye, lass.

Your hands smell of cheese and salt.

Let's do it. Right here and NOW."

"Sorry, Uhura...I...I cannae do it!!!

The last time this happened, the Princess Regent of Deneb V slapped a paternity suit on my bloody ass!!!"

 

[Mistral]

"Egads, woman! I just realized how old you are!"

 

[cultcross]

Picard: Do you ever wake up in the morning and realise you've become just another corporate drone?

 

[Mistral]

Ok, who was the wise guy that stuck the Ken doll in with my Micronauts?

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Scotty: "What de ye mean the twinkies are all gone!?!!?"

Locutus was the only one who ever dressed casually on Casual Fridays.

 

[Gertch]

Scotty: "What de ye mean the twinkies are all gone!?!!?"

Awesome!