Movie Caption Contest #58: Highway to Hell

[Rat Boy]

You Klingon bastards, you killed my contest! Another week comes to and end...wait, maybe it's the beginning. Never mind. On to the winners:

The only thing a Klingon hates more than a Tribble is a perm.

"Sixty-six... sixty-seven... Dammit. Call off the mission. They found the exact number of people it takes before it becomes wrong."

As for the Photoshop winner, let's just say it was hard to think of a reason to not pick him:

VOMIT: Fuck off turtlehead!

The Klingon growls.

DAVID (under his breath): I told you that wasn't Spock!

SAAVIK (through gritted teeth): You're not the one who had to have sex with him!

DAVID: well....

SAAVIK: David!!!!

Congratulations to the winners, including first time winner Gagarin. Here's the updated winners list:

Nerys Myk (Hall of Fame) 31
Year of Hell (Hall of Fame) 27
cooleddie74 (Hall of Fame) 21
Gertch 17
The Laughing Vulcan 15
Shatmandu 14
Outpost4 13
Turd Ferguson 10
scottydog 9
Nebusj 9
BriGuy 9
EliyahuQeoni 9
Diesel Micky Dolenz 9
Triskelion 9
Kegek 8
cultcross 7
zephramac 7
DS9Sega 6
Tharpdevenport 6
John_Picard 5
SciFi75 5
middyseafort 5
CaptainJon 4
Haggis and Tatties 4
Skywalker 4
The Cutest of Borg 4
NCC-1701 4
Defcon 4
Kirby 4
LeadHead 4
Finn 4
Sisu 3
David_Leese 3
archerguy1701 3
Starpaul20 3
ancient 3
chancellorjake 3
jptrekker 3
Bad Atom 3
J. Allen 2
Arthur Frelling Dent 2
SeerSGB 2
Lloyd_Dobbler 2
Peach Wookie 2
nil_jones 2
OphaClyde 2
cardinal biggles 1
Vasquez Rocks 1
Valin 1
Nathan_Heller 1
Guartho 1
Alyssa 1
A beaker full of death 1
rmkwebdesign 1
Starlock 1
Redshirts Widow 1
Admiral Garak 1
Broccoli 1
Mister.Woof 1
The Squire of Gothos 1
A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees 1
battrekker 1
DrBob 1
Sector7 1
USS Mariner 1
hmbnimbus 1
S'Kai 1
H F Mudd 1
dukesman 1
Fire 1
Super Grover 1
Herkimer Jitty 1
Atavachron 1
Gagarin 1

This week, we focus on those long drives made all the awkward by surprise revelations on whale pregnancy, annoying talking heads, and the occasional Vulcan or Klingon fart. Have at:

 

[Rat Boy]

After seeing Gillian mercilessly run over a peace protester, Kirk and Spock consider bailing.

Worf: "The phaser is empty, Captain!"

Picard: "That just leaves throwing Data's spare parts at them!"

 

[Haggis and tatties]

Spock" What the hell does she mean by spit roast"

Data" Hold on one minute captain till i pack away my get out of jail free card"

 

[Gertch]

Data: "Some head sir?"
Picard: "Yes Data, it is."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "You just ran over that bird! I thought you liked animals."

Gillian: "I like whales. Birds are feathered rats that shit everywhere. I'd kill more if the gun control laws in the city weren't as strict."

B-4: "This is not a boot."

 

[Triskelion]

Kirk: Can we go to Popeye's?

B4 - Please stop singing "Faith of the Heart". And FYI it's not "I've got hair in a can and lips made out of assfat."

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: There is a 60% probability that the serial-killer is in the truck bed or that Dr. Taylor is in fact the killer

[/QUOTE]

DATA: S'allright?

B4: S'allright.

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "That was my leather belt rubbing against the seat."

Picard, shouting above road noise: "All we need is Beverly's wig, and my Saturday night is taken care of."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Spock: "What does it mean, 'wax on, wax off'?"
Kirk: "Must be another one of those colourful metaphors."

Picard: "We're in a space age dune buggy, your spare head's in the central cubby, it's 2000 light years to Risa, and we're wearing shades."

Data: "Hit it!"

 

[Turd Ferguson]

"Admiral, it appears we have arrived at a point in history when feminine hygiene products left a lot to be desired."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Spock: "'hide in the bushes'? Please, Jim, they're filming KArate Kid 3 down the street. Now drop me the hell off."

Data: "Comfy, Rick?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "I believe she has what was referred to as a 'trucker mouth.'"

 

[cooleddie74]

SPOCK:"What does it mean...

Breaker, Breaker, Good Buddy?"

B-4:"Terminator shades?

That does not seem logical."

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"Just drop up off at the nearest truck stop or diner.

My friend here had a huge vegetarian platter this morning and he's gotta drop one STAT."

PICARD:"This is the last time I let you bring your sex dolls along on away team missions, Commander!"

 

[Atavachron]

Data: "Captain, I feel I have a fever and a sore throat."

Atavachron

 

[Candlelight]

"Imagine, billions of miles away, unlikely occurence of amino acids and proteins combining together, millions of years of evolution and all I have to do is tie something around my head and our species look identical"

"It's not ready yet sir"
"Very well Mr Data, give it another 20 minutes on fan bake"

 

[Atavachron]

A priest, a Buddhist and a cross-dressing Rabbi are driving down the road...

Atavachron

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Gillian: Alright Kirk, which way are you heading?

Pam: Right.

Gillian: That's too bad...

Kirk: Why?

Gillian: Well there was a fifty-fifty chance on which direction you'd take. You see we're both going left, you could've just as easily been going the same and if that happened it might have been awhile before you started to get scared. But seein as your going Right, I'm afraid you're gonna have to get scared...Immediately.

Spock: *looks at Kirk* WE SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN A TAXI.

Kirk: Easy, Spock.

Data: Oh shit, we killed him man-

Picard: It's okay-

Data: Shit, we killed him, what do we do?

Picard: Shut up and let me think! Alright, alright. We put his head in the glovebox and say Janeway did it.

Data: Bu-

Picard: Just do it! Do you want to spend the rest of your life in prison? In New Zealand?

 

[Rat Boy]

Data: Oh shit, we killed him man-

Picard: It's okay-

Data: Shit, we killed him, what do we do?

Picard: Shut up and let me think! Alright, alright. We put his head in the glovebox and say Janeway did it.

Data: Bu-

Picard: Just do it! Do you want to spend the rest of your life in prison? In New Zealand?

Later...

Janeway: "Did you notice a sign out in front of my house that said 'Dead Android Storage?'"

Picard: "No, I didn't."

Janeway: "You know why you didn't see that sign?"

Picard: "Why?"

Janeway: "'Cause it ain't there, 'cause storing dead androids ain't my fucking business, that's why!"

 

[scottydog]

Data: "Not the time to lose one's head."
Picard: "No."
Data: "That's not the way to get ahead in life."
Picard: "No."
Data: "It's a shame he wasn't more headstrong."
Picard: "Hmm."
Data: "He'll never be the head of a major corporation."
Picard: "Okay, that'll do."
Data: "Okay."