Movie Caption Contest #55: LOL

[Candlelight]

Scotty: "...and then I sabotaged the warp reactor so if that Vulcan ever goes in there and tries to get the warp drive working again he'll probably die!"

Kirk: "You're sick, you know that!"

Scotty: "I also farted in your space suit. Better not use it in the next few days"

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Who do you think will be photoshopped in behind us?

SCOTTY: Gay Sulu?

KIRK: Too obvious.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Thank Scotty's finger! I won!

Kirk: "Bourbon and beans... " PARP! "... an explosive combination. Heh!"
Scotty: "Aye, but Scotch and..." Blrrtt! "... haggis is positively nuclear." BLART!

Data: "annoyed, and a droid. A 'noid. I get it. Guinan tried to sell that to me as the epitome of humour? What a lame line! About as funny as my secondary dataport. I've sampled fart jokes funnier than that! And that Jerry Lewis take-off in the holodeck. What a load of crap. The Ferengi in the Gorilla Suit. Shit, no wonder it took me seven years to figure humour out. You idiots are about as funny as one of my turds, and I'm an android. I don't have turds... The irony in itself is amusing. An android taught humour by rejects from the Henry Kissinger school of wisecracks!"

Geordi: "I hate that emotion chip!"

Nimoy: "What's up Bill, you look like you're in agony."
Shatner: "I threw my back out trying to hoist your bike into the rafters."
Nimoy: "You still pulling that lame gag. Besides that was 20 years ago, I don't have a bike anymore..."
Shatner: "So whose Harley is that?"
Nimoy: "Vomit's"
Vomit in distance: "When I find the fucking asshole who touched my bike, I'll..."

 

[scottydog]

Doohan: "I love watching The Biggest Loser."

Shatner: "Yeah, thank God we'll never need to be on THAT show."

 

[scottydog]

"That kung pao chicken I made for you yesterday was SPOT!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Shatner: "You see, everyone thinks it's God, but it really isn't, so Captain Kirk asks what does God need with a starship?"

Nimoy: "Stop it...ha ha ha...you're killing me!"

Shatner: "Ah, you found the joke funny?"

Nimoy: "No...ha ha ha...I just can't believe any human being would come up with something so incredibly stupid."

 

[Triskelion]

Serious! It took Leonard three weeks to notice his ears suddenly had a clitoris!

Nice glasses! Douchebag!

And in the end, instead of the heroic last-second beamout, you just die! You'll never have to do another one of these things again!

I love it! I can finally finish my book I Am Not Nor Have I Ever been, Not Spock!

 

[cooleddie74]

They shared a chuckle, but they both knew which one had farted.

Sadly, Data's Jerry Lewis impression had gotten only louder...and worse...in the six years since his initial holodeck studies of human humor.

"Hi. I'm actor, producer and director Leonard Nimoy.

Do you suffer from diarrhea and spastic colon like I do?"

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"Hey. Look at that button over there by your right hand. Looks like a big cherry Life Saver."

SCOTTY:"Aye. And a shame, what with me diabetes."

 

[Nerys Myk]

BURTON: Sorry man. I hear the part went to Ledger.

 

[cooleddie74]

SCOTTY:"I wish I bloody knew how to quit you, lad."

 

[Turd Ferguson]

Kirk and Scotty shared a laugh at Decker's expense when Kirk revealed he only promoted Decker just to demote him to get back at his father for being a douche.

"HAHAHAHA! Carrot Top humor! I LOVE IT! WEEEEEE!"

"Bill, I haven't told anyone this yet. My next directorial project will be the pinnacle of motion picture history. A magnum opus of such genius, any film made afterward will look like it were made in the dark ages. I call this ingenious work, 'Three Men and a Baby.'"

 

[Gertch]

Scotty: "Oh no sir, we're out of power and we're gonna burn up in the atmosphere!"
Kirk: "You're a sick man Scotty, a sick man."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Thanks for the win!

Behind-the-scenes of Star Trek: The Motion Picture:

Shatner: Jimmy, you crack me up. The cast hates me (laughter)...
Doohan: Yeah pretty funny, you bloated egotistical shit... I mean shat... Shatner.

Behind-the-scenes of Star Trek V: The Final Frontier:

Shatner: ...then Doohan told me the cast hated my guts back when we shot the first one. Isn't that just a riot?
Nimoy: Yeah, Bill, great stuff... you dumbass.

Behind-the-scenes of Star Trek: Generations

Spiner: Can you believe that fat ass Shatner still doesn't believe that the cast hated him?
Burton: Who said we liked you any better, scene-stealing ham.

-or-

Nimoy: You, Doohan and Nichelle in the shot... you're gonna need a bigger camera.

 

[Candlelight]

Scotty: "...and then he fell down the stairs - right in front the admiral! But seriously, I think my nephew will be a fine cadet. He might even get assigned aboard the Enterprise one day. How's your son doing?"

Kirk: "What, David? He's fine, got himself a nice cushy science job on some top secret experiment. He'll probably settle down soon, get married, start a family."

Picard: "Those poor bastards. If only they knew what was going to happen. Anyway Mr Data, what were you saying about my brother and nephew?"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Picard: Data, quit channel surfing, we're missing Celebrity Fit Club!
Data (off-screen): But sir, this is Celebrity Fit Club.
Picard: Oh... it really does work, like how thin Doohan is now.

 

[Triskelion]

Thanks for the win Rat Boy!! You should have won with Sulu's "No" caption! ROFLOL!!!

And then he said, "You are, and always shall be, my friend."
What a wanker!

Damn - and that was before she found the holographic strap on???

Thanks for the hair budget, Lennie. I mean, a bald captain. What kind of a loser would I have to be!

Increase magnification twenty percent. I want a good long look at that anomaly!

 

[Starpaul20]

Tigh: Come on, Kirk, doesn't this frakin' thing go any faster!?

 

[Rat Boy]

Tigh: For Gods' sake, Kirk! Will you stop frakkin' off to your ship? It's disgusting!"

 

[cooleddie74]

SCOTTY:"Aye.

The Naked EPS Power Tap incident. Who can forget.

Lieutenant Leslie...he was a good lad."

"Say what you will, Geordi...but I love seeing watermelons get smashed by a giant oversized wooden mallet!"

LEONARD NIMOY

Actor

Director

Producer

Photographer


Autoerotic Asphyxiation Addict