Movie Caption Contest #53: Stand-Up Act

[Turd Ferguson]

"I have half a mind to take this walkie-talkie and tell Shatner that I don't care if he IS making twice as much money as I am and IS getting first billing, and that I may BE eleven years older than him, at least I grow my OWN damn hair and DON'T need a crappy hairpiece... shit. I've had this button pressed in the whole time. Hiya Bill, howzit hangin?"

Data: Amazing, Captain. You seem to be producing a small stream of yellow liquid that is slowly raising the water temperature.

"And, have you noticed that Doohan's boobs have started to firm up?"

 

[scottydog]

"And, have you noticed that Doohan's boobs have started to firm up?"

Kirk: "Idiot. Of course they've firmed up. That's called rigamortus."

 

[Gertch]

Nimoy: "See, put Doohan's head between your fingers and go squish squish instead of flying off the handle."
Shatner: "Oooh, I like that!"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Nimoy: "See, put Doohan's head between your fingers and go squish squish instead of flying off the handle."
Shatner: "Oooh, I like that!"

Nimoy in high pitched silly voice: "I'm crushing your head, I'm crushing your head."
Shatner: "Nice... Very Canadian!"

 

[Gertch]

^ I like yours better!

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Aw shucks, well you inspired me...

 

[Gertch]

Just doing my job then.

 

[Peach Wookiee]

You guys take all the good captions!

 

[Candlelight]

"And then once you arrive at Genesis you will meet... God! Hahaha, nah I'm just joking, we're not that lame"

"God, eh...?"

 

[tharpdevenport]

Picard: "Screw the emergency floatation device, Mr. Data -- do you have any emergency under water condoms?!"

McCoy: "No, I didn't hear Jim say he hated Klingons, but I did save a lot of money by switching to Geico!"

 

[LutherSloan]

McCoy: 'Even after all these years, that Rush Limbaugh is STILL a douche!'

Patrick Stewart: 'Well I'm glad you can keep your head above water, Brent, because I doubt this movie can!'

Nimoy: Just imagine Bill, 'Captain Kirk meets God!' It's box office gold.
Shatner: I don't know Leonard....
Nimoy: Hey, who's the director here?
Shatner: Fine. What could possibly go wrong??

 

[Mistral]

"DATA! WOULD YOU GET THE F*** OUT OF THE WAY! WE have to swim and she weighs a freakin' ton! Move, you stupid ...glug."

"Captain, do you require rescuing or did you want some "alone time" down on the bottom of the lagoon?"