Movie Caption Contest #53: Stand-Up Act

[Rat Boy]

Picard: "DATA! What the hell are you doing?"

 

[cooleddie74]

"JIM! JIM!!!

I won!! I was the tenth caller!!"

DATA:"Technically, sir, the correct terminology is Mer-humanoid."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Simon Cowell (off-stage): That was the worst rendition of "Take Me Home, Kathleen" that I've ever heard. Do you expect me to believe that you actually have a talented bone in your body, Bones? I mean, really, you look like an old goof up there.

 

[Kirby]

"Hello? House of Martok? Do you have Prince Albert in a can?"

Picard: "Thank god for all of Commander Riker's Baywatch holodeck programs. Her nipples are even erect, this is great!"

Nimoy: "Ok Bill, just one more time... Hey Doohan, high five. Oops, sorry!"
Shatner: "hee hee hee hee"

 

[S'kai]

"Actually, Jim, you might find the new anal diagnostic probe a rather pleasant experience."

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "Whoever put 'Don't Stop Believin' as my ringtone just earned themselves a mint julep."

 

[Triskelion]

He said he was gonna barbecue my ass in molasses.

Massachusetts Slim: And that's when the Bandit will peel out and escape, and the sheriff will hit Junior with his ten gallon hat.
Shat: Genius!

Quite all right, Data, I'll just hang on to her flotation devices.

 

[scottydog]

Data: "I am sorry, sir. In the 100m babe-swim competition, Michael Phelps takes the gold."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

McCoy: "You know that five minutes ago I said that I really needed to go to the bathroom? Well, don't bother..."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Hey Jim!

You gotta hear this...it's the Shep Pettibone Remix of our theme song!"

GAME:

Can you pick which one's the shittier director? I'll give you ten seconds, children...

"Thank you, Mister Data...but I'm afraid she comes with her own chest pontoons."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

McCoy: A Klingon, a Vulcan and a Tribble walk into a bar... oh, you've heard that one. Okay, take my Spock... PLEASE!

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY: Breaker, breaker. This is the Ol' Country Doc coming at you from the the Big E...

 

[scottydog]

McCoy: "God, I just love shish-kebobbing my stool sample!"

 

[Gertch]

"These Klingon electric tooth brushes do a great job - see?"

 

[Candlelight]

"Why won't any of you lsten to me?!? There's a giant McCoy around here somewhere! Don't you understand?!?! HE'LL KILL US ALL!!!"

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

http://i200.photobucket.com/albums/aa155/Wesson_album/standupact1pj1.jpg

McCoy: It's all part of the plan.


http://i200.photobucket.com/albums/aa155/Wesson_album/standupact2lm7.jpg

Data: In the event of a mediocre film, my ass end can be used as the ass end of a joke.

http://i200.photobucket.com/albums/aa155/Wesson_album/standupactextralt6.jpg

Nimoy: And that's when the giant mecha-tribble will fire its eye-missiles at you through the viewscreen!

Shatner: Yeah, mecha tribble. Sounds... great.

 

[Nerys Myk]

McCoy: It's all part of the plan.

Data: In the event of a mediocre film, my ass end can be used as the ass end of a joke.

Nimoy: And that's when the giant mecha-tribble will fire its eye-missiles at you through the viewscreen!

Shatner: Yeah, mecha tribble. Sounds... great.

There ya go

 

[Triskelion]

...and that's when you say, "Second star to the right, and straight on to Jersey!"

But sir, bass are the only fish indigenous to this lake. How could you catch a red snapper?

Klingon Judge: Do the human vermin have anything to say before i pass judgment!
McCoy: Mmmbop, shoobah shoobah mmmbop....

 

[cooleddie74]

"Hey, Jim-Boy...this here's the Rubber Doc...10-40 and Warp Fvie good buddy...I'm about to put the hammer down!"

NIMOY:"Smile, Bill!

You're on HAIR CLUB FOR MEN CAMERA!"

ANIJ:"Wh...why...why did the water just get a lot warmer?!"

 

[Candlelight]

"And then Bill, you go to warp, like some kind of rocketman"

"Rocketman... yeah..."