Movie Caption Contest #53: Stand-Up Act

[Rat Boy]

Time to put out the fire and make sure everything's locked up in the bear locker; another caption contest has come and gone. Last week, we had more blowing jokes than I thought possible and the second consecutive week of Vomit. This past weeks winners include:

Sulu: "I'd never noticed before, but you really do have a pretty mouth."

Chekov: "Oh, shit."

Cochrane: Do they all have to do that?
LaForge: It's just a little hero worship, doc.
Cochrane: No, not that, they keep asking to see my pig. What's that all about? I don't have a pig. Your history is all screwed up.

Now begone from our mountain or we shall lob Pierre at you!

Photoshop award:

And the return of the Multi-Pic Caption Award with a tie:

Frakes: "Quiet on the set! Cue funky music! And five, six, seven eight..."

"... This is the dawning of The Age of Argelius. The Age of Argelius..."

Cromwell: "Damn! I knew I NEVER should've agreed to do Star Trek's remake of 'Hair'..."

Takei: "It's Frakes on the phone again! Keep blowing, Walter! I don't want him to find us or we'll have to do "Let The Sunshine In" in Klingon!

Chekov describes to Uhura what Sulu did to him in the woods last night.

Zefram Cochrane, still trying to get over what he saw Sulu do to Chekov in the woods.

These guys got the view from above. Dude on the right's gonna upload the video to YouTube tonight.

Congratulations, everyone. Here's the updated winners list:

Nerys Myk (Hall of Fame) 29
Year of Hell (Hall of Fame) 23
cooleddie74 (Hall of Fame) 21
Gertch 16
The Laughing Vulcan 14
Outpost4 13
Shatmandu 13
scottydog 9
Nebusj 9
BriGuy 9
EliyahuQeoni 9
Kegek 8
Diesel Micky Dolenz 8
cultcross 7
zephramac 7
Turd Ferguson 7
DS9Sega 6
Tharpdevenport 6
Triskelion 6
John_Picard 5
SciFi75 5
CaptainJon 4
Haggis and Tatties 4
Skywalker 4
The Cutest of Borg 4
NCC-1701 4
Defcon 4
middyseafort 4
Kirby 4
Sisu 3
David_Leese 3
Finn 3
archerguy1701 3
LeadHead 3
Starpaul20 3
ancient 3
chancellorjake 3
jptrekker 3
J. Allen 2
Arthur Frelling Dent 2
SeerSGB 2
Lloyd_Dobbler 2
Peach Wookie 2
nil_jones 2
OphaClyde 2
Bad Atom 2
cardinal biggles 1
Vasquez Rocks 1
Valin 1
Nathan_Heller 1
Guartho 1
Alyssa 1
A beaker full of death 1
rmkwebdesign 1
Starlock 1
Redshirts Widow 1
Admiral Garak 1
Broccoli 1
Mister.Woof 1
The Squire of Gothos 1
A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees 1
battrekker 1
DrBob 1
Sector7 1
USS Mariner 1
hmbnimbus 1
S'Kai 1
H F Mudd 1
dukesman 1
Fire 1
Super Grover 1

This week, we see our heroes attempting to make us laugh and sadly failing miserably. The bonus pick is a lighter moment from the set of Star Trek III, probably when Shatner suggested that he could direct a movie. Enjoy:

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "Wait, wait! Have you guys heard about the man from Nantucket?"

Klingons: "KILL HIM!"

Picard: "Excellent, Data, excellent! That synchronized swimming gold medal is as good as ours!"

Nimoy: "Think of it, Bill. Right above the marquee: 'Leonard Nimoy's Star Trek III.'"

Shatner: "Like hell."

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "I can actually hear him now!"

Data: "Does this flotation device make my posterior look morbidly obese?"

Shatner: "I don't know, Leonard. I'm feeling a little nervous about this scene."

Nimoy: "All right, then try this. Picture the Klingons naked."

 

[Nerys Myk]

CASEY CASEM (over radio): This long distance dedication goes out from Natira to Len....

 

[cooleddie74]

"JIM!

Listen! I'm gettin' Stan Freeberg on this thing!"

DATA:"Is this the part where I make the surrounding water warmer, Captain?"

Nimoy fell for Bill's BLOOPERS & PRACTICAL JOKES stunt...but got even two weeks later when Dick Clark found Ed McMahon's severed earlobe in his clam chowder.

 

[cooleddie74]

VERIZON SUBSPACE

We never stop creating awkward Klingon legal predicaments...for you.(TM)

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

McCoy: "That Howard Stern and George Takei, they kill me."

Picard: "Data, what are you doing?"
Data: "The water is making her nipples stand out, I do believe an erection is the appropriate response."

Nimoy: "Picture the Oscar Bill, just see it in front of you, glistening in the glow of the limelight. Can you see it Bill?"

Shatner: "I can see it Len, I can see it. I can almost touch it."

Nimoy: "Good, now all you have to do is say 'You Klingon bastard, you killed my son', and for Pete's sake, don't be an ass and fall out of your chair."

Shatner: "Got it!"

 

[cooleddie74]

"You were right, Jim.

A premium suscription to Sirius WAS worth it! That Ba Ba Booey guy's great!"

PICARD:"Now...YOU spread her legs, Mister Data...

I'll dive down and grab a starfish!"

THE SEARS HOLOPORTRAIT STUDIO

Because shipboard memories should last at least one cycle of the planet Meridian.(TM)

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: That's a catchy tune you're humming.

 

[cooleddie74]

PICARD:"What the bloody hell do the beneficiaries of my WILL have to do with anything at this moment, Mister Data?!"

 

[cooleddie74]

"Hey, Jim!!

You gotta hear this!! Mancow just called Howard a douchebag!"

 

[scottydog]

McCoy: "What mushroom cloud? All I did was push the button on this detinator."

Picard: "Screw Vash. There are other fish in the sea."

 

[Candlelight]

Seconds later McCoy regretted his decision to brush his teeth on the communicator.

"Data! I think one of the Sona shot me! You'd better get me a sturgeon."

"Right in this scene Bill we're escaping from spacedock"
"Right... so I can fall of my chair?"
"Bill, would you let it go? Now, the enterprise will be slowly heading towards the space doors you can see on the vew screen-"
"At which point we hit them, and I fall off my chair"
"NO! Then you get through the doors but the Excelsior is close behind-"
"We get hit by torpedos and I fall off my chair"
"Bill, for shit's sake, you're not falling off your chair!"
"Just once?"
*sigh*
"Fine... but no 'blowing up the ship' adlib, we can't afford the budget."

 

[Rat Boy]

Data: "Yes, I have a propeller shoved up my ass. Why are you giving me that look?"

 

[Gertch]

Already a bumper crop! I'm laughing out loud at these!

"Oh my favorite song..."

They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa.
To the happy home. With trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes and they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!!

"I am sorry sir but I cannot support a falsehood. Madam, it is not true you will sink if he takes his fingers out."

"Bill, look. Wave to the nice Trekbbs people."

 

[Candlelight]

"THERE... ARE... FOUR... FINGERS!"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

McCoy: Now for my rendition of "Take me home, Kathleen."

Data: Captain, this attempt to rape another TOS movie is going overboard.
Picard: Shut up, Data and help me with this humpback whale... um, I mean.. what the hell is your name?

Nimoy: As you can see, Bill, this is the contract that says you get whatever I get. So, you'll get a movie of your own to direct.
Shatner: The next one?
Nimoy: I hope not.

 

[Turd Ferguson]

"Captain, that was NOT my manual inflation nozzle."

 

[Nerys Myk]

NIMOY: So we go into to time warp And everyone's heads start morphing into one another. The SFX guys tell me its gonna be great.

SHATNER: yeah, Len....great.

 

[Triskelion]

Nimoy: Dammit, there goes the shoot. DeForest's gone hippie again.

Ah, I see my biting of the Baby Ruth bar had the intended humorous effect.
Yes, Data, except - that wasn't a Baby Ruth.

And then, Bill, is when the singing mushrooms turn into Klingons!
Great idea, Slim. So...do you think Spock is coming in any time this week?