Movie Caption Contest #231: Romantic Maneuvers

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone! It's been a great contest, but now it's time for a new one!

First up to the plate, we have the "Class Action RedShirt Suit" Award, going to:

Reporter: Captain Kirk, how do you respond to the class action lawsuit being brought against you and Starfleet by the families of 78 of your former security personnel?

The remaining two images had so many great entries that I decided on 2 winners for each one.

The "Soooo how do we get her down from there?" Award, going to:

RIKER: Well...that happened. Wait, where's Troi?
WORF: Uhhh...

The "Just a coat of paint and it'll all be okay.... right?" Award, going to:

Riker: "OK Deanna, just put it in reverse, we'll leave a note on the windscreen of the planet you just hit. I'm sure the Enterprise isn't as damaged as you think."
Worf: "Is that a warp nacelle?"

This image also has two winners, we will start with the "Maybe it's time for a Bluetooth Communicator" Award, going to:

Kirk: "Well...yes, he is 'wearing that prissy ascot again.' He's also standing right beside me and he can hear you."

The "Secrets of The Voyage Home" Award, going to:

KIRK: I need a destructive probe than can only communicate with an extinct species in Earth orbit in two days.

Don't ask why, just set it up!!!!

Kirk: "The Kobayashi Maru has set sail for the promised land. And hold the mayo."

Many thanks to all of our participants and congratulations to our winners!

And now, our tribute to romance in caption contest form!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Troi: You know that Worf and I are together again, right?

Anij: Why did you shove me in?

Picard: The only way I could swim in after you!

Kirk: Hey, come on! I thought that sleazy pizza joint would be perfect! Where are you going?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Anij: Those aren't for flotation, Jean-Luc!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

TFTW, LeadHead!

Anij: "This is so embarrassing. You can see right through my clothing when it's wet!"
Picard: "Don't worry. My people are so much more enlightened and advanced than anyone else that we're no longer titillated by such things."

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: When will I see you again?

GILLIAN: Call me.

KIRK: I don't even have your telephone number

Gillian punches the accelerator and speeds off.

Anji was trying the backstroke, but Picard was trying for a breaststroke.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Kirk: Gillian, are you sure this isn't time for a...

(puts on sunglasses)

...pickup line?

YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

 

[Valin]

Riker: "That was the best happy ending I've ever had!"

Picard (thinking): "Not only does this planet make me feel like a teenager, I'm even having a wet dream ."

Kirk: "Come on. I promise I won't do that hole-at-the-botton-of-the-pizza-box trick ever again."

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Picard: Care for a bit of motorboating, Anij?

Anij: I'd love to, Jean-Luc. But the boat's tied up at the dock over there.

Picard: Not that kind.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Riker: "I am so glad I decided to drop in on you! I've really been missing you, Imzadi!"
Troi: "Nice and comfy, are we?"
Riker: "Oh, yes! Feels just like old times!"
Troi: "Well, don't get too comfy. My date should be arriving any minute now."

 

[Peach Wookiee]

Will: I just had sex... and it felt so good....
Deanna: Imzadi, sing Akon and Lonely Island again and I'll set my phaser to castrate.

 

[Triskelion]

Troi: Will, I'm going to tell you what I told Mister Barclay. You have to wait thirty minutes after eating before you go snorkeling.

Will: Heh heh heh - what?

Anij: Why is the water warm in this one spot?

Picard: I called Number One for a beamout.

Gillian: Ass, gas or grass, nobody rides for free.

Kirk: How about once around a methane nebula?

 

[shivkala]

Troi: Really, Will? Peaches and Herb? Aren't you being a bit presumptuous?

Donna Murphy: Damn my agent! When she sold me on this movie by telling me I'd have a scene in a lake with Patrick S. that would rival Dirty Dancing, I had a different scenario in mind!

It was only later that the realization would hit Kirk that he was *thisclose* to bedding Dr. Taylor, until he told her that he was having a "Whale of a time" and invited her to see his "Moby Dick."

 

[TommyR01D]

Janeway: (Offscreen) What the hell are you doing in my Ready Room?!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Gillian: "Why didn't your friend Spock want to go to dinner with us?"
Kirk: "To be honest, I don't think he realized it was your vehicle that was emitting noxious gases."

 

[Nerys Myk]

GILLIAN: Yo, Spaceman. First time carrying a pizza box?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kirk: "I'm really sorry about the...misunderstanding."
Gillian (curtly): "You mean getting grabby?"
Kirk: "It's just that...in the future, our historical records indicate that women in this time period were...very sexually open."
Gillian (rolls eyes): "Again with the time travel crap."
Kirk: "So...when you said you called your vehicle your 'pickup truck'..."
Gillian: "Oh, brother!"

 

[Maurice]

TROI: Smug, are we?
RIKER: Always.

PATRICK: I'm afraid you're all wet, Anij. <waits> But that always got a laugh in rehearsal!

A moment later Gillian would discover that her AAA would not cover collisions with "invisible spaceships".

 

[Triskelion]

Riker: The Doctor cleared me of all sexual afflictions.
Troi: So that's why she billed me for a new microscope.

Picard: Your inflatable bra has saved us! Hooray! Aaaawwww.

Kirk: I like a woman who can handle a stick.
Gillian: Hope you like baling hay.

 

[Vassa]

Thanks for the win!

Troi: That's a beard I see, so the answer is still no...

Thankfully Anji's blindness was only temporary.

Gillian: You've brought me to a foggy park in the middle of the night. 'Creepy ass-hole' is precisely the color metaphor I was looking for.

 

[Turd Ferguson]

"So, when I said 'what I need I can't get from Dr. Crusher,' I didn't mean sex. I know you've got some vicodin stashed around here somewhere."

"Quickly, Mr. Data, it looks like we're going to need the water wings."

"No, you're doing it wrong. If you want to speed off from me in anger, it helps if you have it in 'drive.'"