Movie Caption Contest #201: "Shenanigans Part 1"

[Mr Silver]

Hey folks, first of all I'm going to induct a couple of people into the Caption Contest Hall Of Fame, then we'll get the regular winners out of the way. The CC Hall Of Fame means nothing special, but if you like you can put it into your signature you are a member (that is if I've selected your entry, no cheating! ).

First up, the king of Freudian slips and in honour of his service to the caption contest, I induct...

Kirk: "Now look, Mr. Pecker..."

Decker: "It's Decker, sir."

Kirk: "Right. Now look, Dick...er...Will...I know this transition will be hard on...er...difficult for all of us. If you'll excuse me, I need to go find Boner...er...Bones."

Yeoman Badonkadonk (thinking): Thank God he didn't make any jokes about the junk in my trunk.

And for a constant stream of laugh out loud captions and dry logic, I induct...

NICHOLS: There's gotta me more to this than Porn and Star Trek.

SCOTTY & McCOY: Nope

Well done to the first two inductees of this Hall of Fame. Remember, it's not just based on the entry that is used for the induction, getting is about dedication, humour and effort...Well maybe not so much, but keep posting your entries and soon you could be in the meaningless CC Hall of Fame! Now onto...

First up, the Gene Shalit award goes to...

Decker: Admiral, an emergency situation will arise within the next twenty minutes.

For bringing the Frasier out in Bateson...

Bateson: I like the look of your establishment, Picard. I'd like rooms for all of my crewmen. Tell me, do you offer a complementary breakfast?
Picard: For the last time, this is not a hotel!

Because even Starfleet captain's fail to keep standards...

Ensign: "Sir, someone is stealing the Enterprise"
Styles: "Forget it, I'm still doing my nails"
Ensign: "Sir-"
Styles: "Has anyone seen my riding crop?"

Well done to all the winners, this week...

Decker regrets those botox treatments when a raise of one eyebrow could have won over Kirk...

Kirk, Spock and McCoy have a little too much of that secret ingredient...

And Riker realises that vindaloo wasn't the best choice of meal before battle...

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Decker: "The mains would have failed and your fat ass would be plastered across the side of an asteroid.

...this is off the record, right?"

Kirk: "Spock, you incinerated Sulu!"

Spock: "Whoops?"

Riker: "Photon torpedo... isn't that the universal message for a left turn signal failure?"

 

[Ziriath]

SPOCK: Cant fly higher, I'm running out of gas- gimme more bourbon and beans!

 

[Ziriath]

BONES: Dammit Spock! If Vulcans are vegetarians, you must have eaten a whole forest!

 

[Finn]

Dorn: (OS) Why the clean shaven face?

Frakes: Berman asked me about playing Season 1 Riker for an Enterprise episode. People would think they actually taped it back in 1987, right?

Dorn: *Hesitates* ....Yeah, Jonathan.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Thanks for the Hall of Fame nod. I am honored

SPOCK: I believe the spider is moving away.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Frakes: Do I really look that old without the beard?

 

[Nerys Myk]

DECKER: Look, if this is about that unresolved sexual tension between us....

RIKER (thinking): Weird, I figured once I shaved the beard folks would start calling me "Babyface" again.

 

[inflatabledalek]

Decker: Unlike the choice of picture for the last contest, you really can't see my immense personality this time. Which kind of sucks for me as it means people will be looking at my face instead.

Bones: My God Jim, look at the size of Decker's...
Kirk: Look at the face! Look at the face!

Frakes: Damn, I don't even have to take my socks off to count my lines in this one.

 

[LeadHead]

Decker: You haven't logged a single star hour in 2 and a half years-

Kirk: Not if you've read the Lost Era book series.

Kirk: Spock, boost the rockets.

Spock: If I activate them now Captain, the numbers of the decks will make no sense whatsoever!

Burton: (off screen) CUT! Jonathan, just because you're directing doesn't mean you can drop the F Bomb!

 

[Finn]

Decker: Unlike the choice of picture for the last contest, you really can't see my immense personality this time. Which kind of sucks for me as it means people will be looking at my face instead.

Kirk: Same here, instead of looking at my magnificent bald spot.

 

[Candlelight]

So... what happened to the original Hall of Fame that Rat Boy made? Has that gone the way of the Dodo...?

Decker: "Please don't make me say 'star hour'. It's a term that'll never get used again in the history of Star Trek."

Kirk: "I've had enough of that astral-attitude, mister Decker."

Decker: "Yeah, and that one too."

Kirk: "Spock, fire the rockets."

*Spock adjusts knob on belt, pants fall off*

Spock: "Shit, Captain"

Riker suddenly had a shocking thought; now that his beard was gone, everyone could see his ass chin again.

And ass forehead.

 

[LeadHead]

Decker: You're cute when you're angry.

Spock: No, Doctor. That is not the secondary Rocket control.

Riker: Red Alert!

(pause)

Riker: What happened?

La Forge: This is a movie, unlike in the tv series, "Red Alert" doesn't signal a commercial break.

 

[BriGuy]

Riker: Ah, at last. Good thing it was silent.

 

[BriGuy]

Director: What the hell, Frakes! Why did you get forehead prosthetics from makeup??? You're on the call sheet for Riker - Riker - he's human, remember?

Assisant: whisper whisper mutter mutter

Director: oh... shit... Sorry, Frakes. Action!

 

[Nerys Myk]

also starring William Devane as Will Riker

 

[Rat Boy]

Worf: "Who's forehead looks like a fanny now, jackass?!"

 

[LeadHead]

Riker: (thinking) Leave it to Picard to go on an Away mission right after I put a sharp spike on his chair.

 

[Nerys Myk]

DECKER: By the way, I'm your real dad.

 

[BriGuy]

DECKER: By the way, I'm your real dad.

Riker: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!