Movie Caption Contest #19: Ask A Stupid Question

[Rat Boy]

What hath I wrought? Once again, this contest has boldly gone where no one has gone before, from the depths of depravity to the heights of hilarity. Let's get to the winners, of which there were many. First, the regular pictures:

christingle said:

Kirk: Sulu!... You're not doing anything inappropriate!
Sulu: Well, it is a PG-13 contest, sir.

Arthur Frelling Dent said:

Fortunately, Kirk and Sulu arrived just in time to save McCoy from the unwanted advances of Federation Senator Craig in the Starbase 7 restroom.

He Sees-u said:

McCoy and Kirk saw that Mr Sulu's "Kobayashi Maru" had set forth for the promised land.

Turkey and Tatties said:

Kirk: "Sulu!!!, firstly its Dr McCoy who has Spock's Katra, and secondly that's not how we intended to remove it!!.

The Giggling Elf said:

Hawke: "So here we are, hanging onto the bottom of the ship by the strength of our magnetic boots..."
Picard: "I guess that makes us all... cling-ons."
Worf: "Were I not about to lose my lunch, I would kill you where you stand... cling... whatever."

Turd Ferguson said:

Worf: Ugh, I hate Earth! So many dishonorable humans! New Jersey!... wait, it's right behind me, isn't it?

zephramc said:

Hawk: This is my rifle, this is my gun. This one's for fighting, this one's for fun.

And the bonus picture:

scottyuletide said:

Uhura: Why is Richard Pryor singing "Come on baby, light my fire"??

Nerys Myk said:

Morrow: Preston, Peter Preston. Which one of you is Preston? Seems Personnel made a mistake and you were assigned to the Enterprise in error.

And the multi-pic caption:

Kegek Kringle said (photoshops by Tharpridge In A and myself:

A crossover caption can be, ah, suggestive...

...and can also become self-referential.

But not everyone finds them funny.

And finally (*phew*), the Photoshop winners. True, I did the work on the first one, but our winner came up with the best line for it:

BriGuy said:

Because of Dr. McCoy's stubborn refusal to stay sober, Admiral Kirk had to resort to using a life-size cutout so children taking tours of Starfleet Headquarters could get their picture taken.

Tharpridge In A said:

Picard: "Wait a second ... this isn't the dorsal side of the ship. We really are a bunch of Trekballs, you know that?"

Congratulations, everyone. Now take a deep breath before we go on. This week's pics remind us to be careful what you ask, for you may not like the answer:

And finally, in the spirit of the holidays, a bonus pic:

Have fun and happy holidays.

 

[Rat Boy]

Lady: "No, I don't want to join the Church of Intergalactism."

Commander Riker had to shepherd Data through his first time using his new bowel movement subroutine.

Picard: "Great, kids have their fun and expect dad to clean up the mess. Some fantasy."

 

[tharpdevenport]

I should get a co-win for making the Sulu rammning Picard one.

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

"I said, 'can you tell us where to buy a wibrator?'"

"See, Data, that's why I'm Number One. Number Two can be a real pain in the ass."

Johnny was extra good this year. Santa brought him his own starship captain.

 

[scottydog]

Riker: "Sorry, Tasha's orders. She said you needed a circumcision."

 

[Gertch]

Chekov: "Vats dat mean, Santa Claus is a black woman?"

"Computer, two gerbils."

 

[scottydog]

Chekov: "You are correct, Uhura. Dis truly is Michael Jackson!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Picard: "Where's my damn pony? Clause, you hack!"

 

[Haggis and tatties]

NN: "We promise you Shatner will be locked in his dressing room for the rest of the day, so please just come back and finish the scene".

Riker: Please.....Please.....pretty Please.....PLEASE....Oh go on Brent, let me direct Trek 10....I promise no more manual steering columns"

Picard:" Captain log, personal note....In future the federation planet, gay interior designers III, must not be used as a bridge refit facility.

 

[Gertch]

Picard: "Damn it Q. I said I wanted to be in a Lexus."

 

[Rat Boy]

Tharpridge In A said:
I should get a co-win for making the Sulu rammning Picard one.

Done.

Chekov: "Do you know the vay to San Jose?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

Chekov: "Vud... you... liyk... a... treesom?"

Uhura: "It's San Francisco, Maybe I should ask..."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Uhura: "He says he penis is 'this long'."

One of these things just doesn't belong, can you...

Riker: "Data, how's training going with Admiral Sulu?"

Data: "AGH ... I think something is wrong..."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Picard: "Computer. End program: Bordello at Christmastime."

 

[BriGuy]

Riker: Yes. Yes. Cry for me, you synthetic bitch. I can bottle your tears and sell them as warp injector lubricant to the Pakleds.

So this is Christmas, and what have you done...
Oh, just allowed your ship to be blown up, and every living being on it and within a solar system to be killed... otherwise, not much.

 

[Kirby]

The ending of Christmas Story 2387: Little Johnny got his life-size audio-anamatronic Captain Picard for Christmas even though everyone told him that it would "talk your ear off, kid"

 

[Rat Boy]

Picard: "Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse."

 

[BriGuy]

Anything. Any where. Any time. I could have anything I ever wanted. And this is the best I can come up with?

 

[Nerys Myk]

Picard: "Stupid Nexus... I'm JEWISH!!!!!"

 

[archeryguy1701]

Riker gave Data a playful kick in the crotch, not realizing there was actually something down there to break.