Movie Caption Contest #162: Crisis Management

[Rat Boy]

Oh, forgive, but time it is for caption contest new. Let's close the book on the old one by celebrating...

This threesome was definitely good for them...

SAAVIK: Its too full. It will never close.

DAVID: Maybe if you didnt pack everything you own to go on a two week vacation!

David: And what the hell is this??
Saavik: It's my industrial strength hair dryer, and I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT IT!

David: Why?

Saavik: It's also my hair curler, you think my hair stays like this on its own?

It only took three and a half years, but Grignak's finally catching on to the joke...

Grignak: What the hell is a 'fish-looking coffee asswipe', anyway?

And I guess Sarek isn't a fan of McCoy, either...

Uhura: Ambassador, Spock's body is somehow alive. They are bringing him here to Mount Seleya.

Sarek: Are they out of their minds? Get him to a Freaking Hospital!!

Congratulations to the winners. This week, the president and Cartwright get the sports bar set up for Sunday, Spock deals with a plastered Scotty, and McCoy asks what the heck a co-payment is. Have at:

 

[Rat Boy]

Cartwright: "How about some more coffee?"

Johnny: "No thanks!"

Scotty: "Suh, I searched up and down the entire Napa Valley and couldn'a find no whales. *hic*"

Spock: "Maybe next time I'll hand out team assignments."

Old lady: "It's time for my sponge bath, darling."

McCoy: "NURSE!"

 

[bullethead]

Technician: Sir, according to the horoscope display, Kirk will save the day in a Klingon Bird of Prey.
Cartwright: That'll be the day.

Spock was most displeased to learn that the replicators only produced haggis.

McCoy: NURSE! This woman is faking her symptoms. Get her out of here!

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Com Operator: Sir! A long-lost relative of yours says he needs your bank account so he can transfer over 50 billion credits in your account!

Cartwright: Really?! Okay... 51-28568-10.

Doohan: The smug sonuvabitch stole my lines again.
Nimoy: You and Takei are a bunch of broken records.

Old Lady: Is that a kidney under your scrubs or are you happy to see me?
McCoy: JIM!!!

 

[LeadHead]

Cartwright: Commander, what's my horoscope say?

Commander: Avoid interactions with Klingons.

Scotty: It's going slowly Sir, it'll be well into Tomorrow.

Kirk: (over comm) Not good enough Mister Scott, we've gotta get outta here before we bring any unwanted hitchhikers back to the 23rd century.

 

[Candlelight]

President: "Ha... probe..."

Spock: "Mr Scott, if you would be as so kind as to not tell the Captain... turns out it isn't Humpback Whales after all... we should be hunting three-toed sloths instead."

McCoy: "Quick, I need the men's room. Scotty's chilli from last night is coming back to haunt me."
Old Lady: "I don't think there is one on this floor-"
McCoy: "IT'S LIKE THE FUCKING DARK AGES!!"

 

[cooleddie74]

PRESIDENT: There's still a Leningrad?!

CARTWRIGHT: The temporal scientists were right all along...history WAS changed in the year 2233!!

PRESIDENT: Damned bloody Romulans!!

SPOCK: Just one more second of adjustments, Mister Scott.

There.

Your karaoke machine is ready for use.

DIALYSIS LADY: I always loved you when you guest-starred on BONANZA, young man.

 

[cooleddie74]

PRESIDENT: Status?

CARTWRIGHT: The probe has disabled everything in this system with the exception of planetside facilities and bases.

PRESIDENT: What about my wife?

CARTWRIGHT: Bad in bed.

OH...you...you mean something ELSE.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

McCoy: "Well, if that's your attitude, Dr. House, then go yourself!"

 

[Aragorn]

McCoy: "Jim, the probe isn't trying to contact whales! It wants her -- the 'I've fallen and I can't get up' lady!"

 

[Candlelight]

McCoy: "Jim, the probe isn't trying to contact whales! It wants her -- the 'I've fallen and I can't get up' lady!"

Old Lady: "Where's the beef?"
McCoy: "Too late, I've already pigeon-holed you."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Cartwright: Commander, I don't think trying to add the probe as your Facebook friend is going to stop it.

 

[Turd Ferguson]

"Mr. President! Looks like you're in luck for your tee off! The Federation Weather Bureau is giving sunny with light scattered clouds!"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

President: "What happened?"
Cartwright: "We lost the transmission, Mr President."
President: "Get it back! Get it back!"
Cartwright: "We're trying, sir!"
President: "Dammit. I liked Jane Weidlin!"

Spock: "One moment Mr Scott, I am almost to level 10 of Jet Set Willy."
Scott: "We had tae come back tae 1986, didnae we?"

McCoy: "Here, take one of these and call me in the morning."
Kirk: "Dammit Bones, no interfering. And you gave her a new kidney?"
McCoy: "No, but it'll freak out these dark age morons when her boobs start firming up."

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Kidney Lady: "Obamacare?"
McCoy: "Aww hell, Jim, the timeline! We've done it again!"

 

[Smellincoffee]

Cartright: Things are not going well, Mr. President. We have hits on most of our fleet, and the carrier is long sunk. Now...let's try E-4.

McCoy: The hell do you mean, "insufficient coverage"? By god, I've got a mind to take this woman with us.
Kirk: Bones --
McCoy: Dammit, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a profiteer.

 

[LeadHead]

Thanks for the wins!

Cartwright: Report on the modifications.

Commander: We modded all of our X-Box 360's, but as you can see on the monitors, Microsoft is now actively searching for them to ban us from X-Box Live.

Cartwright: Keep them off the trail as long as you can, god willing I'll get all of the Multiplayer Achievements for HALO: Reach.

Spock: Why is it that the Klingon computers know so much about Humpback Whales and nothing about why TOS Klingons didn't have ridges on their foreheads?

Old Lady: You've got to help me Doctor, take me to-

McCoy: I'm not taking you to the future!

Old Lady: Not the future, Canada! I need health care!

 

[F. King Daniel]

President: Oh my god, Cartwright, I'm in love with your TV!

Scotty: I like your bath robe, Mr Spock.

Spock: (perplexed) I...appreciate your moustache, Mr. Scott.

Scott: Your eyebrows look grand today, sir.

Spock: ...What is the reason for this...I believe it is called...boot licking?

Scott: ...I'm...goingoutwithUhuranowsorrysir.

Spock:

McCoy: So it's come to this: a Scrubs crossover

 

[LeadHead]

Scotty: What was it like being dead?

Spock: It was hell, never place your katra in the mind of Leonard McCoy.

 

[Subcommander R.]

Federation President: He's playing space invaders at a time like this?
Cartwright: Wait Mr. President! He's about to set a new high score!

Scotty: Mr. Spock, I dinnae hav' any ibuprofen in the medicine cab'net, do ye hae anything for my achin head?

Spock: Mr. Scott, your Scottishness seems to be compounded by your hangover. I am afraid I cannot assist you.

McCoy: Its not lupus.