Movie Caption Contest #161: Place You Name

[Rat Boy]

I'm not a drama critic, but I am a caption contest runner, so let's start a new one. First, let's play off...

You'd...think...Kirk....wouldbeusedtogettingteasedaboutthewayhetalks. But I guess not...

MCCOY: I need you, Jim. Badly!

KIRK (through gritted teeth): Let. It. Go. Bones.

Well, to be fair, if you ask Spock and Sarek, he wasn't really that great of a transporter operator...

Kirk: What's a matter you?

Chekov: Remember vhen I said "I can do zat. I can do zat." vith ze transporter Admiral?

Kirk: Yeah.

Chekov: Apparently I can't do zat vith ze transporter. Everybody vas waporwised.

Kirk: Oh.

Hmmmmm, I guess this means the torpedo room scenes were shot in Oakland...

Carol: "Why? I'll tell you why. Because it's easy to get excited about developing interstellar, fast-than-light transports and state-of-the-art spaceports and such, but apparently nobody gives a rat's ass about improving baggage claim operations!"

There are two signs a show's become a hit. First is when they do a parody of it on Sesame Street. Second is when it gets Photoshopped randomly into a caption contest...

Spock's death turned Don Draper into a Sad Man

Congratulations to the winners. This week, we wonder what the hell compelled David and Saavik to open Spock's casket even though they were expecting an irradiated corpse to be in there. Next, well, look who's back. And finally, Sarek wonders why out of all the senior officers, Kirk had to send Uhura. Have at:

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "Hey, can't a guy masturbate in his own coffin in peace?"

Grignak's reaction to the above caption.

Uhura: "Ambassador? Are you listening? I said they requested permission to land."

Sarek: "Sorry."

Sarek (thinking): Now I see what Spock saw in her. Dayum!

 

[cooleddie74]

DAVID: He was buried with a SOMBRERO?!

SAAVIK: Starfleet regulations.

GRIGNAK: Is caption ridiculous!

Is sombrero reference FORBIDDEN!!

SAREK: My condolences on the loss of your starship, Miss Uhura.

UHURA: Thank you, Ambassador. That's most kind of you.

SAREK: I've got an old 1965 Mustang up on silicon blocks if you want it.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

David: "Uh-oh! It ain't pretty in here."
Saavik: "Didn't I tell you? I told you not to speed like an idiot over those speed bumps after we went grocery shopping."

Grignak: "Coffee related caption you make, bitch slap I deliver. One warning is all you get."

Sarek: "Apparently you were for a time in a relationship with my son?"
Uhura: "In another reality..."
Sarek: "Perhaps you would care to sample some superior Vulcan logic."
Uhura: "What!"
Sarek: "The needs of the father outweigh the needs of the son."

 

[cooleddie74]

DAVID: So the urban legends WERE true!!

He WAS buried in a Neil Young tee-shirt!!

He wasn't just hit with the Ugly Stick.

He married its momma, banged her and got a rash.

SAREK: It appears your starship has been lost.

UHURA: OH NO!!! What about Admiral Kirk and my other friends?!

SAREK: They didn't say. Someone else had to use the phone halfway through the call.

 

[Mr Silver]

Ladies and Gentleman, I present to you Star Trek III: The Search For Spock (the JJ Abrams cut)

Quark: "Didn't first contact occur in 2364?"

Uhura: "Its ok we've got our Spock back now, you can return to your Universe and finish ruining the Empire in time for NuDS9

Mirror Spock: "Since my usual greeting, would seem oddly self serving, I will leave you with this..."Tune into Alcatrazz on Fox!"

The "Outtake" not included on the upcoming TSFS 30th anniversary DVD

Merritt Buttrick: "I still don't agree with the whole Kirk's son is rubbish in a fight scene later on

Robin Curtis: "Well at least you don't have to come back for the sequel and be coldly treated by the two leads, after all you've done to put them back together again

Leonard Nimoy: "Anymore of that and it'll be me in the Pon Farr Scene!!!"

 

[LeadHead]

David: Whoa, Vulcans grow tentacles after they die.

Grignak: Genesis? Did you say Genesis? I'm sorry I'm deaf. Size doesn't always matter.

Sarek: Permission Granted.

Uhura: I didn't ask you for anything yet.

Sarek: Don't care, you pull phasers on people who talk too much and I don't want any part of that.

 

[Trekker4747]

Saavik: "Hey, "Maverick." It's 2285, I think you can ditch the Top Gun jacket."

"Excuse me, I seem to be a little too fey and over-made up for this production. Can you tell me where the Babylon Five set is?"

Sarek: "Aren't you supposed to be young, hot, and kissing my son?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

DAVID: Hey look, its Kirstie Alley! She was in here all along!

Saavik knocks David on the head and stuffs him into the torpedo casing.

SAAVIK (into comm): Captain, David is dead.

GRIGNAK: Did you say Genesis? Post Gabriel is music forbidden.

SAREK (thinking): I would so hit that.

 

[Peach Wookiee]

David: Wow... this coffin is where he kept his stash!

Saavik: Is that why he was so calm when the admiral acted like an idiot?

Grignak: Look like my mother married a lionfish, I do?!

Uhura: Ambassador, why are you looking at me that way?

Sarek: Perhaps, Commander, you would consent to marry my son?

Uhura: No, sir. Not in this reality.

Sarek: Perhaps in an alternate reality.

 

[BriGuy]

Sarek: Your cleavage runs deep. Share it with me.

 

[BriGuy]

Genesis? Genesis allowed is it not! And Phil Collins is forbidden!

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Sarek: Ms. Uhura, I wish to conduct empirical research on the Earth idiom: "Once you go black, you don't come back."

 

[Smellincoffee]

David: Oh, for -- the spare tire isn't even inflated! What are we supposed to do now?

Sarek never lost a staring contest -- but that was before he met Uhura.

 

[Captain Crow]

Grignak: Genesis? Super Nintendo I prefer.

 

[LeadHead]

David: Oh my god! It's Spock! He's Dead!

Saavik: You weren't really paying attention during the last movie were you?

Grignak: Genesis? I hope you don't mind flying NX class.

Sarek: You do know that Spock was dating you to get to your Roommate Gaila, right?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Sarek: "You! You've got a hell of a nerve showing up here! You'd damn well better hope T'Pring doesn't see you!"

 

[Trekker4747]

Uhura: You won that robe from Pogo's Bejeweled contest, didn't you?

 

[Subcommander R.]

David: Why is he wearing that?
Saavik: Wearing wha- damn! Who would wear a-
David: Silence! The world must never know of this.

Grignak: Just because my father was Ferengi and my mother was an Echidna doesn't mean I don't have a beautiful personality...
*sniff*

Sarek: Uhura, I am disappoint.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Grignak: What the hell is a 'fish-looking coffee asswipe', anyway?