Movie Caption Contest #157: Filmed on Location

[Rat Boy]

Hold up now, because it's time for another caption contest. First, let's discuss the bus schedule with...

Even when she's not here, our winner shows that her presence is felt...

Kirk: What?! That freaky little girl in victorian clothing was giving me a weird look!

Spock: Yes but, Captain, did you have to punch her and then take her doll?

For typecasting, our winners are...

Bob: "So, your latest heartthrob claims he's a spaceship captain from the future sent here to take George and Gracie time-travelling, eh? Jesus Christ, Gillian, where do you keep finding these guys?"

Gillian: I know, I know. Maybe my mother was right and I should just marry a reverend.

For not knowing how to blend in, our winner is...

Troi: I'm just trying to blend in.

Riker: Being a hot woman in a bar full of old men. Great plan.

And for knowing how to blend in with the likes of us, our special winner is...

Kirk: "And this is how a hand-job is done."

Bob: "And this is how a hand-job is done."

Riker: "And this is how a hand-job is done."

Congratulations to the winners. First up this week, you know the movie's going in the wrong direction when your two lead actors throw all their dignity out the window. Second, you wonder why the Baku didn't notice the extra footprints in their village a long time ago. Second, Worf braces himself for an onslaught of jokes at his expense. Enjoy:

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Up, up, and away!"

Spock: "Are you through yet, sir?"

Gallatin: "Impressive technology."

Lieutenant: "Not really, we got these screens out of a Crackerjack box."

Picard (thinking): Wait a minute, how come his hair is growing and mine isn't?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Spock: Perhaps "This is how a handjob is done" is not sufficient reason for climbing a mountain?

Guys in red suits: RUN! Before Mr. Laser Beam starts to sing!!

Worf: My boobs are starting to firm up.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: Look no wires!
Spock: Captain, I regret to inform you that there are wires and they are quite visible.

Stafleet officer in bunker: I thought cloaking tech was forbidden by the Treaty of Algeron.
His commanding officer: Shut up will yah or the canonistas might declare this movie...NON-CANON!

Worf: This may not be the time, sir, but have you ever seen a grown Klingon naked?

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "You wanted to make love to the mountain, but I think the mountain just dumped you."

 

[Maurice]

SPOCK: For the last time, Jim, you are not from the planet Krypton.

GUY IN RED 1: These suits are great! They can't see us!
BAKU GUY: What's that crunching sound, and where are those footprints coming from? It must be...a god demanding human sacrifice
GUY IN RED 2: Uh oh...

WORF: Pony tail? Ponies have no honor!

 

[mirandafave]

PICARD: How do you maintain such flowing locks Mr. Worf?
WORF: Lather, Rinse, Repeat. Always Repeat.

 

[Mr Silver]

Spock: "You did what?!?"

Kirk: "I traded A Tale Of Two Cities for some Fairy Dust"

Spock: "But that was a Birthday Present...and from me"

Kirk: "And it will be again...thats the beauty of it..."

Spock: "......"("I think i'll vouch for him at the next Ambassadors "Klingon Diplomacy" meeting")

Baku Native: "....And this is how a Handjob is done"

Closest Red Suit: "(Damn I missed the explanation!! ...Never mind i'll just wait for the next Caption Contest)

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: Wouldn't have been faster for you to have someone beam me out?

Spock: Meh, there was a better chance of me being Captain of the Enterprise again this way.

Data: Re routing.... Primary Power Distribution....

Gallatin: Aw crap, he's got Technobabble Mania. He won't make it past the next movie.

Picard: Mister Worf, we should catch up. How have things been the last few months?

Worf: Well, I was blackballed by Starfleet Intelligence for sacrificing a Cardassian Informant to save my wife, who ended up being murdered in cold blood a couple months later, the bastard who killed her is still at large, I have to work with the next host of the Dax symbiont every day, so I have the constant reminder of the tragedy. How about you?

Picard: I'm about to totally make out with Anij.

Worf: You always did have your priorities straight.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard: "Yeah, I guess the little red guys are cool, but as far as seeing through the women's clothing, this thing isn't any better than those X-Ray Specs! Damn it, this is the last time I buy anything out of the back of a comic book!"

Picard: "Why, Mr. Worf, who in the world braided your hair?"
Worf: "Bitsy. While I was sleeping. She must be destroyed!"

 

[Smellincoffee]

Kirk: Captain Kirk is falling off a moutain. Why is he falling off a moutain? He wants to make LOVE to the mountain.

Nothin' like a good game of amoeba-tag to wile away the hours during a dull duck-blind.

Picard: I don't care if you have THREE "gorches" on your nose, Mr. Worf, you may not hide in your room.

Picard: No, Mr. Worf, you may NOT take my yacht to the prom!

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Heh, thanks for the handjob, er...win...RATBOY! That's awesome!!

Kirk: I said go down ON me Spock...not down WITH me!

 

[TeaKirk]

Red Suits: Runaway!, runaway!

*Flying cow lands on the way behind Red Suit guy*

 

[Rat Boy]

Heh, thanks for the handjob, er...win...RATBOY!

Kirk: "Spock, I think I can do this bungee jumping by myself."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Thanks to cloaking technology, you never really did expect the Spanish Inquisition.

WORF: You really haven't seen Jesus Christ Superstar unless you've seen it in the orginal Klingon.

 

[LeadHead]

Spock: Congratulations, you have broken the record for free falling from El Capitan.

Gallatin: Our security forces are closing on the android.

Starfleet Lieutenant: Considering you people spend 2 hours in plastic surgery every morning, I'm surprised your people can run that fast.

Picard: Mister Worf, are we getting close to the caves?

Worf: Based on the glare from your head, we still have 1.26 kilometers.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Picard: Mister Worf, are we getting close to the caves?

Worf: Based on the glare from your head, we still have 1.26 kilometers.

DAMN! You beat me to it. I was going to say something about lens flares off of Picard's head!

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: Mister Worf, are we getting close to the caves?

Worf: Based on the glare from your head, we still have 1.26 kilometers.

DAMN! You beat me to it. I was going to say something about lens flares off of Picard's head!

Lol!

 

[TiberiusMaximus]

Picard: So I can CLEARLY not choose the bloodwine in front of me!
Worf: Truly, your intellect is dizzying.
Picard: Wait til I get going!

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Picard: So I can CLEARLY not choose the bloodwine in front of me!
Worf: Truly, your intellect is dizzying.
Picard: Wait til I get going!

Picard: "You learned this from Grand Nagus Zek, didn't you?"