Movie Caption Contest #132: Dressing Down, Dressing Up, Part 2

[Rat Boy]

Beware old country doctors bearing gifts, because it's time for another caption contest. First, let's salute...

For highlighting something that's been giving me a headache of late, our winner is...

KIRK: 2283...

McCOY: Yeah, well it takes the writers a while to figure out what fricking year all this takes place!

For covering all the bases, our winner is...

Crusher: Jean-Luc, there's something I've got to te--
Picard: I stop giving a shit about that two movies back. So you can forget about it.

Crusher: Jean-Luc, there's something I've got to te--
Picard: Yes, yes. Wesley is my son not Jack's. Now tell me should I order the bottle of the '42 or '47 for this diplomatic dinner.

Crusher: Jean-Luc, there's something I've got to tell yo--
Picard: Yes, Counselor Troi really has a penis. I already know that--first hand.

Crusher: Jean-Luc, there's something I've got to tell yo--
Picard: You can't act worth shit. Everyone knows that.

Crusher: Jean-Luc, there's something I've got to tell yo--
Picard: You're a terrible lay. Jack already told me.

And our Photoshop winner...

Picard: Almost got it...all I need now is a
Janeway Borg...WOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Congratulations to our winners. This week, we're repeating the theme (since I couldn't think of anything else). First up, we have Shatner in that very 80s track suit...well Hell, everyone's looking fairly 80s in that scene. Finally, we have Picard trying to talk Riker and Troi out of leaving by offering them the keys to the captain's yacht. Have fun:

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "I've just heard a disturbing report. Rat Boy's new fan fic series is set around this time period."

Uhura: "What's so bad about that?"

Kirk: "His captain can actually fit into his uniform!"

Sulu: *snicker*

Picard: "No, seriously, I know you were the one who upperdecked my toilet and one of these days when you least expect it..."

*makes throat slashing gesture*

 

[bullethead]

Mass Effect cosplay night wasn't all it was hyped up to be.

Picard: Good luck being married. It'll be a constant hell of nagging and unsatisfying sex until the day you die or get divorced.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

A win! Thanks, Rat Boy!

Picard: The translight behind me has a few wrinkles in it just like your blushing bride.

Picard: Be very, very quiet. I'm about to rip one on Beverly's face.

 

[Mysterion]

SHATNER: Okay, gang, the movie is being re-tooled so it'll be more popular. We're all vampires now. I'm gonna drink this blood to get things started...

TAKEI/KOENIG/NICHOLS (thinking): Crap. Wonder if my agent can still get me into those Burger King commercials...

 

[Nerys Myk]

TAKEI (thinking): Come on drink it. :

NICHOLS (thinking): Drink it you pompous ass.

KOENIG (thinking): Heh heh. Bottoms up.

SHATNER: Do I smell almonds?

 

[LeadHead]

Chekov: Keptin, wasn't that liquid blue just a few minutes ago?

Picard: I am so happy for you two.

(Turns to Crusher)

I give it 3 months.

Troi: We're planning on living with my mother for awhile.

Picard: Make that 2 weeks.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Uhura thinking: Get drunk all you want lardass, but if you even think about singing, I'll cut your balls off!

Picard: "I'm still in the Nexus aren't I?"
Riker: "What makes you say that?"
Picard: "The mountains are fluttering in the breeze."

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Kirk: "Yes it's spray on hair, there I admitted it are you happy now?"

Picard: (in assless pants) "there doc see roids"

Crusher: "Thats not the cause of you irritation Jean-Luc you have a bunch of dried TP stuck to your ass"

 

[Aragorn]

SHATNER: Cellophane flowers... of yellow and green, Towering... over... your head. Look for the girl... with the sun in... her eyes, And she's gone.

TAKEI, NICHOLS, KOENIG: Lucy in the sky with diamonds, Lucy in the sky with diamonds, Lucy in the sky with diamonds...

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kirk: "You know, you don't get to be a starship captain without knowing how to read a situation. And when someone's as interested in watching someone drink something as you three are...okay, which one of you peed in my glass?"

Picard: "Well, you two have a big night ahead of you! But you're not the only ones! I've been slipping Beverly Klingon aphrodisiacs all afternoon!"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: You know, I'm glad that shit Sulu didn't show up tonight. I'm tired of his whining about not getting a ship of his--oh, Hikaru, you made it. Happy to have you.

Sulu (under his breath): One day, you bloated sonuvabitch.

Kirk: What's the matter, Nyota? Your boyfriend die or something. Oh...wait. Sorry.

 

[LeadHead]

Shatner: George, Walter, I Hope you like those costumes, because you're stuck with them for a loooong time.

Picard: So then Crusher's husband said he was going to file for divorce, he had the papers written up the day before he- oh, maybe this isn't the best story for this occasion.

 

[Candlelight]

Shatner: "Bones, I think... I think we... I- sorry, I just can't do this, Leonard"

William Shatner, struggling to work with Deforrest's stand in - a little wooden sailboat (who incidentally would later go on to have a starring role in Master and Commander).

Picard: "Might wanna belay that toast Will, I just pissed in your glass"

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: So then Worf and I flipped for it and long story short, I'm your Best Man.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: So Sulu says you can't fit this entire wooden ship model up in there, Nyota. I got 50 credits that says you can.

 

[Maurice]

UHURA: And in the alternate timeline Spock and I are an item.
KIRK: I need a drink...

BEVERLY: It's a good thing she didn't wear white.
PICARD: P0wn3d!

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Picard: "Well, you two have a big night ahead of you! But you're not the only ones! I've been slipping Beverly Klingon aphrodisiacs all afternoon!"

Riker: "Oh that's why she and Worf have made the mountains move three times already since the reception began."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Picard: Well, commander, you should be in for a treat if Deanna still does that thing with her tongue.
Riker: Yeah, she doe--whut?!
Crusher: The Twist, and it's fantastic.

 

[Aragorn]

RIKER: Just promise me you'll edit Wesley out of the wedding video.

PICARD: As good as done. Most people won't even realize he was ever here.