Movie Caption Contest #122: Body Language

[Rat Boy]

Turn your head and cough, because it's time for another caption contest. First up, let's snap on our rubber gloves for...

For looking too hard in all the wrong places, our winner is...

SPOCK:I believe I just spotted the R2-D2 Easter Egg in this movie, Jim.

For someone a little slow on the uptake even after 15 years, our winner is...

Crusher: Captain, I must give you... a... a... medical exam right now! It can't wait! It will only take 15 minutes!

Picard: Surely Doctor it can wait. I'll be back just a soon as I...

Crusher: ...Ugh... Captain! A medical exam! On this table! Just the two of us!

Picard: I understand what a medical exam is doctor but I have crew reports that I need to finish and their's an all hands meeting that I need to prepare for...

Crusher: What I mean Captain, is I have a fever that only your hypospray can cure!

Picard: A fever you say. Well I'm no doctor. I think it be best to speak with Nurse Owawa...

Crusher: Captain... How can I make this more clear! Captain I want your photon torpedo in my Jefferies tube!

Picard: A torpedo in the Jefferies tube! Is it armed? Doctor you should have told me about this sooner! Picard to Worf...

Data: Captain I may be mistaken, but I believe she wishes to engage in sexual intercourse with you.

Geordi: Jesus, even the emotionless android figured it out before the Captain.

And for mixing one's metaphors, our winner is...

McCoy: I wouldn't worry about it Jim. The women will love it! You know what they say, don't you? That they can judge the size of a man's penis by the size of his hands.

Kirk: That's the size of his FEET you idiot!!!!!

And for the Photoshop that introduced the people (all right, one person) of New Zealand to the world of Mayberry, our winner is...

Picard: "We'll take ten liters of petrol, Mistah Goobah."

Congratulations to all our winners and here's the updated leader board:

Candlelight (Hall of Fame) 58
Nerys Myk (Hall of Fame) 54
cooleddie74 (Hall of Fame) 45
Shatmandu (Hall of Fame) 38
Gertch (Hall of Fame) 26
The Laughing Vulcan (Hall of Fame) 26
middyseafort (Hall of Fame) 23
Triskelion (Hall of Fame) 23
Outpost4 (Hall of Fame) 21
scottydog 19
Turd Ferguson 17
Alrik 15
Diesel Micky Dolenz 14
LeadHead 14
Skywalker 13
Nebusj 12
BriGuy 12
zephramc 12
DS9Sega 11
EliyahuQeoni 10
Herkimer Jitty 10
Tharpdevenport 9
Kirby 9
Kegek 8
captain crow 8
John_Picard 8
cultcross 7
TheGallifreyanSith 7
Atavachron 6
jptrekker 6
Deranged Nasat 6
Daneel 6
SciFi75 5
Finn 5
The Cutest of Borg 5
Bad Atom 5
Mistral 5
CaptainJon 4
Haggis and Tatties 4
NCC-1701 4
Defcon 4
Peach Wookie 4
Woulfe 4
Piper 4
B.J. 4
Starpaul20 4
Sisu 3
David_Leese 3
archerguy1701 3
ancient 3
chancellorjake 3
Amasov 3
SalvorHardin 3
Hartzilla2007 3
Classic Fan 3
M'Sharak 3
Civil Shadow 3
The Squire of Gothos 3
J. Allen 2
Arthur Frelling Dent 2
Lloyd_Dobbler 2
nil_jones 2
OphaClyde 2
Gagarin 2
casey 2
Redshirts Widow 2
Cky 2
thedude 2
S'Kai 2
seigezunt 2
trampledamage 2
protocida 2
BriGuy 2
26138 2
USS Bones 2
Jonas Grumby 2
cardinal biggles 1
Vasquez Rocks 1
Valin 1
Nathan_Heller 1
Guartho 1
Alyssa 1
A beaker full of death 1
rmkwebdesign 1
Starlock 1
Admiral Garak 1
Broccoli 1
Mister.Woof 1
A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees 1
battrekker 1
DrBob 1
Sector7 1
USS Mariner 1
hmbnimbus 1
H F Mudd 1
dukesman 1
Fire 1
Super Grover 1
Johnnyracefan 1
SciFi75 1
jongredic 1
Toban Kal 1
trilbymonkey 1
Will 1
Captain Mike 1
T'Boggan 1
Dimesdan 1
shivkala 1
KirkusOveractus 1
CTM 1
Emperor-Tiberius 1
Alpha_Geek 1
Zachary_Smith 1
Plum 1
3 of 11 1
jongredic 1
Super Grover 1
T'Aerwynd 1
shivkala 1
Jackson_Roykirk 1
The Badger 1
Captain Zog 1
J. Allen 1
Lashmore 1
NickRyder 1
Aragorn 1
Rat Boy 1
Tribble 1
DGCatAniSiri 1
Volpone_the_Fox 1
Yeoman Randi 1

This week, we have a couple of pictures that just happened to have been grabbed from the movie at the right time. First up, McCoy's upset that Kirk and Saavik were holding up the elevator that he intended to take to the ship's only bathroom. Finally, all those hours of practicing the "Engage" finger pointing move finally pay off for Jean-Luc Picard. Have at:

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "Whoa, plomeek! I'll take the next one."

Picard: "You there, young man, what day is it?"

Boy (off camera): "Why, it's Christmas morning, suh."

Picard: "Then fetch me the largest turkey you can find. And some wine. And a big screen TV."

 

[Peach Wookiee]

McCoy: What you're saying is you want to give her a headache this big!

Saavik (Thinking): You have got to be kidding me.

Picard: Pwned, mofo!

 

[Deranged Nasat]

"My god! We're on a direct course for Star Trek: Nemesis! Abort, helmsman, abort!"

"It's too late sir, they've already approved the script."

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Picard: "Behold! The fearsome she-demon of the spaceways, the dread star-hag itself!"

Admiral Nechayev (on viewer): "That stopped being funny the first time, Jean-Luc"

Picard: "Hmmm, an interesting discovery, Ensign. Magnify image. Yes, I see the famed phenomena closely now. My god, to think we've actually located them. Let's see, one...two...three...yes, just as the reports indicated"

Draylaxian ambassador (on viewer): "May I help you?"

Ensign in background: "Sir, according to these readings, EPS efficiency is down by 22%. Computer indicates most probable cause: witchcraft."

Picard (whirling to point at Troi): "She's the witch! BURN HER!"

Troi: "Captain, these witch-hunts are getting out of hand. Dr. Crusher told you, your hair loss is the result of aging, not the dark arts"

Picard: "Of course she'd say that. She's a witch.

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY: Why does it smell like sex in here? Oh....

PICARD: Pull my finger!!!!!

 

[scottydog]

"I want YOU... to go to warp 7."

 

[scottydog]

McCoy: "This isn't the sauna?"

 

[tharpdevenport]

McCoy: "What is this, Jim? Damned thing's been held up for ten decks and you STILL haven't gotten in her pants??? Shouldn't you at least have a part of your shirt ripped by now?"

(looking at Sarah Chalke, off screen, on the main viewer)

Picard: "Mr. Data, plot a course for me to hit that!!! Warp 9!"

 

[Yeoman Randi]

w00t! A win for me!?!?! Thank you Ratboy! You've made my day!

Picard: "Data, engage."

Data (offscreen): "Course heading Captain?"

Picard: "Over there"

Data: "Coordinates sir?"

Picard: There! That way!

Data: "Sir? Destination???"

Picard: "There! Go there!"

Data: "Sir?"

Riker: (offscreen) "Data, for the love of god, just move!!!!"

 

[Yeoman Randi]

McCoy: "This isn't the sauna?"

Probably the only time in history where it was beneficial to have crazy-glued one's own eyes shut.

 

[Captain Crow]

McCoy: You haven't been telling female crewmembers your pecker is this big again have you?

McCoy: You know, Jim, in about twenty years she's gonna be about this big.

Picard: Somebody shoot that R2-D2 fucker!

Picard: Airplane!

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY: Why does this damn thing keep flashing "load capacity exceded"?

 

[Shatmandu]

Nero-Luc Picard: "AFTER WE GET BACK FROM TWO STAFF MEETINGS IN MY READY ROOM, FIRE EVERYTHING!!!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

^^^^

 

[Deranged Nasat]

^^^^

Seconded.

 

[Shatmandu]

Saavik: "Permission to eat freely, sir?"
Kirk: "Granted."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "McCoy was right. Engineers do love to change things."

Saavik: "Sir?"

Kirk: "This used to be a Wendy's."

 

[Candlelight]

Nero-Luc Picard: "THERE ARE TWO SPOCKS!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Awkward....

SAAVIK (thinking): that cheating bastard. He said I was the only one!