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Movie Caption Contest #100: Hall of Fame Game

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Picard: "Come on!"

Soran: "Well, I don't know if I should-"

Kirk: "Don't be a pussy. It'll be the coolest railing kill since Space Mutiny."
 
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"Okay, so we've met Peter Preston, and... don't tell me... you must be Cadet Sulu."

"Jackass."


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Worf: LITTLE?!

Picard: Don't deny it, Mr. Worf, we've already gotten Deanna's sworn affidavit and I've sent out a priority one signal to Commander Dax on Deep Space Nine to corroborate the claim.



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"4.5 logs is how much wood a woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. Plus or minus .1 wood shavings, of course."


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Kirk: Now remember, when you're done, I want you to look and each other and say, "My, what a lovely tea party."

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Picard: We know who you really are, Soran, and now you're going to receive one punch in the face for every time Roxanne is said in that song.
 
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Kirk: "Thanks for introducing me to your sister Scotty, we had... quite the evening together. If you know what I mean."
Scott: "That was me in a kilt, you blind randy bastard."
McCoy: "Your glasses, admiral?"


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Worf: "She's looking at me like a mournful Irish setter again, isn't she?"
Picard: "Post traumatic Q disorder. Happens to the best of us."

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Computer: "Given the situation as previously presented, what is your logical action?"
Spock: "Ask Gandalf about the curious map then take sword and kill troll with it."
Computer: "Command not recognised, try again."
Spock: "Fuck!"


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Sulu: "I want my gum back!"
Kirk: "You could have just got him to spit it out, instead of going in the long way."


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Kirk: "This must be your daughter. I don't believe I've had the pleasure..."
Spock: "What did I say about not causing diplomatic incidents? Not even thirty seconds..."

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Stewart: "Don't do it. You have so much to live for Malcolm, think of all the film roles, the joy you have given to millions."
McDowell: "This year, I've worked on this, and Tank Girl."
Shatner: "I'd jump."
 
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Though Kirk and Scotty never spoke of it, their shared night of passion was always there, just below the surface.



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Shatner: "Hey, I thought about going with the 'Jack Lord,' too ..."
 
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Kirk: Please send your nephew to my cabin, Scotty. It's time we initiated him into the world of manly men.
Scotty: Aye, I still remember my first time.
 
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Kirk: "That's a big bone. How long did it take you to gnaw it clean?"



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Scotty: "Aye, the whole thing about Red Shirts dying is a load of crap, sir."
Kirk: "Yes. Now, which one of these is your nephew?"


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Kirk: "No, no, don't worry about it: we planned on having the carpets cleaned after you filthy animals were gone anyway ..."
 
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Kirk: "A porn 'stache, Mr. Scott?"
Scotty: "It's still regulation, Admiral."

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Picard: "I say it'll hold."
Soran: <bounces a few times> "Yeah, you'd have to Rosie O'Donnell to bring this baby down."
Kirk: "All right, then. I'll give it a shot."

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Picard: "Welcome back aboard, Mr. Worf. You may assume tactical once Dr. Crusher has cleared you for duty."
Worf: "Captain, surely we can dispense with the formalities in the heat of battle?!?"
Crusher: "C'mon Worf, nude jumping jacks have been mandatory since the days of McCoy."

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Computer: "Who put the bomp in the bomp-a-bomp-a-bomp?"
<Spock raises eyebrow>
 
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Kirk: "Who do you think you're trying to fool, Scotty? We know you were watching Twilight in your quarters last night."

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Worf had forgotten about the assless chaps and he had to repeatedly picture Jadzia naked in order to keep a straight face.

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Amanda: "Spock, perhaps you would find Internet Explorer easier to use if you just used tabs?"

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Sulu: "Not now, Madeline!"

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Gorkon: "Like the outfit? I got it at the Michael Jackson estate sale. You've never experienced the King of Pop unless you've heard him in the original Klingon."

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Soran: "Wait, wait; time out, man, time out."

Kirk: *sigh* "What now?"

Soran: "I dropped a contact lens!"

Kirk: "Are all villains in the 24th Century this wussy?"
 
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Scotty: "Oh, I had a wee bout suh, but Dr. McCoy pulled me through."

Kirk: "Wee bout of what?"

McCoy: "Our friend Grignak calls it a 'job hand.'"

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Spock: "If nothing unreal exists, then what the heck is this Unreal Tournament doing on my computer?"

Amanda: "Whoops, forgot to log out. Totally pwned those bitches last night."

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*creaking sound*

Soran: "Well, one of you has to get off."
 
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Scotty: "Oh, I had a wee bout, suh."
Kirk: "Wee bout of what?"
McCoy: "The Clap. But with him, it's more like 'The Applause.'"


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Spock: "A Klingon mummification glyph. Makes a terrific bong."
Computer: "Correct!"



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Picard: "I know you used the toilet in my Ready-Room. You leave more skid marks than an ancient NASCAR race."
 
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Computer: "What does a Klingon Bird of Prey overloaded sensor array sound like after coming out of a temporal shift?"

Spock: "The 48k version of Jet Set Willy loading from tape to a Sinclair Spectrum, rubber keyed model."

Computer: "Correct."

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Computer: "You've answered five questions correctly, and have earned this cheque for 1000 quatloos. But we don't want to give you that. You still have all three lifelines intact. Do you want to go for the 10000 quatloo question?"

Spock: "Yes."

Computer: "How many times has James T Kirk had sex with your mother? Is it a) zero, b) once, during the Babel mission, c) twice during the Babel Mission, or d) sixteen times during the Babel mission, including twice while you and your father were fighting for your life in sickbay?"

Spock: "The answer is a, zero."

Computer: "You do not wish to consider your answer? Comlink a friend? Ask the katra ark?"

Spock: "I am certain."

Computer: "The answer... will be revealed after these pop-up ads."

Spock: "I hate this computer!"
 
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