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Miscellaneous Street - The Soap Opera

Deranged Nasat slouches into the coffee shop, wearing overalls he's retrieved from a ditch somewhere. Or possibly from the body, he isn't sure. He found them fair and square, though. Having run out of change and thus unable to buy cigarettes or alcohol, he's decided to be a semi-responsible member of society and get a temporary job. So he's here to help redecorate and clean up the coffee shop in the aftermath of the fire. He also has a magic book now. That might be handy.

So, £5 an hour of work? Plus a bonus if he manages to wipe his feet as he comes in.
 
Jenee wakes to banging and clattering and much noise and wonders what the heck is going on. She descends the stairs to find a gubby dirty man ... cleaning(?!)

"I hired you to clean the place?"

...

"No, no..., I ... I believe you. It's ... it's just that I've got quite a bit on my mind right now. Daniel's missing ... and .. and there's been a murder ..."

...

"Wait! ... You don't think the two are somehow connected, do you?"

"Of course you don't. Look ... uhm ... I gotta run some errends. You'll be okay here by yourself, right? I've got to stop that crazy cat lady before she buries that body!"
 
So what do you suggest that we do w/ the body? It's been days, and the police still haven't shown up! If they ever do (which appears to be highly unlikely), they can always disinter him. But in the meantime, he will be treated w/ dignity, and the town won't smell.
 
We've got to look for clues. Dig under his fingernails and ... check all his orifaces ...

Perhaps RJ can put a spell on him to preserve him while we investigate.
 
A preservation spell would be excellent. But, no, we don't need to dig under anything. We need to track down the police so they can collect the evidence. Evidence is meaningless w/o an official chain of custody.

Yikes... Crazy Cat Lady and I wore gloves to move him, but still... I sure hope that, in the unlikely chance that the police do materialize, we don't suddenly become suspects.
 
Stop by the Bookstore and pick out a free book of your choice. :cool:

"Ah, may the Goddess bless you, good sir. What to choose...ooh, Home Decorating With Lentil Husks for Fun and Profit! This book went out of print years ago, though I can't think why. I'll take this one, thank you."

Hippy Lady leaves the shop in what she hopes in a nonchalant manner. She had seen Crazy Cat Lady and that lady who had been walking around in a dreamy manner cart the body away, hopefully to bury it. Perhaps she would be safe after all...

(Jenee, believe me, I'd talk your ear off as much as you would mine. :lol: We'd have fun doing it, though. And thanks to everyone's kind words regarding my craptastic day. In real-life soap opera style it made me reexamine some things and, if things work out, there will be some changes for the better happening soon, in a take-this-job-and-shove-it kind of way.)
 
Crazy at Lady wishes someone had mentioned preservation spell before she started to dig.

As she has done so much work she isn't about to let the grave go unused so she dumps the body in and starts to shovel the dirt back in.
 
We've got to look for clues. Dig under his fingernails and ... check all his orifaces ...
I collected a bunch of specimens. They're in test tubes in the refrigerator right next to the Snapple.

Perhaps RJ can put a spell on him to preserve him while we investigate.
Hmm. I'll see if I can find something that will preserve him without making him get up and walk around.

A preservation spell would be excellent. But, no, we don't need to dig under anything. We need to track down the police so they can collect the evidence. Evidence is meaningless w/o an official chain of custody.
I have some friends at the Jeffersonian who are into that sort of thing.

Yikes... Crazy Cat Lady and I wore gloves to move him, but still... I sure hope that, in the unlikely chance that the police do materialize, we don't suddenly become suspects.
Haha. That only happens in Soap Operas. Oh, wait....

By the way, if anyone is interested, my Crystal Ball indicates that Daniel is being held captive in a shed in the woods by some dude with rusty knives. Seems to be in deadly peril.
 
The Crazy Cat Lady runs by screaming

ZOMBIE, ZOMBIE

Hmm. I'll see if I can find something that will preserve him without making him get up and walk around

Did you try to do this? If you did it actually had the opposite effect,

ZOMBIE, ZOMBIE - run for your lives (or walk quickly seeing zombies tend to move slowly).
 
A preservation spell would be excellent. But, no, we don't need to dig under anything. We need to track down the police so they can collect the evidence. Evidence is meaningless w/o an official chain of custody.
I have some friends at the Jeffersonian who are into that sort of thing.

What, pray tell, is the Jeffersonian?

The Jeffersonian Institute is where the forensic anthropology team in the TV show "Bones" work.
 
You are a brave woman if you are going to face a zombie armed only with a baseball bat.
 
Deranged Nasat finishes today's shift in the coffee shop and steps outside. No sooner has he done so, than Crazy Cat Lady runs past screaming. Interested, Deranged Nasat wanders off the way she came to investigate. He finds someone shambling along, head loping to one side, mumbling incoherently and with a vacant look in his eyes. Nodding in recognition, Deranged Nasat offers the man/creature a cigarette butt. The guy looks awefully familiar. Must be another victim of the gov'ment come wandering into the street. The guy keeps shambling along, mumbling about brains, so Deranged Nasat walks along with him, mumbling about goats.
 
You are a brave woman if you are going to face a zombie armed only with a baseball bat.

She's not after the zombie she's rescuing me!


Jenee charges into the shed and stoves Nurse Ayel's head in with the baseball bat. Daniel has been tortured horribly for days, but he's alive. Infused with the strength of a thousand cougars, Jenee lifts Daniel's frail body and carries him home...
 
It's an odd British term, the same as "smashed his head in". I'm not quite sure what a stove has to do with it:lol:

It has nothing to do with a stove.

It is past tense and a past participle of the word stave.

Techically I think it is wrong to say 'stoves Nurse Ayel's head in" . I think it should be "staves Nurse Ayel's head" (meaning he bashes Nurse Ayel's head in) or "he stove Nurse Ayel's head in" (meaning he bashed Nurse's head in")
 
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