Might I be an Alien?

[Small White Car]

It was brought to my attention that I may be an alien life-form, masquerading as a human being. Let's consider the evidence:


1) Alcohol has the opposite effect on me than it does other humans.

2) I remember nothing before the age of 4. HIGHLY suspicious.

3) When my wife gets sick for the entire week, I catch the same illness and am CURED within 40 hours with no medication. EVERY TIME. (And it $*&@% her off!)

4) My body produces endorphins in the presence of my iPhone. I clearly have a symbiotic relationship with this machinery.

5) I hate to get out of bed in the morning. Might I be allergic to your sun? (You may say you hate the same thing, but trust me. Mine is way, way worse.)

6) I can very clearly talk to animals.


I am not fully convinced that I am an alien, but I have to admit, the evidence is pretty spooky!

 

[c0rnedfr0g]

this should be a poll

 

[trekkerguy]

You're not alone dude.

 

[Ben Sisko3]

It was brought to my attention that I may be an alien life-form, masquerading as a human being. Let's consider the evidence:


1) Alcohol has the opposite effect on me than it does other humans.

2) I remember nothing before the age of 4. HIGHLY suspicious.

3) When my wife gets sick for the entire week, I catch the same illness and am CURED within 40 hours with no medication. EVERY TIME. (And it $*&@% her off!)

4) My body produces endorphins in the presence of my iPhone. I clearly have a symbiotic relationship with this machinery.

5) I hate to get out of bed in the morning. Might I be allergic to your sun? (You may say you hate the same thing, but trust me. Mine is way, way worse.)

6) I can very clearly talk to animals.


I am not fully convinced that I am an alien, but I have to admit, the evidence is pretty spooky!

You are still a fleshy. I am robot. I am full of very useful devices.

 

[Small White Car]

My wife just came up with another:

7) If I have a good experience with a company, I talk about it online. If I have a poor one, I let it drop and don't talk about them.

 

[Kestra]

So when you call for an alien invasion, we can expect well-mannered aliens that don't complain about poor customer service?

 

[RJDiogenes]

^^ Destined to not be a Summer Blockbuster!

1) Alcohol has the opposite effect on me than it does other humans.

That's what Heinlein said of Asimov.

 

[Mr Awe]

My wife just came up with another:

7) If I have a good experience with a company, I talk about it online. If I have a poor one, I let it drop and don't talk about them.

The rest weren't that unusual but this is the one that convinced me!!

Mr Awe

 

[Rÿcher]

ahem...if I may?

alrighty...

let's try some graphical word association shall we?

This is:

A Something I keep in my toolbox
B Something I keep in my bedroom
C Something I keep in my bathroom

When I see this person:

A I think of my wife
B I think of David Bowie
C I think of the High Exalted ruler
D All of the above

This image makes me want to:

A Ummmm, what?
B Carry out my mission
C Drool and fall out of my chair

Identify this person:

A The bane of my existence
B Sigourney Weaver
C My wife
D David Bowie

 

[Small White Car]

A
B
B
C

I know, a mixed result, at best.

But remember, if I am an alien, I don't know it. So that may be skewing the results.

 

[judge alba]

It was brought to my attention that I may be an alien life-form, masquerading as a human being. Let's consider the evidence:


1) Alcohol has the opposite effect on me than it does other humans.

2) I remember nothing before the age of 4. HIGHLY suspicious.

3) When my wife gets sick for the entire week, I catch the same illness and am CURED within 40 hours with no medication. EVERY TIME. (And it $*&@% her off!)

4) My body produces endorphins in the presence of my iPhone. I clearly have a symbiotic relationship with this machinery.

5) I hate to get out of bed in the morning. Might I be allergic to your sun? (You may say you hate the same thing, but trust me. Mine is way, way worse.)

6) I can very clearly talk to animals.


I am not fully convinced that I am an alien, but I have to admit, the evidence is pretty spooky!

yes we the men in black know about you .j

 

[Hermiod]

1) Alcohol has the opposite effect on me than it does other humans.

You're not an alien, you're an evil robot!

 

[Ben Sisko3]

1) Alcohol has the opposite effect on me than it does other humans.

You're not an alien, you're an evil robot!

My robot brain needs beer. Also? I want to die.

 

[Thespeckledkiwi]

Yeah. Had to check with the boss on this one and unfortunately, you are not an alien. Sorry White Car...

Well, you're not a cataloged alien that we know about...