Mental Wellness Support Group

[Sumire]

All the stress for nothing as usual

It always seems unfair that you can’t reason with your brain, which gives you the ability to reason. The number of times I have weathered some neural glitch and, even intellectually knowing this is an ongoing and repeating part of my life, my brain still consistently pipes up, “Oh! Now I will know better and shall never indulge in this tomfoolery again!”

 

[Non Sync]

 

[wayoung]

It always seems unfair that you can’t reason with your brain, which gives you the ability to reason. The number of times I have weathered some neural glitch and, even intellectually knowing this is an ongoing and repeating part of my life, my brain still consistently pipes up, “Oh! Now I will know better and shall never indulge in this tomfoolery again!”

I was always a negative person as I seemed to have bad luck but with the cptsd after a decade of disasterious, life or death situations completely shot my nerves. Adrenale burn out. I go immediately to catastrophizing events and lose my mind in anxiety. I've done a bunch of therapy, EMDR and CBT, but it still happens. I'm better than I was but still so far to go. I don't think I'll ever be normal.

Edit:. All checked in and at my gate. Short of more credit card fraud o should have nothing to panic about until my safari in a week or so

 

[fireproof78]

It always seems unfair that you can’t reason with your brain, which gives you the ability to reason. The number of times I have weathered some neural glitch and, even intellectually knowing this is an ongoing and repeating part of my life, my brain still consistently pipes up, “Oh! Now I will know better and shall never indulge in this tomfoolery again!”

Unfortunately, our brains are hardwired to survival mode, which means that even in moments where we rationally know it's not true, our brain defaults to it because it had to in the past to survive. The larger question is how to we accept that this is our emotions in this specific moment. Not what do I do-that will come in a moment. Most of the people I encounter are running from something, rather than acknowledging the emotion of the moment, be it sadness, pain, fear or happiness and joy. Starting in the moment of "What do I feel?" is how I start identifying what I need.

 

[Commander Troi]

Yeah, figuring out what I'm actually feeling has been huge for me. Uncomfortable as hell a lot of times, but something I wish I'd learned as a kid.

 

[Bynar0110]

I do thought stopping exercises when my brain starts to become unreasonable or overwhelming with the thought patterns, especially intrusive thoughts.

 

[Gryffindorian]

The thing about intrusive thoughts is that the more you suppress, neutralize, or push them away, the stronger they get. Mindfulness teaches us to be aware of these thoughts and respond to them without judgment.

 

[fireproof78]

I think it depends on the thought. I value mindfulness and derive a lot of wisdom from it, but I also have times were my thoughts are ones that I want to scream at "Shut up!" Like, I literally want to tell my brain to shut it. There are times that works, and there are times when I am more mindful and simply recognize what the thought is, it's path and possible emotion that is guiding it.

 

[JD]

My mom is starting to get frustrated with me over the fact that I still haven't gotten a job. I keep telling myself I'm going to apply somewhere today or tomorrow, or maybe next week, but I still just can't bring myself to actually do it. On the one hand, I hate the thought of going back to retail and having to deal with all of the asshole customers and bosses, but I don't really know anything else. The only jobs I've ever had were the Wal-Mart job, then the one at the grocery store and then back to Wal-Mart. Each one has lasted a shorter time, and after not even lasting a full two weeks at Wal-Mart the second time, not counting to two weeks I was out for Covid, I'm kind of nervous about putting myself back in that kind of enviroment.
The other day my mom spontaneously told me I should look for a job at one of the horse stables I go by on my bike, so I have been giving that a bit more thought. I was looking at the place I was thinking about volunteering and it's actually farther than I thought so I'm probably not going be able to do that. And there is one that's lot closer that is just pigs, goats, and birds, so at least if I volunteered there on one of my days off, I wouldn't be doing the same stuff I did the rest of the week.
I've gotten to visit with the horses I see on my bike rides a few more, and that has gotten me thinking that being around them all day might be kind of nice. Horses do seem to like me, to the point that a couple that were being ridden have actually spontaneously come over to say hi to me, with their riders still on them. The one was actually kind of funny, because I could see his rider trying to turn him away, but he just kept turning back to me until he was right in front of me.
There are some horses that I've visited on a regular basis, and I have to admit it might be kind of cool to see them at work every day.
But even that makes me a little nervous, just because it's so different from working at Wal-Mart and the grocery store.

 

[fireproof78]

But even that makes me a little nervous, just because it's so different from working at Wal-Mart and the grocery store.

That's quite the struggle there. On the one hand, you don't want to go back to Wal-Mart and do that again. On the other hand you don't want to do something different because it's too different.

I would encourage you to apply and try at places that you find have value, even if the value is just a job.

A little self-disclosure so it doesn't sound like I am repeating platitudes. My parents had high expectations of myself, and expected me to go to grad school, get married and have kids. Well, I did it kind of backwards, and it took me longer than expected to get my degree. Now, my wife and I are building a house ourselves, i.e. framing, hammering, nailing, swear and the like, like contractors. My parents look at this oddly because, well, I've never been handy. But, my wife and I believed passionately in having a farm, having a place for our kids to run and play outside of the city, and to get closer to self-sufficiency. In that process, I have been shoved out of my comfort zone, learned how to use heavy equipment, a hammer, a nail-gun, a drill, a reciprocating saw, a chalk line and a level. I did not have these skills before. I learned them by trying, failing, and learning. The phrase that I keep going back to is "To go places you've never been you have to do things you've never done before."

 

[Gryffindorian]

I'm currently viewing an online course on resilience and self-discipline, presented by Kain Ramsay. There are lots of helpful insights, some concepts which I'm already familiar with, based on emotional intelligence and mindfulness.

We all have different circumstances. One thing we have to realize is that we are responsible for our own lives, well-being, and happiness. Granted, there are certain external barriers, but those can be overcome if we develop resilience and discipline. These can be achieved or practiced in a number of ways, like stepping out of our comfort zones, being authentic, as well as being more conscious and intentional in the way we think, managing cognitive distortions, forming deeper connections with others, etc.

 

[shapeshifter]

Watched an interesting episode of NOVA.

Apparently great strides have been made utilizing psychedelics to heal many mental illnesses, not just temporarily treat.

https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/video/can-psychedelics-cure/

There is nothing recreational about this, it is serious science.

 

[fireproof78]

Watched an interesting episode of NOVA.

Apparently great strides have been made utilizing psychedelics to heal many mental illnesses, not just temporarily treat.

https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/video/can-psychedelics-cure/

There is nothing recreational about this, it is serious science.

I became aware of this about 4 years ago, or so. It was just coming up as I completed grad school, with a lot of interest in ways of addressing concerns around more difficult manage symptoms, like with schizophrenia, and see about allowing more efficacy in treatment. I'm highly skeptical but I also know that there is something to be said for managing symptoms through chemistry. Will be curious to see what this yields.

 

[JD]

That's quite the struggle there. On the one hand, you don't want to go back to Wal-Mart and do that again. On the other hand you don't want to do something different because it's too different.

There is no way I'd ever work at Wal-Mart again, if I did retail it would be at another grocery store, or Target or some other store.

I would encourage you to apply and try at places that you find have value, even if the value is just a job.

That's what I'm really trying to do this time.

A little self-disclosure so it doesn't sound like I am repeating platitudes. My parents had high expectations of myself, and expected me to go to grad school, get married and have kids. Well, I did it kind of backwards, and it took me longer than expected to get my degree. Now, my wife and I are building a house ourselves, i.e. framing, hammering, nailing, swear and the like, like contractors. My parents look at this oddly because, well, I've never been handy. But, my wife and I believed passionately in having a farm, having a place for our kids to run and play outside of the city, and to get closer to self-sufficiency. In that process, I have been shoved out of my comfort zone, learned how to use heavy equipment, a hammer, a nail-gun, a drill, a reciprocating saw, a chalk line and a level. I did not have these skills before. I learned them by trying, failing, and learning. The phrase that I keep going back to is "To go places you've never been you have to do things you've never done before.

"
That's really cool that you're doing that.

 

[fireproof78]

That's really cool that you're doing that.

It's also stressful, scary and anxious. But, doable.

Same with you.

 

[JD]

One other issue I'm facing, is that once I get a consistent job I want to work on getting back to school, so I can get into a better career. But even at 35, I'm still not sure what I want to do when I grow up.

 

[Bynar0110]

Bad days suck.

 

[fireproof78]

One other issue I'm facing, is that once I get a consistent job I want to work on getting back to school, so I can get into a better career. But even at 35, I'm still not sure what I want to do when I grow up.

Took my wife getting to 35 and managing through illness and such to figure out what she wanted to be when she grew up.

 

[JD]

Glad to know I'm not the only one.

 

[Commander Troi]

One other issue I'm facing, is that once I get a consistent job I want to work on getting back to school, so I can get into a better career. But even at 35, I'm still not sure what I want to do when I grow up.

I'm 20 years older than you and have the same problem.