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Mental Wellness Support Group

Lol I did my fire insurance spreadsheet this morning for purchases yesterday. I spent $700. $500 of it is claimable. All general home stuff, stuff that I will need one day even if not today. Stuff they gave like nothing for and costs like $10/item so doesn't seem like much but add it all up....
 
Honestly not doing that great. Depression comes and goes. I'd talk about what tends to set it off, but that'd just worsen my chances of ever fixing the situation.
 
I tend to not talk about things as well but over the years I've learned that by keeping it all inside you get no new information so it creates a vicious cycle. Even if you don't talk about it there is a lot to be said for journaling about it and getting outside of your own to just sit there and ruminate on.
 
I tend to not talk about things as well but over the years I've learned that by keeping it all inside you get no new information so it creates a vicious cycle. Even if you don't talk about it there is a lot to be said for journaling about it and getting outside of your own to just sit there and ruminate on.
I talk about it with close friends (to the point of annoyance, no doubt), but to voice my complaints to the internet at large wouldn't help my problem one bit, and would likely just exacerbate it. I thought of seeing a counselor, but I don't know if it would help my situation or not.
 
I talk about it with close friends (to the point of annoyance, no doubt), but to voice my complaints to the internet at large wouldn't help my problem one bit, and would likely just exacerbate it. I thought of seeing a counselor, but I don't know if it would help my situation or not.
Depends on what you expect from a counselor. A counselor is not really there to solve a problem but to provide a safe, nonjudgemental space, to explore alternatives, different ways of thinking and possible changes based upon personal beliefs and values through therapeutic techniques. It will only help in so far as it offers a way to explore it but not in that they will tell you the solution to the problem.
 
Having a random low day. No reason for it, just feeling down.

So maybe Mondays are just down days for me. I slept badly last night. Nightmares and my heart rate was up night. Which wasn't surprising because I felt "bad" when I tried to go to sleep and laid awake for hours.

Been down all day now, making me feel vulnerable, and had a slight set back regarding something that is impacting me way beyond its importance.

It's a nice day outside, I'm going to make myself go out for a walk after work, despite not wanting to do anything but curl up in bed. Maybe at the local conservation area. Hopefully some fresh air and sun will improve my mood
 
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I talk about it with close friends (to the point of annoyance, no doubt), but to voice my complaints to the internet at large wouldn't help my problem one bit, and would likely just exacerbate it. I thought of seeing a counselor, but I don't know if it would help my situation or not.

It’s a good step to tell friends about it and the sooner you find a councelor the better. Whatever it is by speaking to someone who has been there can only help. My alcohol councilor is a knight in shining armour because he doesn’t judge, never gets angry or scolds me when I don’t do as we agreed and I know he cares and wants me to recover. He’s given me focus and self confidence.
 
Anxiety kept growing from Sunday afternoon. Sleep kept getting worse. Ended up having a full blown anxiety attack while watching Black Adam in a theatre last night. Didn't have a choice but to ride it out using breathing and mental grounding techniques. No triggers that I can tell, just seemed to be growing generalized anxiety. Still ended up staying awake late. Feeling a lot less anxious today. But tired. Craving pizza today. Have group therapy this afternoon.
 
Fun movie. Sorry to hear about your anxiety episode. When I was suffering from intrusive thoughts, I wanted to stay away from horror films or violent action movies. But for me, seeing these types of films was (1) escapism and (2) exposure therapy in itself.
 
So in my group therapy every single person has dropped out but me. There are two sessions left.

I got a call from my insurance company yesterday and braced myself for the worst but it was good news, I'd been underclaiming and they wanted to double the amount I claimed and told me there was still a massive amount of money left in the agreement so I can upgrade replacement items as long as I don't max stuff out, which is great news. I'm getting some new, fancy, shit now.

BUT that put insurance back on my to do list when I thought it was done. The deadline isn't until end of Nov instead of start like I thought, and I don't have to stress about matching stuff to the dollar like I thought before, but now that it's back on my plate I'm feeling overwhelmed again as I am also supposed to decide on my Kenya safaris by Monday, and work had some bombs to drop on me today.

Plus, my ex still has to sign off on my insurance purchases before insurance can pay them out and she still has whatever she might be submitting so I'm not free to just exploit everything to max out my insurance payment like I would be if it was just me on the claim. So now I'm also worried about how my ex may fuck me over once more, or if she refuses to sign off on stuff, or claims more stuff than she should, or ig ores insurance emails, or is involuntarily committed to a psychiatric facility and is undergoing treatment again so can't sign off on anything, or whatever, and, worse of all, that she may try to interact with me again, and lawyers have to get involved again, and the insurance times out in a month.

Intellectually I know everything should be fine, this should all be good news, I shouldn't have to worry about anything, but it just threw all these anxieties and worries right back in my face that I had mostly gotten over when I thought the insurance stuff was done. On top of that I have to go over the entire list again and start shopping again and researching things and.... It's just overwhelming when I'm just so, so, so burned out.

I shouldn't be working. I should have stopped working 12 years ago and went on leave. I've just been trying to juggle everything and the longer it goes the less I'm able to do it. Last week I started to feel some relief when it seemed like I was done stuff and making headway, I could relax for the winter really, enjoy my new relationship, not stress about anything, just take care of myself until it came time to house hunt again in the spring. But now that insurance is back on my plate, even though it's good news, it's like I've been pushed back a step. On top of the major anxiety attack I had Tuesday and how I'd fell a couple days behind on my reg self care because of it.

It's just a hump. I will get over it. I just need to sit down and do it. Get Kenya safaris done this weekend. Start insurance hunting again. Maybe get it done in two weeks or so. Ignore the cognitive distortions I'm having regarding insurance and my ex (catastrophizing, mind reading, fortune telling, black and white thinking) and just get the stuff done. Negative stuff doesn't always happen. The insurance stuff is good news. There's no reason to think future insurance stuff will be bad.

Edit:. Ex approved the payout for the items I have already purchased. Whew. Still stressed and worried about the rest of the stuff to claim and having to do it again but at least that worry is over
 
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I haven't posted in this thread in a while, so here goes: I am now a NAMI Peer-to-Peer teacher and a NAMI Connections facilitator, as well as a NAMI In Our Own Voice presenter. I was supposed to take the state exam today to become a certified peer specialist, but I was hit with a double-whammy health wise: I have both COVID and the flu. They said they would reschedule the exam for when I am feeling better, which is good. It's very depressing being sick. I feel miserable physically and had trouble sleeping because of my misery last night. The only medicine the doctor gave me was some cough syrup. My throat hurts, and when I cough it feels like my throat is being shredded. I hope I can stay out of the hospital.
 
I had a really good weekend with my girlfriend this weekend but I'm still so overwhelmed with the insurance stuff being added in my plate and now being behind in my Kenya trip that my stress and anxiety are really high. Ended up taking another pill so I can relax and enjoy my Sunday night.
 
I had a panic attack today at work and I can’t pinpoint why. Maybe it’s the fact I’m solo this year and there’s no way I can call in sick if something happens…. I don’t know. I’m not feeling right at present.
 
feel better @Peach Wookiee that is too much pressure --- try just letting the worries go --- you do your best all the time so does everyone else -- there is no way to get more... if you can't work for a day they will survive without you things will be OK -- It is going to be fine.. my panic attacks have lessoned by a lot,.. I used to think I was going to die when I was sleeping.. usually after not sleeping awhile -- this led to more no sleep -- I am ok and I did not die... no reason to panic -- I hate how panic attacks escalate all by themselves very annoying --
 
I figured out what it was. I can’t say for sure if it’s the added stress alone, but I think whatever it was shook my memories of eight years ago when my mom went into a nursing home after a hospital stay. Eight years ago yesterday (November 3rd) was the day part of me realized my mom was only going to get worse. And that year was easily the worst holiday season I can remember.
 
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