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Mental Wellness Support Group

I am feeling much better, although I still tire easily. My certified peer specialist exam is now scheduled for a week from tomorrow. I return to rehab day treatment class Tuesday.
Congratulations. Hope the exam goes well!

More generally, I debated on posting a bit more because recent weeks have been very depressing for me, and has had a significant impact on my mood. However, recently, in doing a training on DBT, I stumbled upon a simple truth: the idea of a safe place that is wholly one's own. One thing that I struggle with is a feeling of personal space, either due to multiple demands on my life like being a spouse, parent, or supervisor or employee. And it's really important to carve out time for oneself to engage in self-care, to do things that are positive, uplifting and to set aside a space in life. You'll be amazed at how easy it is to not have that space or to give it away. But, you need it, need a space to be grateful, compassionate, and care for yourself so that you can give empathy, and participate fully in life.
 
Please God save me. I’m lost and don’t want to live. My life is hopeless. Pointless. Worthless.
Edit: strike that, reverse it. I couldn’t be happier. Hello birds, hello trees.
 
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Anxiety is up today. Today is the day my divorce is official (I thought it was when I signed the docs in July but then I found out in Oct that it is today it's final) and it's also around the anniversary of our first date (coincidentally) so that's probably why I'm mostly off base. Plus I'm visiting family (7 hour drive yesterday) and also working from their house so I'm in a different environment and still working so I'm in the hypervigilance mode I get into in new environments or when I'm around people. I'm also in an argument with my car dealership that I would be better off just letting go but it rankles me. There's also only 10 days left for me to finish insurance stuff.

I did some CBT and relaxation techniques but the anxiety is still there. It's not an attack but its constant and bad enough it's impacting me. I should probably just take a clonazepam since this day is this day but I dunno, I don't want to take it around people.
 
Just a little thing, but sneakers that squeak when you're walking :mad:

Also, anyone whose shoes, with every single step they take, are discernibly audible. Clip clop clip clop clip clop. I'm only hearing you in the hall for a matter of seconds, & it's driving me crazy. You hear it ALL DAY! How do you not gouge your own eardrums out with the arms on your eyeglasses? You sound like a horse & buggy in a Sherlock Holmes movie. You wore those shoes on purpose. You know they're going to make that sound.

Do you know why Harley Davidson bikers change out their exhaust pipes with obnoxiously loud ones? Because a motorcyclist who is being noticed is a safer motorcyclist, & you're never not going to notice them. There might be a parallel there
 
I urge anyone with health problems of any kind that remain undiagnosed to get checked for possible food allergies. I have had various health problems all of my life (I am now 55) and I just found out that a lot of them are due to milk protein intolerance. I happened to find that out on my own, from reading. No doctor ever mentioned it to me, over the years, including a gastroenterologist that I went to for a while in 1993. Food allergies can really wreak havoc with bodily systems. And milk protein intolerance is much different from lactose intolerance.
 
Last week for insurance processing. I'm anxious over leaving money on the table but really it's my ex wife doing so, so that's her issue. I've been upgrading stuff like crazy, although pretty much all of it is sitting on boxes in my kitchen until it's approved. It takes about a month to do so. I did a submission 2 weeks ago and have another big submission to do probably tomorrow. The deadline is Thur and I want it in before that.

Pretty anxious over it all. Insurance can decline, ex wife can decline, etc. But I have no reason to expect either, it was insurance who told me there was a ridiculous amount left to claim and to get what I can, and my ex as far as I know hasn't submitted anything - and even if she has it can't be enough to max out the claim.

Still anxious though.
 
Another submission done. I'll probably take another quick look once or twice to see if there's more stuff to order rbut this is probably it.

I still need to decide my Kenya stuff today and my place is still a mess, although I did start to get it better organized. Insurance stuff awaiting approval is now in a closet/shed instead of my kitchen. Work is also a mess this week.

I have a headache. But by the end of this week I should be pretty much done with all my high pressure stuff
 
I've mentioned in a few other threads that I have social anxiety, and had some pretty bad today. At one of the places where I stop to watch the horses there's this absolutely awesome white male, and I've been dying to try to see if someone would let me come over to say hi and pet him. A couple weeks ago, a couple ladies were in with him, and I thought about saying hello and asking if I could come over to pet him, but I couldn't get up the guts to do it. After that I swore to myself if I ever, if I ever saw someone else in there with him, I'd actually talk them this time.
Today there was a woman in brushing him when I stopped, and I really, really tried to talk to her, but the anxiety kicked in and I just couldn't do it. There's a half wall that separates the parking lot where I stop from the stables property, and I actually got myself to go up to it, and really, really tried to say hi, but I just couldn't. I moved around a little trying to get to where she could see me past the horse, but never did. I even went back and forth between the wall a couple times, hoping to get her attention or even fight through the anxiety enough to say hi and that I thought her horse was cool, but I just couldn't do it.
One of the horses at another place did come over to say later on, and that helped me feel better.
 
Just decided on my safaris. I ended up picking the most expensive one because, you know what? Fuck it. This is a once in a lifetime thing, I can afford it, and I don't want to regret not doing it. Hell, it's barely more than I got back unexpectedly from my first insurance submission, so overall I'm still spending less than I had planned.

But I grew up really poor so spending money at all was always taught to me as a bad thing, especially on things not absolutely necessary, and anyone who spent more than absolutely necessary was showing off, a snob, am asshole flashing his money. So it's hard to not feel guilty doing so myself now that I have money.
I've mentioned in a few other threads that I have social anxiety, and had some pretty bad today. At one of the places where I stop to watch the horses there's this absolutely awesome white male, and I've been dying to try to see if someone would let me come over to say hi and pet him. A couple weeks ago, a couple ladies were in with him, and I thought about saying hello and asking if I could come over to pet him, but I couldn't get up the guts to do it. After that I swore to myself if I ever, if I ever saw someone else in there with him, I'd actually talk them this time.
Today there was a woman in brushing him when I stopped, and I really, really tried to talk to her, but the anxiety kicked in and I just couldn't do it. There's a half wall that separates the parking lot where I stop from the stables property, and I actually got myself to go up to it, and really, really tried to say hi, but I just couldn't. I moved around a little trying to get to where she could see me past the horse, but never did. I even went back and forth between the wall a couple times, hoping to get her attention or even fight through the anxiety enough to say hi and that I thought her horse was cool, but I just couldn't do it.
One of the horses at another place did come over to say later on, and that helped me feel better.

Sorry JD, that sounds really rough - but you're trying! That's the key to getting better! Everytime you try it gets a little easier. Congratulate yourself for the little steps you did manage, don't beat yourself up for the big step you couldn't quite climb yet.
 
Thanks. After getting this close, I'm hoping if I see someone with the horse again sometime soon, I might be able to at least wave or say hi.
 
Anybody on here know much anything about going on disability for mental health issues?
After having to quit two/three jobs for my anxiety, I'm starting to seriously consider going that route. I just can't handle customers getting angry or people chewing me out, and especially in retail, which is pretty much what I'm limited to since I only have a high school diploma and the only jobs that don't need a degree or specific experience I don't have around here are retail or food service.
 
Anybody on here know much anything about going on disability for mental health issues?
After having to quit two/three jobs for my anxiety, I'm starting to seriously consider going that route. I just can't handle customers getting angry or people chewing me out, and especially in retail, which is pretty much what I'm limited to since I only have a high school diploma and the only jobs that don't need a degree or specific experience I don't have around here are retail or food service.
Depends on the state and I am completely unfamiliar with Arizona's laws. In general, it's a lot paperwork, and you submit and application for disability based on, in this case mental health. Usually you'll need documentation demonstrating efforts to resolve the difficulty, i.e. attending counseling for anxiety, and that it hasn't help in a reasonable manner that you can perform your job.

From what I have learned from clients almost all disability applications are rejected the first time, and you are allowed to appeal. You can get a disability attorney as well who can help make your case and navigate all the legal aspects.

I would recommend talking to your primary doctor and see what they think.

Retail is hard and angry customers are hard. Took me a while to get used to that. I still don't know how I did it for ten years.
 
One thing that kinda frustrated me a while ago was I found a non-retail job that I was exactly the kind of thing I was looking for , and education wise it didn't need anything more than a high school diploma or GED, but it needed experience I don't have. We have Midwestern University campus not too far away, and it was looking for some to just help with basic care of their patients, cleaning stalls, passing out food and water, and taking them from place to place, stuff like that. But you need to have at least one year of experience taking care of them, and I have none.
 
One thing that kinda frustrated me a while ago was I found a non-retail job that I was exactly the kind of thing I was looking for , and education wise it didn't need anything more than a high school diploma or GED, but it needed experience I don't have. We have Midwestern University campus not too far away, and it was looking for some to just help with basic care of their patients, cleaning stalls, passing out food and water, and taking them from place to place, stuff like that. But you need to have at least one year of experience taking care of them, and I have none.
With due respect, I would try anyway. Workers are needed, especially in health care. As a manager while I like experience I'll also be open to looking at someone interested and willing to learn.
 
One thing that kinda frustrated me a while ago was I found a non-retail job that I was exactly the kind of thing I was looking for , and education wise it didn't need anything more than a high school diploma or GED, but it needed experience I don't have. We have Midwestern University campus not too far away, and it was looking for some to just help with basic care of their patients, cleaning stalls, passing out food and water, and taking them from place to place, stuff like that. But you need to have at least one year of experience taking care of them, and I have none.

This may be useless advice, because maybe you did so already, but apply even if you don't meet the qualifications requested. Additionally, while you may not have paid experience, that doesn't mean you don't have experience. From your messages you sound like you've spent a fair bit of time with horses/animals. Just because you didn't do it as a paid job doesn't mean you can't state that experience in your application.
 
I might try and take a closer look tomorrow if the job is still up on the site. Most of the time I've spent with horses, has just been petting them, I've never actually taken care of any, and I've literally touched a cow once in my life.
 
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