^to the fact that my online psychiatrist yesterday had apparently just gotten up and had forgotten to button his shirt, much to my amusement. Handsome guy, so it was a little distracting.
my dr is a father (I think) he does not talk about his personal life.. or anything like that = he is always in the shirt and tie.. and is a pure academic.. he has talked about his training with analogies and sayings in metaphor = about things with their meanings. How he had to diagnose patients just by the analogy and metaphor answers. .. I told him an analogy saying thing, that he did not know.. we looked it up on the net he was totally perplexed by it.. Oh yeah "the road to hell is paved with good intentions" something you would think the dr would of known, right, so apropos hehe.. he was there when I was getting suicidal all the time and always asks about it coming back.. --- but it has been about 3 years gone..there is a lot I had to do, to get thru those night terrors into the light and positive beingness.
I can’t imagine what you’ve been through but I am so glad you’ve made it through to the other side. (((Hugs)))
yes it is good to be on the other side!! I do stay here by keeping my memory green.. // I would not trade or lose any of the things that has happened to me.. not any of the trauma or anything.. it all makes me who I am.. and gives me the strength to be well and happy..
When your life gets better after a sucky part, try to remember that good moment and feeling. Even if things don't always work out for the best it's good to remember, things might get better. Obviously this doesn't work for everyone but if someone can find help from this idea, there it is. - EDITED for ridiculous typo....
but it seems bad memories are much stickier than good ones. I had to fill in a few questionnaires for the online therapy and among other things they asked me to list the 3 worst and the 3 happiest moments I havd. No prob listing the bad ones but I had to think for minutes to find 3 moments where I was genuinely happy. I recall gazillions of good moments and events but actual happiness is a different calibre and in my experience as rare as a supernova.
Yeah just getting to reply to this comment. you know.. I take a probiotic acidophilus everyday-- but this information about camomile needs some kind of reference or something == I am not seeing this on the net.. --- so I am super curious where did you find it??? it is almost the 1st of the month for the time to buy amazon things i guess.--- like.. Chamomile I looked at the store to replace the container of flowers I am finishing in tea and eating the flower .. not possible to replace there unless perhaps the tea bag type. which I did get along with Rooibos tea or red bush tea from africa .. yeah I looked and studied the net with this .. but found very little informations about things with it == again just not looking in the right spot.. again. it is a healthy herbal tea thing it has no caffeine but is it "similar" to caffeine? is it a stimulant? no comment anywhere ?? I did get the box of Rooibos too.. with the camomile tea bags.. --- back to the flow I am looking into getting more loose Chamomile flowers and.. maybe some other things like elderberry tea.. or leaves or what it is that I need to get for the antibodies or immune enhancement that elderberry has.. I guess.. maybe the pills dry capsules or what? let me know what to get also if I even should get the raw chamomile to brew and eat.-- ? maybe like a pound of amazon. the third item at amazon I had to look .. you would think I would remember right.. the. === "NOW Foods Valerian Root 500 mg,100 Count" Frontier Co-op Chamomile Flowers, German Whole, Certified Organic, Kosher, Non-irradiated | 1 lb. Bulk Bag | Sustainably Grown | Matricaria recutita L. Horbaach Black Elderberry Capsules 2000mg | 180 Pills | Immune Support | Non-GMO, Gluten Free | Sambucus Extract Supplement does this seem like the correct things..? I sorta need to know what you think @rhubarbodendron cause that would help.. I actually see my Psychiatrist .. on tuesday and will ask him too.. you know.. --- you people seem more knowledgable then him.. really right... ? with the valerian root I had stopped taking that in the 90's because the words root was the same as valium and well I know the valium - was addictive but there was not easy info on that stuff back then my book on magical herbs like this book I --- eventually lost or gave away, bad mistake but I might get this again.. Maybe. I had figured I was done at that point probably maximized my herbal knowledge and stuff. seeing it on the net makes me want to buy it again.. right? Cunningham's Encyclopedia of Magical Herbs is not even close to what is in this.--/// but I still have the cunningham one.--
It's a milennia old folk-remedy and widely used in Europe, and at University I developed a special interest in medical plants but I couldn't quote a definite source from the top of my head. *searches internet for sources* Ah! What in English is named Chamomille is the Genus Chamomilla. What we Germans call Chamomille is Matricaria chamomilla. That explains the problem and once again highlights how important it is to use the scientific name rather than the common one. Here are a few articles to the effects of Matricaria chamomilla https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S094450131730527X and here are lots: https://scholar.google.de/scholar?q...microbial&hl=de&as_sdt=0&as_vis=1&oi=scholart At the uni we had to make media for breeding bacteria and testing them for antibiotica resistence. You simply make a standard medium, add an AB to it, infect it with bacteria and wait for a few days to see if the bacteria are growing or dying. For fun we also tried soap and chamomile and found that the latter was extremely effective and even killed most funghi. Later we learned to our disappointment that that effect was already well known. Btw, a rat we placed on a petri dish left less bacteria than a human handprint (after washing the hand with soap) - rats spend 1/3 of their active time (a full 4 hours per day) cleaning their fur and spittle has desinfecting qualities, too, which is why we instinctively put an injured finger in our mouth and why animals lick wounds. I think as far as hygiene is concerned, we could take rats as an example in Corona-times.
Looked at the microbiological studies going on .. yeah way over my head.. you know but I guess I could read the ideas and stuff. that would be where that information is found.. it is like there is barrier between the public reader and knowledge and the science and deep science research type knowledge even the words used are at a different like level of understanding. going on.. I guess scientists do that to keep the problem of confusion from occurring regularly by word misrepresenting what it is they are.. defining.. itis
I think every profession has their own techno-babble. Every DIYer who in a hardware store tried to buy a special tool who's name they didn't know will have experienced that firsthand. In biology and medicine most of the special vocabulary is Latin or Greek. These special expressions have one huge advantage: they are the same, all over the world. A sort of scientific Esperanto. For example, I have a determination key for leeches which is written in Hungarian. I know about 10 words in that language, yet I can work with the key because the keywords are in "bio-babble" - Latin in this case. The disadvantage is that laypersons are barred from understanding much. In my opinion the scientific world deprives itself from a big potential by trying to keep laypersons out. Sometimes we wear blinkers and lays see things we overlook. However, there are quite a few exceptions: in Astronomy, the SETI-programme included laypersons very successfully. There used to be a similar global project in sequencing DNA and currently, in Bavaria we have a programme for making an inventory of all plants and animals where everyone can send in samples for genetic analysis. And there are monitoring programmes for a midge species that spreads West Nile Fever and for a new Asian tick where we asked the population to report finds and send in specimens. In Medicine, we had a research programme a few years ago that tried to proove the connection between weather and migraine. If you suffered a migraine fit you would enter your location and date in the database. They automatically compared the data with the local weather. So far they found out that indeed some 20% of migraines in Bavaria are triggered by weather phenomena. The patients sensitive to weather can now take their meds beforehand, need a lower dosage and can even often avoid fits alltogether. And the best thing is: they all had a hand in that medical breakthrough
YAY! Igot my first appointment for the online therapy (Monday 22nd) =) And by a very nice coincidence the one therapist who was available fits my requirements perfectly, judging by her profile. I had feared I'd get the one with the esotheric tendencies but got one who works strictly scientific. That's ideal as it matches my own views. A common basis is a good starting point for a therapy.
As I age, the more I think everything about being spectrumy, that in my youth everyone would've considered faults in my personality, primarily because we didn't even know anything about spectrum shit back then... they're actually some of the rarest & most special traits a human can have, almost like superpowers, which others have lamented similarly. Like social awkwardness for example... Is it really always a disadvantage? I mean, without ever even knowing what my deal was, I've spent decades educating myself on social norms & honing some skills for interactions, because even without having a name for it, I knew what was going on with me. Mostly I like to lean on comedic influences, because if you're social interactions are going to be odd anyhow, one solution is to be entertaining. Making someone laugh is a really fast & sloppy way to ease social awkwardness in itself. So I've studied & used that a good deal. It's a topnotch strategy However, sometimes social awkwardness is maybe one of the craftiest weapons a person can have in their arsenal, because let's face it, some people are itching to be put in check. They exploit the fact that others won't want the awkwardness of having to confront them. However, I've been in so many awkward encounters, that I've become accustomed to it... You know how some comics say they actually like when their jokes bomb, because they enjoy the challenge of having to apply their skill to win the crowd back? It's like that. I actually relish the uncomfortable exchanges now, because I'm not the one put off by it anymore. The other person is... & that's a kind of leverage. Quick example: At work, I haul carts around on elevators, & people always try to push into the elevator, while I'm trying to unload, too inconsiderate to bother with some basic etiquette. So now, I stand pressed right up to the door, so that when it opens, at least a couple times a week, I'm face to face with someone, who thought they could barge in, & I just stare at them until they step aside, because it's awkward to have me silently all up in your personal space, but I'm not the one at fault, & they now have to accept that lol It's the same when I'm moving a 900lb cart down a hall, & chattering D-Bags don't want to clear the way. I just park it right next to them, smile & watch them chat, like I'm in on their private conversation. I don't excuse myself in any way, because I need no excuse, & they are, in short order, sufficiently put off by it & move. Those are just tiny things. I'm doing more & more of it lately, & it's become a fun little hobby... fucking with people who deserve it. The person who just doesn't give a shit about whether they're being likable has a real advantage there. In a way, I've become like a Zen master of being an asshole.