Memory Beta help, please.

[Data Holmes]

The Grapes of Picard

Captain Picard, after a triumphant career in Starfleet, has retired to the family vineyard in Labarre, France. He looks forward to a simple life making fine wine and raising a family, free from the dangers of his former career.

But Picard soon finds himself embroiled in bitter conflict once again as an ancient otherworldly evil is unearthed in the very fields he tends! With the fate of the Federation at stake, Picard must abandon all that he holds dear in order to fight back.

Coming next month from Dayton Ward, the next thrilling saga in Captain Picard's life: The Grapes of Picard!

I'd buy it.

 

[Dayton Ward]

AP:Kalamazoo, MI. Writer Dayton Ward announced today that he will be releasing *CENSORED* in late 2009. The news was met with screams of joy from the members of the Dayton Ward Official Fan Club, both of whom were later taken away for observation. The announcement was made on the front steps of the Kalamazoo Facility For The Criminally Insane, where Mr. Ward has been residing for the past six years. Immediately after the announcement, the ball-gag was replaced and Mr. Ward was returned to the Isolation Ward.

Well, the words "Dayton Ward" and "ball-gag" should never appear in the same paragraph, and certainly not the same sentence, unless the usage is something akin to "Dayton Ward beat the crap out of the heckler with a ball-gag. Why a ball-gag? Because the dildo belonging to the heckler's sexually frustrated girlfriend was out of Ward's reach."

 

[Mistral]

Touche. But its "sexually frustrated wife", not "girlfriend".

 

[Dayton Ward]

Yeah, but I don't seek to include spouses (or children, or dead relatives) in the casualty radius when I drop a SarcastiBomb. Everyone else? Fair game

 

[TerriO]

Yeah, but I don't seek to include spouses (or children, or dead relatives) in the casualty radius when I drop a SarcastiBomb. Everyone else? Fair game

Wimp.

I firmly believe in the fine art of creative collateral sarcastidamage.

 

[Mistral]

Yeah, but I don't seek to include spouses (or children, or dead relatives) in the casualty radius when I drop a SarcastiBomb. Everyone else? Fair game

Wimp.

I firmly believe in the fine art of creative collateral sarcastidamage.

In which case we should all hide in a bum shelter until all of the SarcastiBombs have fallen.

 

[William Leisner]

Kinda makes "friendly fire" sound like even more of an oxymoron, huh?

 

[Mistral]

Kinda makes "friendly fire" sound like even more of an oxymoron, huh?

Friends closer and all of that. Oh, fyi-no typos in previous post-I don't believe in typos.

 

[Lorraine Anderson]

^ It's not secrecy, it's discretion, as I'm working on something which hasn't yet been announced.

That's right, folks. And here's the official press release:

AP:Kalamazoo, MI. Writer Dayton Ward announced today that he will be releasing *CENSORED* in late 2009. The news was met with screams of joy from the members of the Dayton Ward Official Fan Club, both of whom were later taken away for observation. The announcement was made on the front steps of the Kalamazoo Facility For The Criminally Insane, where Mr. Ward has been residing for the past six years. Immediately after the announcement, the ball-gag was replaced and Mr. Ward was returned to the Isolation Ward.

And we who went to Western Michigan University in Kalamazoo used to call the Kalamazoo facility for the insane "South Campus". S'truth. Ask any WMU graduate.

Dayton.... I didn't know you were in Kalamazoo!

 

[Jim Johnson]

I find the lack of "stygians" in this thread disturbing.

 

[Dayton Ward]

^ You'll be happy to know that "the Stygian Darkness" factors into what I'm working on.

 

[Turbo]

Damn, there goes my NaNo idea. Back to the drawing board.