'Knee-deep in the hoopla' and other horrible song lyrics

[Shazam!]

99% of all lyrics are terrible

 

[Greg Cox]

From the immortal ouevre of Katy Perry:

"Boom, boom, boom!
"Brighter than the moon, moon, moon."

 

[marillion]

Steve Miller is the king of forced lyrics.

I always thought that of Graham Bonnet. Every song he ever wrote seemed like it had way too many words crammed in.

Maybe a different idea of forced.


As far as Starship, if they didn't put "knee deep in the hoopla" into one of the songs, they'd never have justified the album title

And I was going to say that about Greg Lake (Much as I love ELP)...

"By the dark gloss on your eyes... And your flesh has crystalized..."

"Every day a little sadder.. A little madder.. Someone get me a ladder..."

 

[Temis the Vorta]

There are no bad lyrics like classic bad lyrics. For the edification of the young'uns, here are the Top Five Worst Song Lyrics of All Time:

5. Afternoon Delight. Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite/ looking forward to a little afternoon delight/ Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite/ and the thought of rubbin' you is getting so exciting.

Yes, that image is very appetizing.

4. Seasons in the Sun. Goodbye my friend, it's hard to die/ when all the birds are singing in the sky/ Now that the spring is in the air/ Pretty girls are everywhere/ When you see them I'll be there

This guy could give emo lessons to a teenage vampire.

3. I am...I said. I am, I said/ To no one there/ And no one heard at all/ Not even the chair

Would he really have been happier to discover that his chair is sentient?

2. In the Year 2525. Now it's been 10,000 years/ Man has cried a billion tears/ For what he never knew/ Now man's reign is through/ But through the eternal night/ The twinkling of starlight/blahblahblahblah

That song makes you wish for the extinction of the human race.

1. MacArthur Park. Someone left a cake out in the rain/ I don't think that I can take it / Because it took so long to bake it/ And I'll never have that recipe again.

That metaphor can't take the strain. She's gonna blow captain!!!

 

[Greg Cox]

2. In the Year 2525. Now it's been 10,000 years/ Man has cried a billion tears/ For what he never knew/ Now man's reign is through/ But through the eternal night/ The twinkling of starlight/blahblahblahblah

!!!

Hey, the credits sequence for Cleopatra 2525 justifies that song's existence!

 

[The Boy Who Cried Worf]

Anytime the line "I'm a sex-shooter baby" is used.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Temis, thanks for quoting "I Am...I Said" for me.

Actually I feel that Neil Diamond is more tolerable like this:

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1eA0wFb-HM[/yt]

 

[Mr. Adventure]

One that has bugged me since I noticed it is from America's Horse with No Name is the line "There were plants and birds and rocks and things". "And Things"?!?! Really?

Then the following line is "There was sand and hills and rings.". Rings? Then you realize he came up with some bullshit to keep things instead of vice versa!

 

[David cgc]

4. Seasons in the Sun. Goodbye my friend, it's hard to die/ when all the birds are singing in the sky/ Now that the spring is in the air/ Pretty girls are everywhere/ When you see them I'll be there

This guy could give emo lessons to a teenage vampire.

To be fair, in a later verse, he mentions that this guy nailed his wife. It makes "I'll be there" when he's checking out the pretty girls just a tick more sinister. Like Hamlet or something.

Actually, that must've been the worst deathbed ever. He's with his dad, so you know he's dying young, along with his slutty, infidelious wife, and his best friend, with whom she has slept.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

You want to talk horrible song lyrics, how about the Rivingtons (sp?), who have songs which have the ENTIRE LYRICS express one theme, such as:

- "Papa oo mow mow" (repeat 1 billion times)

- "The bird is the word" (well, no shit, anyone who reads a dictionary knows that )

 

[Captaindemotion]

4. Seasons in the Sun. Goodbye my friend, it's hard to die/ when all the birds are singing in the sky/ Now that the spring is in the air/ Pretty girls are everywhere/ When you see them I'll be there

This guy could give emo lessons to a teenage vampire.

To be fair, in a later verse, he mentions that this guy nailed his wife. It makes "I'll be there" when he's checking out the pretty girls just a tick more sinister. Like Hamlet or something.

Actually, that must've been the worst deathbed ever. He's with his dad, so you know he's dying young, along with his slutty, infidelious wife, and his best friend, with whom she has slept.

I believe it's translated from a French song.

 

[CaptMurdock]

One that has bugged me since I noticed it is from America's Horse with No Name is the line "There were plants and birds and rocks and things". "And Things"?!?! Really?

Then the following line is "There was sand and hills and rings.". Rings? Then you realize he came up with some bullshit to keep things instead of vice versa!

And how could we forget: "The ocean is a desert with its life underground/and the perfect of skies above." What??

Of course, to quote the late Mr. Jeni "You're out there in the desert, nothing to do. Name the goddamn horse!"

You want to talk horrible song lyrics, how about the Rivingtons (sp?), who have songs which have the ENTIRE LYRICS express one theme, such as:

- "Papa oo mow mow" (repeat 1 billion times)

- "The bird is the word" (well, no shit, anyone who reads a dictionary knows that )

Hang on. Wasn't the Rivingtons' "Papa Oom Mow Mow" an answer song to "Surfin' Bird," which had the POMM couplet? The Rivs were saying that it's a weird lyric and they don't understand it. Besides, their song is way better than "Surfin' Bird."

[Edit]: My bad. Other way around -- POMM was first. It's still the better song.

 

[Temis the Vorta]

One that has bugged me since I noticed it is from America's Horse with No Name is the line "There were plants and birds and rocks and things". "And Things"?!?! Really?

Then the following line is "There was sand and hills and rings.". Rings? Then you realize he came up with some bullshit to keep things instead of vice versa!

I personally give that one a pass because I think they're trying to re-create the mindset of some guy who's been wandering the desert for days with no water and no shade. A day after his skin starts to turn red, he calls the desert "fun"? And then when he finally gets to water, it's the ocean and he can't drink it. Clearly, he is going insane because of the arbitrary cruelty of the cosmos. Anyway, that's my theory.

And how could we forget: "The ocean is a desert with its life underground/and the perfect of skies above." What??

"Perfect disguise above." That part is fairly coherent. But this guy claims can remember his own name, yet never tells us what it is, which is highly suspicious. Furthermore, he insists his horse has no name, like he couldn't just give the horse a name if he wanted to. I think he's lost it.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

One that has bugged me since I noticed it is from America's Horse with No Name is the line "There were plants and birds and rocks and things". "And Things"?!?! Really?

Then the following line is "There was sand and hills and rings.". Rings? Then you realize he came up with some bullshit to keep things instead of vice versa!

Quote from the late great Richard Jeni:

"You're in a desert. You got nothing else to do. NAME THE HORSE!!!"

 

[Captaindemotion]

^ Ha, very good!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

How can we have a thread about horrible lyrics without once mentioning Shirley Ellis?

 

[Nerys Myk]

Those are called fun lyrics.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Those are called fun lyrics.

 

[scotpens]

4. Seasons in the Sun. Goodbye my friend, it's hard to die/ when all the birds are singing in the sky/ Now that the spring is in the air/ Pretty girls are everywhere/ When you see them I'll be there

This guy could give emo lessons to a teenage vampire.

To be fair, in a later verse, he mentions that this guy nailed his wife. It makes "I'll be there" when he's checking out the pretty girls just a tick more sinister. Like Hamlet or something.

Actually, that must've been the worst deathbed ever. He's with his dad, so you know he's dying young, along with his slutty, infidelious wife, and his best friend, with whom she has slept.

I believe it's translated from a French song.

And nobody does bad, cheesy pop music like the French. Especially in the 1970s and ’80s.

Oh . . . “infidelious”???


Don’t forget the master of cliché, Paul Anka:

Yes there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall
And did it my way.

Just don’t spit it out on me, pal. Frank Sinatra himself thought that song was pretty hokey.

 

[Random_Spock]

For some reason I have had the Jefferson Starship song 'We Built This City on Rock and Roll' running through my head for the past day and a half, and while the entire song is super-cheesy, the line 'knee-deep in the hoopla' is just cringe worthy.

We haven't had a bad song lyrics thread in a while, what else ya got?

I like that song . Yes the lyrics are cheesy but I don't mind.

'Everybody (Backstreet's back)' -- Backstreet Boys

Am I original?
Yeah
Am I the only one?
Yeah
Am I sexual?
Yeah

What the? No, just no...