Kids Say The Darndest Things!

[ShamelessMcBundy]

So my niece looked up at me after helping her with her homework and she asked me this:

My Niece: Is it true that some people are Black?
Me, trying to hold back my laughter: Yes, Val.


So i ask you all to share the adorable, hilarious, and adorably hilarious things the young ones in our families have said.

 

[{ Emilia }]

My favourite question asked by a kid: "How did you access the internet before there were computers?"

 

[thestrangequark]

Oh man...I taught public school for 6 years, do I have some great ones. My all time favorite, though:

"Miss Hannah, is it true that Catholics don't believe in monkeys?"

 

[Zulu Romeo]

"Miss Hannah, is it true that Catholics don't believe in monkeys?"

There's a Primate joke to be made somewhere...

 

[Miss Chicken]

I was on the bus with my two sons, and I was very pregnant with my third child. My eldest son, who was five years old, first asked if the baby would come out between my legs like he did, or if it would be cut out like his brother was. I answered that I didn't know. He then said

"Mum, is the baby still being feed by the umbrella cord".

Another time I was on the bus with eldest son when a young lady got on the bus. She was wearing silky trousers, one leg of which was green, the other leg red. She was also wearing a silky to. She had hair dyed in a leopard pattern.

My son said loudly enough for her and everyone on the bus to hear.

"Mum, Mum, look, its a clown!"

 

[Shanndee]

Many years ago my friend's little brother came running outside to join us on a walk.

Friend: "You've got you shoes on the wrong feet!"
Friend's brother, close to tears: "But these are the only feet that I have!"

 

[1001001]

My Son (9 years old): "Dad did you ever notice that brown people always have black hair?"
Me: "Brown people?"
My Son: "Yeah, you know. Like President Obama brown."


My Son: "Dad, what is 'The Talk' about?"
Me: "The Talk?"
My Son: "Yeah, like the one teenagers get. I hear about it on TV."
Me: "What do you think it's about?"
My Son: "Oh, probably about going to college and getting a job and having money."
Me: "No, it's about sex."
My Son: "Why would you want to talk about something as disgusting as that?!!?"

 

[Finn]

Student: I had a snake when I was a kid. It eats... but where does it go?
Me: it poops
Student: But I looked and there was no hole.

 

[Flying Spaghetti Monster]

years ago, my niece and nephew were at the Norwegian restaurant in Epcot, and he was maybe one or two and she was maybe four or five. Eventually she got sick of his crying so she said, and I quote;

'I don't want a little brother anymore! He's too much work for me to do!'

 

[MLJames]

When I was very little, the Catholic Church began allowing nuns to wear a habit closer to "civilian" wear, rather than the far more severe, floor-length black outfits of the old tradition. My dad used to love telling the story about the first time we saw one of the nuns in our parish wearing one of the new outfits at Sunday Mass. According to him, I turned to him, eyes as big as saucers, and whispered, "Daddy! She's got feet!"

 

[Flying Spaghetti Monster]

once i was showing a five year old my old Optimus Prime toy from the 80's.

I showed him the truck cab.. and he liked it... wanted to play with it like a toy truck.. then, real quick.. i converted it to it's robot mode..

the kid was aghast with amazement, and he wanted to know where the truck was..

i quickly changed it back..

I did this a few times, and he was aghast each time...

'Where's the truck? Where did it go?'

'"Where's the man?'

 

[Misfit Toy]

Years ago when my son was still in the potty-training stage, he commented that his penis was little. I told him that he was still growing, and that it would be bigger when he was grown up.

He said: "No, I'm going to be a doctor."

 

[Captain Shaw]

Years ago when my son was still in the potty-training stage, he commented that his penis was little. I told him that he was still growing, and that it would be bigger when he was grown up.

He said: "No, I'm going to be a doctor."

I'm glad I finished my tea before I read this thread.