Keiko and O'Brien, should they have been divorced?

[Mr. Scott]

I never thought that Miles O'Brien and Keiko were that great of a couple. She did not seem very happy being a Starfleet wife and living on ships and space stations and whatnot.

There just wasn't that much chemistry between them and/or the actors. That relationship was one of distance, which is not a bad thing necessarily. There were a lot of episodes where she was "in Bajor". Then when they were together, they would argue all the time.

I live in China and have a Chinese wife, and like my wife, the Chinese woman are very strong

The little girl on the show (Molly) was a brat! That kid needed a holographic spanking.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

What do Chinese women have to do with it?

Should they have got divorced? No, they seemed to make it work. She has her career and he respects that enough to send her off to spend long months with her plants. He has Julian and she accepts that enough to send him off to spend long evenings at darts. We see them both make peace with the distance in their relationship and make it work. That's two people being honest about their needs and incorporating them into their relationship rather than trying to smush some closeness or whatever people think you need for a good marriage into one that, well, doesn't actually need it.

 

[Tiberius]

Keiko was Japanese. her maiden name was Ishikawa.

 

[Shatinator]

What do Chinese women have to do with it?

Should they have got divorced? No, they seemed to make it work. She has her career and he respects that enough to send her off to spend long months with her plants. He has Julian and she accepts that enough to send him off to spend long evenings at darts. We see them both make peace with the distance in their relationship and make it work. That's two people being honest about their needs and incorporating them into their relationship rather than trying to smush some closeness or whatever people think you need for a good marriage into one that, well, doesn't actually need it.

This is all true, yet it does seem she was unhappy. And perhaps this is the problem, it appeared to be a bland agreeable relationship of assocaition, instead of a passionette marriage, or even a sense of fondness for each other.

-The Shatinator

 

[Admiral Shran]

There were a lot of episodes where she was "in Bajor".

She was inside Bajor?

Damn, those Bajorans are serious about their biological expeditions.

Should they have got divorced? No, they seemed to make it work. She has her career and he respects that enough to send her off to spend long months with her plants. He has Julian and she accepts that enough to send him off to spend long evenings at darts. We see them both make peace with the distance in their relationship and make it work. That's two people being honest about their needs and incorporating them into their relationship rather than trying to smush some closeness or whatever people think you need for a good marriage into one that, well, doesn't actually need it.

Very well stated.

Some people need closeness in a relationship, there's nothing wrong with that. Some others, however, don't need it and can be happy with distance in the relationship. There's nothing wrong with that either.

Miles and Keiko were a type of couple you don't see much of on modern television. They had their problems, but worked through them instead of letting them destroy their marriage. Most TV couples split up at the drop of a hat. I applaud DS9 for how their marriage was handled.

 

[Thestral]

Absolutely no! That's one of the things I really appreciate about DS9 - Miles and Keiko, while rarely a focus, never fell into the tv-romance trap (aside from that execrable bit during Kira's pregnancy).

It helps that I never found Keiko annoying I guess.

 

[Praxius]

I used to think the same way, questioning why the hell they ever got together in the first place, when even their marriage on TNG was filled with fighting and doubts.

But my wife liked them, she liked Keiko for being a normal, everyday mother and wife who didn't give two craps about all the starfleet mumbo jumbo. I used to think they got into fights constantly and that's all their relationship was...... but after going through TNG and DS9 a couple of times, I grew to see that their relationship may not have been perfect, but it was "Real" in that they each had their concerns, their likes and their dislikes..... they had fights, but they were always willing to work them out and make their relationship work.

I can't say that my marriage has as many fights as they did on the show, but there were a few both my wife and I could relate to.... like the red dress situation, lol.... Guys don't care too much about what we do or what we wear, nor do we care what our wives wear or what they want to do.... so long as they're happy..... we're happy.

But the conflict occurs when the wife is tired of making the decisions and want us to pick something..... we don't care what we do really, so we after a while pick an idea out that sounds good to us..... then the wife either sighs or criticizes the idea and so we get more discouraged and don't bother suggesting anything in the first place, which puts the onus of deciding back on her, which creates the conflict in the first place.

Either that or we as the husband think of something we'd like, suggest it in a form of a question, and that in turn sounds to the wife that we're asking them to decide again, when we're just wanting to see if there's any opposition to the suggestion.... which of course ends up getting them more frustrated, while getting us frustrated at the same time.

Example:
"Miles, I didn't say I was going to! I just meant I could use some."

"That's okay. If you need to sleep, go ahead! I'll understand."

"No, you won't. You'll be disappointed and you'll start brooding and stomping around like an Andorian bull."

He understood, he might be slightly disappointed, but he completely understood that she was tired and wasn't going to push it any further, but her being tired made her patience quite low, took it for more then what was meant..... it's a guy/girl thing :P

While there were moments that Keiko annoyed me with her complaining, but I saw over the episodes I re-watched that they both did care for one another and that both of them seemed the most relative to today's family and way of life them most others on the show.

As for Molly.... she seemed fine and certainly not a brat..... and if there was a time when an example was needed to show how united their family was, it was the episode "Time's Orphan"

 

[indolover]

DS9's relationships were the best played out in all Trek iMO.

Sisko/Kassidy, Worf/Jadzia and Julian/Ezri were well scripted. at least each party complemented the other. In TNG, Picard didn't complement Vash, nor did Worf complement Troi.

 

[Thestral]

I must be one of the few out there that thought the Worf/Troi relationship actually made quite a bit of sense, even if it did at first make me go

 

[Pemmer Harge]

I must be one of the few out there that thought the Worf/Troi relationship actually made quite a bit of sense, even if it did at first make me go

I liked Miles and Keiko. I'm always a little confused to hear about how they were fighting all the time, because that's not how I recall it.

 

[Mary Ann]

DS9's relationships were the best played out in all Trek iMO.

Sisko/Kassidy, Worf/Jadzia and Julian/Ezri were well scripted. at least each party complemented the other. In TNG, Picard didn't complement Vash, nor did Worf complement Troi.

I agree about DS9 having the most believable relationships. Every relationship takes a lot of hard work, and Miles and Keiko demonstrate this. I always liked the fact that they didn't compliment each other perfectly, as it allowed for better storylines and for me to relate to the characters because they were far more realistic than any perfect couple.

I'm in the minority who liked the Troi/Worf relationship. I can see why they were drawn to each other, and it would have been interesting to see that relationship go further, or to at least have seen their break-up.

 

[Praxius]

I didn't mind the Worf/Troi relationship either.... she helped him a lot when it came to his dishonor as well as taking care of Alexander.... not to mention he asked her to be his caregiver if he died during his spinal operation and she went on holodeck adventures with both Worf and Alexander (Fist full of Datas for example).... he respected her and she respected him and I believe their contrasts in personality are what drew them together.

But the reason why I think their relationship never lasted had more to do with the age old saying "Bro's before Ho's" ~ Not that I believe Troi was one, but it was apparent Worf didn't like the thought of trampling on Riker's shoes and past relationships as all things considered.... Riker was Worf's best friend on the Enterprise. (All the joking they did back and forth, mostly Riker was the joker, Riker's involved understanding of his culture and beliefs, the incident between Riker and Worf when he wanted to end his life, fighting on the holodeck, etc.)

 

[Bones2]

They should never ever divorce. It doesn't matter how much they grow to hate each other, they have two children and should stay together for their sake.

 

[MNM]

This is all true, yet it does seem she was unhappy. And perhaps this is the problem, it appeared to be a bland agreeable relationship of assocaition, instead of a passionette marriage, or even a sense of fondness for each other.

I blame the lack of chemistry between the two actors.

DS9's relationships were the best played out in all Trek iMO.

Sisko/Kassidy,

Another realtionship where I thought the actors lacked chemistry.

 

[Praxius]

They should never ever divorce. It doesn't matter how much they grow to hate each other, they have two children and should stay together for their sake.

Speaking as someone who comes from a Divorced family, in some cases, divorce is far better then the parents remaining together being constantly at each other's throats and bringing up the children in a very unhealthy environment which can lead the children into thinking this is what a normal marriage is supposed to be like.... or may be completely turned off by marriage altogether.

Children should be brought up in an environment of happiness and love, not in an environment of hatred, spitefulness and violence held together by financial convenience.

My parents are now more happier then I ever remember them being as I grew up, as they finally got into the relationships they always wanted to be in, rather then their relationship with each other that was pressured into marriage my their parents because of it being the 70's and many of them holding mentalities like what you express towards marriage somehow magically being the solution to having happy, successful children.

If my parents didn't agree to the pressure applied to them and got married because of my mother being pregnant with my sister, my family would have kicked them out of the family altogether, as being the normal thing to do at the time because the family being fearful of what the rest of the community would think of them.

Because my parents are happy, I am happy..... divorce should never be used as a quick fix solution to something people are too lazy to deal with anymore..... relationships always need work in one way or another..... but in some instances, remaining in a marriage just for the sake of the children not only can be harmful, both mentally and physically to the child, but the parents as well.

But that's a different subject I suppose.

 

[DS9 Gal AZ]

I never realized how many people thought Keiko was an unreasonable, bitchy shrew that poor, nice Miles had to put up with until I started reading on other boards (not this one). I always thought that their marriage was portrayed very realisitically, and I like that. It wasn't all hearts and flowers 24/7. The bickered, they bantered, she nagged, he pouted, but at the end of the day, they loved each other and made it work. I don't think they needed to divorce at all. Just because they had some fights doesn't mean they needed to throw in the towel.

 

[StarryEyed]

In my opinion, if you're constantly having to "work and compromise" to make a relationship work, it's a bad relationship. Life is too short to put up with that crap - even with the 120+ lifespans in the 24th century.

IMHO, the divorce rate could be cut in half if every man applying for a marriage license was required to watch all the Trek episodes with Keiko in it.

 

[Nerys Ghemor]

This is all true, yet it does seem she was unhappy. And perhaps this is the problem, it appeared to be a bland agreeable relationship of assocaition, instead of a passionette marriage, or even a sense of fondness for each other.

That's the problem I had...frankly, I think there was a fundamental difference in the lifestyles they wanted. Either Keiko should have accepted where Miles got stationed (or conversely, accepted that like a modern-day Navy wife, her husband would only be coming home for occasional visits), OR Miles should have gotten out of Starfleet when they got married. One of the two needed to budge, and neither one did. And that, I think, was the root of the problem and why, if neither one was going to budge, they should not have been together.

I do think Keiko was by far the worse member of the couple, and Miles did everything SHORT of leaving Starfleet to try to placate her, but without that (or Keiko reconciling herself to DS9, maybe working harder to find a job on Bajor in her field that would be permanent, etc.), it just wasn't going to ever be a healthy marriage. No wonder Miles spent so much time playing darts with Bashir...just look what he had to come home to!

(Not to mention I feel bad for Molly and Yoshi having to hear all of that.)

 

[MeanJoePhaser]

In my opinion, if you're constantly having to "work and compromise" to make a relationship work, it's a bad relationship. Life is too short to put up with that crap - even with the 120+ lifespans in the 24th century.

IMHO, the divorce rate could be cut in half if every man applying for a marriage license was required to watch all the Trek episodes with Keiko in it.

Especially the one where Keiko's possessed by a pah-wraith.

Though, she was pretty hot like that.

 

[StarryEyed]

In my opinion, if you're constantly having to "work and compromise" to make a relationship work, it's a bad relationship. Life is too short to put up with that crap - even with the 120+ lifespans in the 24th century.

IMHO, the divorce rate could be cut in half if every man applying for a marriage license was required to watch all the Trek episodes with Keiko in it.

Especially the one where Keiko's possessed by a pah-wraith.

Though, she was pretty hot like that.

I actually liked her in that one. Of course the fact that I liked the Pah Wraith more than Keiko speaks volumes. The only episode I liked the real Keiko in was In The Hands of the Prophets. Of course in that case, she was squaring off against Kai Winn, the supreme bitch of the universe.