Kate Mulgrew's Memoir "Born with Teeth".

Discussion in 'Star Trek: Voyager' started by JanewayRulz!, Apr 12, 2015.

  1. teacake

    teacake Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    JRulz is an archival wonder of clips and information, she is a GEM!

    :)
     
  2. JanewayRulz!

    JanewayRulz! Vice Admiral Admiral

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    I AM... aren't I.

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  3. bbailey861

    bbailey861 Admiral Premium Member

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    Kate was on Canada AM this morning. A very good interview, where she says one of the reasons she wrote it was, "My parents had died and I was ready. I wanted to recall vividly each pivotal incident in my life." She is well spoken, challenges the interviewer, in control, and knows exactly what she wants to say. Enough, in fact, that I am going to get this book and read it.
     
  4. JanewayRulz!

    JanewayRulz! Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Last edited: Apr 22, 2016
  5. Captain Kathryn

    Captain Kathryn Commodore Commodore

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    Spending the morning-afternoon finishing up the book! :D So far I am loving it. Her writing style is so true to the way she speaks that I can almost hear her saying the words haha.

    Another memoir just came out yesterday that I need to read as well which is awesome. :)
     
  6. teacake

    teacake Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    What is it Captain Kathryn?
     
  7. JanewayRulz!

    JanewayRulz! Vice Admiral Admiral

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    I think this article is interesting for two things.

    What it leaves IN about Kate's trip home (Mother Columba) and what it leaves out (the whole mess with the adoption and Cardinal Cooke).

    http://www.catholicsun.org/2015/05/...a-hometown-reflects-on-life-during-book-tour/

    I also like the comment from brother Sam, that Kate wasn't the ONLY Mulgrew that made a nun cry. :guffaw:

    Does this include even more photos of May 4th's event, or does it just seem like it?

    http://www.broadwayworld.com/articl...H-TEETH-for-Vineyard-Theatre-Benefit-20150504

    Yet another positive review.

    http://lacrossetribune.com/entertai...cle_9ddad8b6-adb9-52e0-8338-60a1ef17e496.html
     
  8. Beawild

    Beawild Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

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    Yeah, funny how they omitted the fact that they wouldn't reverse the adoption, although Kate changed her mind right after giving birth. The article doesn't mention how they took the baby outside of NY, against the agreement they had made with Kate. It also doesn't mention that the baby was given to a cousin of Cardinal Cooke and that they stonewalled Kate for over 20 years. Screw them!!! :sigh:

    Nice pic :)

    [​IMG]
     
  9. JanewayRulz!

    JanewayRulz! Vice Admiral Admiral

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    You know who I feel sorry for? (Although if Kate had her way they would have been screwed anyway) I feel sorry for the original couple she picked out, the ones who'd been waiting for (?) 10+ years for a child and was told by phone that they were about to get a baby within the week.

    Wonder what they were told when the baby didn't show up? :confused:

    Was it mentioned at her talk that the baby went to a relative of the Cardinal's, or have you picked that up somewhere else. I don't recall Kate spelling that out in the book, although one of the interviews said she omitted some stuff to spare Danielle and her adopted family.
     
  10. Beawild

    Beawild Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

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    Kate mentioned it in the book. Although, I think I made a mistake about them being cousins of the Cardinal.

    The nun who she spoke to at a benefit was Sister Una McCormack. She was a lieutenant for Cardinal Cooke and the Executive Director of the Catholic Home Bureau.

    Kate told the nun that through her private investigators she found out that the baby was not given to the couple that she had chosen. That she was given to a couple in MA because the Cardinal had a relative who knew someone who wanted a baby.

    I think that's the real reason why the nun had told Kate in the past that the adoption papers had been burned in a fire. It was by then 20 years later and Kate had had enough. The nun finally relented and agreed to send to Kate's hotel documents from the International Soundex Reunion Registry. She told Kate to fill them out and mail them, which she did. The nun, my half Irish Catholic upbringing prevents me from calling this woman what she deserves to be called, knew all along where Kate's baby was and who had adopted her.

    Back in CA, Kate got the fateful call from the agency first and then from her daughter at 5 AM while waiting to go on set.

    I too feel sorry for the couple that was told that there was no baby. I hope that they got another baby later on. BTW, an interesting bit of trivia, Kate named the baby Phoebe. As we all know here, that's the name of Captain Janeway's sister. :)
     
  11. JanewayRulz!

    JanewayRulz! Vice Admiral Admiral

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    And her middle name was Columba, for her mother's great friend.

    I wonder if Mother Columba will make it into the 2nd book. IIRC, Kate mentioned this woman at one of the cons I actually attended, with great fondness and respect.

    As for the stonewalling nun... that's a job I would not want to have. People come to you with longing, wanting desperately to adopt a child for reasons both altruistic and self serving. Pregnant women, usually single, come to you with fear and dread, making for themselves one of the hardest decisions they've probably ever had to make in their young (?) lives. And as with many things, after the decision has been made to give the baby up, for all the right/wrong reasons, the 2nd guessing starts and the recanting begins.

    For the family that accepts the child into their home, how long does the fear last that someone will one day arrive and take that bundle of joy they've agreed to raise, away from them.

    I know of a family that had that happen to them on the eve of their final adoption hearing for the foster child who had lived with them for 2 years. They were simply devastated.

    Don't get me wrong, I love the woman Kate grew into, but what struck me about her memoir was the "child" Kate was for so long.

    Would Danielle's life have been better if Kate kept her, sent her to live with her tired out, heart broken parents and a nanny at Derby Grange without the benefit of 5 siblings to play with the whole live long day. Only seeing her mother when she stopped by enroute to the next play in Seattle or TV show in Hollywood, or movie in Ireland? Would the men who were courting Kate have been as interested in being with a young single mother as they were in being with a single woman mourning the loss of her first child? Would Kate start resenting her decision to keep the child if her mother and siblings began haranguing her to show up more often and take a more active role in her daughter's upbringing just as Kate's career was trying to take off?

    Had the stonewalling nun seen similar scenarios happen before, with young women who changed their minds and took back the child, only to find those hardships they feared did come to pass and the child suffered for it?

    Unfortunately, we all can't have the wisdom of Solomon. At least the stonewaller did breach protocol (?) by sending both Mulgrew and Danielle the paperwork that ultimately brought them back together.
     
  12. RagazzaMatta

    RagazzaMatta Lieutenant Junior Grade Red Shirt

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    Agreed. And it definitely still happens today. I was also raised in a religious home, and when my parents found out I was pregnant before finishing school and without me or the father having a job, they aren't too pleased. A lot of people encouraged me to have an abortion, others suggested adoption, but my parents stood by me and supported me when I told them I wanted to keep the baby.
    But there were and still are a lot of people, even my age, who've shamed me or called my son an "accident".

    So I can't even imagine what it would've been like back then.
     
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  13. Beawild

    Beawild Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

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    Well, no one has a crystal ball. So we don't know how Danielle, or Phoebe as Kate named her, would have turned out if she had stayed with Kate. She seems to have been a good mother to her sons. I don't think that she would have left her child permanently in IN. She said that she just needed help at the beginning. Maybe she wanted her mom to stay with her in NY and help her out for a few months. She had made enough money on the soap to pay for a nanny.

    Who knows? What I find appalling is the fact that she wasn't able to change her mind right after giving birth to the baby. It wasn't as if she waited years to try to reclaim her parental rights. The Catholic Church treated single mothers as harlots who didn't deserve to have their babies with them because they sinned, therefore little compassion was spared for them. Ever watch the movie Philomena? That was just one case out of thousands.

    I don't know much about adoption laws, but I think that they have evolved and the mothers do have a grace period to change their minds.

    As for dating men, they would have had to accept her daughter or move on. Just as it is for any other woman who is dating and has children.


    RagazzaMatta, you were brave to keep your child. You were also fortunate that you had the support of your parents. In Kate's case she didn't. The boyfriend wanted her to have an abortion and her mother was the one who told her to put the baby up for adoption. Poor woman, she must have been so scared and confused. Far away from home and with no one to support her when she needed them most.
     
  14. JanewayRulz!

    JanewayRulz! Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Oh, I'm not excusing the lack of a "grace" period or the stonewaller's actions, I'm just trying to walk a mile in the nun's shoes.

    Add to that the political ramifications of a Cardinal's wishes coloring the picture makes it even more difficult for the nun if ever she did consider helping Kate out.

    Making this story known, of keeping mother and baby apart, might even color his chances of being canonized (I googled him last night to see when he died) , especially if this story brings out others like it in the future.

    Kate didn't have the support of her family, that is quite true. One wonders if Claire or her great friend Beth would have been there "for her" if she decided to keep the baby. I can imagine them keeping their mouths shut on the option of keeping her, once Kate decided to give the baby up.

    As for people shaming those who kept their child, RagazzaMatta, it truly is they who should be ashamed.

    Heck, 15 years after Kate gave up her child, in the early 1990's, the Vice President of the United States made a fool of himself by trying to shame a fictional TV character (Murphy Brown) for making the choice to keep her child.

    http://www.vh1.com/celebrity/2014-10-20/murphy-brown-candice-bergen-single-mother-controversy/


    I'm glad I don't have a crystal ball, and IIRC, so is Kate. She said (in the book, in an interview ??) if she knew about all the things that were going to happen to her as she grew up, she may have never left Iowa.

    At least for Kate and Danielle, unlike Philomena, their story has a happy ending.
     
    Last edited: May 8, 2015
  15. Beawild

    Beawild Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

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    Actually, it's Cooke's actions that angered me the most. He took a baby and went against a signed agreement, giving the child to a different couple just because an acquaintance of a relative wanted a baby. Then the Church proceeded to stonewall the birth mother for two decades, even lying to her. The nun pretended not to know where the baby had been placed, whereas she knew all along, due to the Cardinal's interest in that particular baby. I find that appalling.

    BTW, I'm half Irish and attended a boarding school that was run by Irish nuns (Sisters of Mercy). I have fond memories of them, they were progressive, but I know how the Church works and their hypocrisy. Single mothers were deemed to be whores, but not a peep about the myriad of priests who abused children. THAT they hid until the 80s when a slew of victims finally spoke out. Hypocritical bast.... :mad:

    As for Dan Quayle, he was and is an idiot. :rolleyes:

    The only saving grace out of the whole thing is that Kate and Danielle are finally reunited and have developed a close relationship. :)
     
  16. C. Cole-Chakotay

    C. Cole-Chakotay Commodore Commodore

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    Personally, as an adoptee, I think Kate should have stayed OUT of her daughter's life. She gave her up for adoption, the baby was placed in a home. The end for Kate. I was raised by my PARENTS in a loving family. Even though I am adopted, I consider them my relatives, not my birth family.
     
  17. Catarina

    Catarina Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    After I was born I was whisked away into foster care for 18 months. The social workers made it very hard for my mother to get me back. I was fostered by an Irish Catholic family with 10 natural children. They planned on keeping me if mother gave up.
     
  18. Beawild

    Beawild Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

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    It was up to Danielle to meet her birth mother or not to do so. It wasn't forced on her. Just like it's not forced on birth mothers if they choose not to meet the child they gave up. Danielle decided to meet Kate and it has worked great for them. She and Kate have formed a close bond. I'm sorry that you don't agree. You may have no interest in meeting your birth parents, but other people do. There's infinite room in the heart to love. Danielle seems to have come to terms with the reason why Kate gave her up and she speaks very fondly of Kate. At one of her book signings Kate joked that she talks more often with Danielle than she does with her oldest, Ian. She also mentioned that Danielle had spent the past week with her in NY (Danielle is a yoga instructor and lives in Seattle). ;)

    I hope that you were loved and had a happy childhood. :)
     
  19. JanewayRulz!

    JanewayRulz! Vice Admiral Admiral

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  20. Catarina

    Catarina Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    She's gorgeous in that instagram photo! Her hair is doing great things lately :-) And you can tell she's happier. She's glowing again