I'm an ass and I don't know how to recover from this.

[Aldo]

So last week I was planning on going out bowling with a friend of mine and his wife. I also decided to invite this girl I'm kind of crushing on, but really, I'd just like to hang out with her cause I want to get to know her.

So the day comes and goes. My buddy and his wife show up, but this girl doesn't, doesn't text me, and when I try to call, doesn't answer her phone. Well what happened is earlier in the day she worked a two am two ten shift. She was pretty tired and slept through my texts and phone calls.

So anyways, the next day, like an adult I ask her what happened and she explains, and everythings ok.

Only that's not what happened, cause I'm an idiot.

I proceeded to ignore her for the next two days. Only until I realized I was being dickish I text her and basically say "Hey what's up, we missed you the other night." She proceeds to send me a five page text telling me how she knew I was ignoring her and that she believed that I was mad at her, etc. etc. I send her a text apologizing for my actions but hear nothing back from her.

Not another friend of mine tells me I've done nothing wrong, as I was the one who got blown off and I have every right to be mad at her, but I know I was a dick for the way I acted, and not sure how or if I can fix any damage.

 

[auntiehill]

So, she explained and you accepted the explanation but proceeded to act childishly anyway? Or did you NOT accept her explanation and gave her the silent treatment (still childish, by the way) and she got fed up and now wants nothing more to do with you?

Your explanation of the situation is unclear. If everything was truly "OK," why did you ignore her? You said everything was OK but you were still mad at her?

 

[LitmusDragon]

Honestly she kind of blew you off anyway, seems like you aren't the only one misbehaving here.

 

[Aldo]

So, she explained and you accepted the explanation but proceeded to act childishly anyway? Or did you NOT accept her explanation and gave her the silent treatment (still childish, by the way) and she got fed up and now wants nothing more to do with you?

Your explanation of the situation is unclear. If everything was truly "OK," why did you ignore her? You said everything was OK but you were still mad at her?

Nono, I said that's not what happened. It was an attempt to throw a little humor into the post

I ignored her then got the explanation from her. She only gave me an explanation after I said something, she didn't go out of her way to give me one the whole day after the bowling was to take place.

Although now that I wrote it down and have a chance to look over it all. I really don't have much to be worried about.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

I predict a bright future for this relationship.

If she had committed to be there, then didn't show up and didn't tell you she wouldn't make it, and didn't even offer an explanation until you asked her, either she's just as childish as you are, or she doesn't really care about you in the first place.

If you want to salvage anything here, you both need to talk and agree to communicate better, otherwise you might as well give it up now.

 

[Maestro]

So, the day after the blown bowling date, she didn't call you or text you with, "Holy fuck! I completely slept through our date because I was exhausted from work?"

Or did you ignore her calls and/or texts of the above message for two days?

 

[Timby]

So last week I was planning on going out bowling with a friend of mine and his wife. I also decided to invite this girl I'm kind of crushing on, but really, I'd just like to hang out with her cause I want to get to know her.

So the day comes and goes. My buddy and his wife show up, but this girl doesn't, doesn't text me, and when I try to call, doesn't answer her phone. Well what happened is earlier in the day she worked a two am two ten shift. She was pretty tired and slept through my texts and phone calls.

So anyways, the next day, like an adult I ask her what happened and she explains, and everythings ok.

Only that's not what happened, cause I'm an idiot.

I proceeded to ignore her for the next two days. Only until I realized I was being dickish I text her and basically say "Hey what's up, we missed you the other night." She proceeds to send me a five page text telling me how she knew I was ignoring her and that she believed that I was mad at her, etc. etc. I send her a text apologizing for my actions but hear nothing back from her.

Not another friend of mine tells me I've done nothing wrong, as I was the one who got blown off and I have every right to be mad at her, but I know I was a dick for the way I acted, and not sure how or if I can fix any damage.

Aren't you in your 30s? To say that you're "crushing on a girl" suggests a rather severe case of arrested development.

 

[Kelthaz]

So, the day after the blown bowling date, she didn't call you or text you with, "Holy fuck! I completely slept through our date because I was exhausted from work?"

Or did you ignore her calls and/or texts of the above message for two days?

I didn't get the impression that it was a date. More like she was one of several people in a group of friends going bowling. If that's the case her not showing up isn't such a big deal.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

So, the day after the blown bowling date, she didn't call you or text you with, "Holy fuck! I completely slept through our date because I was exhausted from work?"

Or did you ignore her calls and/or texts of the above message for two days?

I didn't get the impression that it was a date. More like she was one of several people in a group of friends going bowling. If that's the case her not showing up isn't such a big deal.

Even with friends, if I say I'm going to be somewhere and then I can't make it, I'll make sure to tell them rather than leave them guessing for days about what happened.

 

[Admiral Buzzkill]

Indeed; at my advanced age I prefer to refer to myself as "currently smitten."

Seriously, however this works out you're responsible for your own behavior and can not do a thing about hers. If you're unhappy with the way you acted, you know that you're unhappy with it and probably should try not to do that again - all of the good advice and commiseration you get from friends about who-did-what doesn't matter much in the face of your own sense of who you are and who you want to be.

 

[Scout101]

wouldn't worry much about it. Not because you acted correctly (didn't, kinda childish, all things considered), but because she's not interested. If she was actually interested, she'd have planned on trying to sleep after her shift ended at 10am and tried to make it out. Or would have told you she couldn't make it, tried to reschedule, etc. She did none of those things, and didn't say anything about missing it after, so doesn't appear to care all that much about it, or you.

Most likely she just wasn't looking at it the same way you were...

 

[ares93]

Aren't you in your 30s? To say that you're "crushing on a girl" suggests a rather severe case of arrested development.

Its more along the lines of him tryin' to keep up with our lingo, I'd wager.

Which in most cases ends up as a horribly structured sentences.

 

[RJDiogenes]

She should have contacted you as soon as she realized she had slept through the engagement. You shouldn't have ignored her. It's okay to say that you're crushing on somebody. Did I miss anything?

 

[RoJoHen]

Yeah, honestly, you both acted like d-bags. Time to move on.

 

[Kelthaz]

Even with friends, if I say I'm going to be somewhere and then I can't make it, I'll make sure to tell them rather than leave them guessing for days about what happened.

Right, but she did sleep through the day and she knew that she was going to see him the next day. I can understand waiting until you can talk in person to explain why you didn't show. I suppose it depends on when she woke up and realized she had missed the bowling.

 

[Kestra]

Don't know how you're going to recover from this? Move on and stop being so dramatic!

 

[RoJoHen]

Don't know how you're going to recover from this? Move on and stop being so dramatic!

This.

Sounds like you and the girl don't really know each other very well anyway. It's hardly a big loss.

 

[ArcherFanForever]

So, the day after the blown bowling date, she didn't call you or text you with, "Holy fuck! I completely slept through our date because I was exhausted from work?"

Or did you ignore her calls and/or texts of the above message for two days?

I didn't get the impression that it was a date. More like she was one of several people in a group of friends going bowling. If that's the case her not showing up isn't such a big deal.

I agree. Although the polite thing to do on her part would have been to let you know as soon as she woke up.

 

[Kirby]

Indeed; at my advanced age I prefer to refer to myself as "currently smitten."

At my age (and were I not married) I'd probably say something like 'That dame is the cat's pajamas. She's got a humdinger of a spell on me!'

Aldo you need to chill dude, stuff happens and people get busy. It sucks, but it happened. Let it go.

 

[Maestro]

I think that the lesson learned here is that in life, no matter what happens, what the story is, what the real story is, the best course of action is to try to be the greatest, most complete dick possible.