I'd Hit... Wait, What?!

[Adm_Hawthorne]

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine today, and she said something that just floored me. We were talking about levels of attraction and how one sees one's self versus how others see you.

She said, "I honestly don't know how [person we're discussing] can look in the mirror and not say, 'Yeah, I'd frak that'."

This floored me. I'm talking an almost for real coffee spew moment. I've never had that thought in my entire life. I've never looked at myself in the mirror and thought, "Yeah, I'd hit that."

But, then, I had to wonder, am I the norm or do people actually do this? Do you look at yourself in the mirror and have thoughts like that. Furthermore, if you don't, why not?

I can tell you now that I don't because I'm not my own type, and that's just a weird concept to me.

 

[RoJoHen]

Depends on the angle I'm looking at myself in the mirror.

 

[Kirk's_Tights]

Meh, I don't see a problem with it. I have days when I look at myself and want to vomit and then I have other days when I say 'if I were Hugh Jackman, I'd hit that 10 times sideways, without a doubt'.

 

[AstroSmurf]

Sometimes you scare me RoJo... but I still love you. Damn. Now I am scaring myself.

And Adm_Hawthorne I have a couple of friends who are like that. They are all unrepentant narcissists. But I don't get it either. I look at myself in the mirror and all I see are the negatives magnified a hundred times from looking at them everyday for the last 36 years. On the other hand I guess I am attractive... or at least I think I am based on how often I get hit on. But I don't really know.

 

[Adm_Hawthorne]

Sometimes you scare me RoJo... but I still love you. Damn. Now I am scaring myself.

And Adm_Hawthorne I have a couple of friends who are like that. They are all unrepentant narcissists. But I don't get it either. I look at myself in the mirror and all I see are the negatives magnified a hundred times from looking at them everyday for the last 36 years. On the other hand I guess I am attractive... or at least I think I am based on how often I get hit on. But I don't really know.

It's confusing, isn't it? If you are someone who says that about themselves, then you risk being a narcissist, which is bad. If you aren't someone who says that about themselves, then you risk being someone accused of having low self-esteem.

 

[AstroSmurf]

^ Exactly. In a way I don't want to think... or even know... that I am hot. I don't want to become "that person". I also don't want the pain that would come if I found out that it wasn't true. Being oblivious works out better in the end.

 

[Kirk's_Tights]

There is nothing wrong with being confident with your looks.

 

[Adm_Hawthorne]

But, being confident and being narcissistic is a fine line, and how do you tell when you've over-stepped it?

 

[K'Ehleyr]

I mostly seem to have a 'frak you' look rather than a 'frak myself' look

 

[Emher]

I have days...well times when I think I'm a sexy beast. Most of the time I just look at myself and "meh, I'm alright from the neck up."

 

[Adm_Hawthorne]

I mostly seem to have a 'frak you' look rather than a 'frak myself' look

My friend's nerd terminology is a little... lacking.

 

[Kirk's_Tights]

But, being confident and being narcissistic is a fine line, and how do you tell when you've over-stepped it?

If you have pictures of yourself hanging all over your walls, paint self portraits, talk about yourself at irrelevant times, make a doll of yourself so you can sleep with yourself, I'd say that is over-stepping it.

If you just generally think you are good looking but don't go around talking about how good you look all day, I'd say that is confidence. If you have to remind yourself that you look good every 5 seconds, you're probably a little too in love with yourself, lol.

 

[RoJoHen]

If you just generally think you are good looking but don't go around talking about how good you look all day, I'd say that is confidence. If you have to remind yourself that you look good every 5 seconds, you're probably a little too in love with yourself, lol.

Indeed.

I really don't think it's that fine a line. It's perfectly okay to think you're good-looking. I think I am a good-looking person, but I don't go around talking about it or anything.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

I mostly seem to have a 'frak you' look rather than a 'frak myself' look

My friend's nerd terminology is a little... lacking.

We need a mix I suppose

 

[Quinton O'Connor]

I know I'm relatively attractive, but I never look into the mirror and feel as such. I'm just my own harshest critic, through and through.

 

[auntiehill]

Most of the time, when I look in the mirror, I think, "Thank God hubby is farsighted."

I have never been attractive, nor have I ever deluded myself into thinking that I was.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

I wish i had the self confidence and self esteem to say that about myself! Funny, when i was growing up as a teen and in my 20s i never really thought of myself as attractive but now when i look at pictures of myself at that age i think, gee, i was adorable! And yet, i don't see myself that way NOW. Probably in 20 years (i should live so long) i'll look at pictures of myself at this age and think i was attractive in my 50s.

Poor self esteem is a killer.

 

[Kirby]

I'd have to get myself good and drunk first, and even then, keep the lights off. But then again I make some awesome vanilla/banana pancakes the next morning would be ok.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

Most of the time, when I look in the mirror, I think, "Thank God hubby is farsighted." ...

I'm not commenting on the other bit as I'm sure you are, but just self deprecating

I wish i had the self confidence and self esteem to say that about myself! Funny, when i was growing up as a teen and in my 20s i never really thought of myself as attractive but now when i look at pictures of myself at that age i think, gee, i was adorable! And yet, i don't see myself that way NOW. Probably in 20 years (i should live so long) i'll look at pictures of myself at this age and think i was attractive in my 50s.

Poor self esteem is a killer.

Randi, you look great now

I do the same with pics of me when younger and thought "damn if I'd only known how to play it"!
But I'm happier now ~ I feel like I've 'grown into myself". I know what to wear that suits me, and make up and hair that flatters ~ I'm comfortable with my look.

BUT (slightly off topic sorry Ad H) in the past week 3 people have commented how 'well' I look, or 'how much weight have you lost', which are nice comments but also make you think 'well how awfull did I look before?'

How can we ever be confident with comments like that

 

[iguana_tonante]

I'll tell you what: I'm straight, so I can't really judge on a man's attractiveness, but if I were a girl... oh yes, I'd totally hit me.

I mean, I am aware of all my flaws, the wrinkles, the hair, the less-than-sculpted-abs, but still... I'm bloody brilliant. And cultured. And fashionable. And charming. And a lot of fun. And handsome, in my own way. So, yeah. I'd hit that.

If you are someone who says that about themselves, then you risk being a narcissist, which is bad.

It's only bad when you are not awesome.