I Was Strangled and Beaten by a Stranger. I'm Injured. I'm Angry.

[Dude]

Similarly, there is no sexual battery that occurred here because the state has to prove that the suspect's intent was lascivious (i.e. there was some sexual gratification from it). That's not the case here.

Excuse me? The guy ripped her shirt off. What other intent could he possibly have HAD?

You mean that the guy in the homosexual domestic partnership was sexually aroused by tearing a woman's shirt off? Good luck proving that in court.

More likely, it was torn off as part of the extreme rage and battery, with no sexual overtones at all. It's still a crime, just not the same crime everyone thinks it is.

Beyond that, sexual battery requires the actual touching of the specific places with lascivious intent. Where in her post did she say that he actually touched her breasts?

Chasing red herrings is actually harmful to her prospects of getting justice here. It's not just a waste of time, it actually can undermine her credibility with these people. Stick with the actual law. This is an aggravated battery. That's a very serious criminal charge, don't discount that.

 

[Jadzia]

Agreed.

Trying to add additional 'insubstantial' charges, as some kind of personal vengeance, damages the credibility of the whole case.

As they say in law, "Just state the facts".

It is for the judge to determine an appropriate punishment, not the victim.

 

[May 20]

Similarly, there is no sexual battery that occurred here because the state has to prove that the suspect's intent was lascivious (i.e. there was some sexual gratification from it). That's not the case here.

Excuse me? The guy ripped her shirt off. What other intent could he possibly have HAD?

His intent was to embarrass her enough to get her to stop fighting, leave the scene, and leave him and his punching bag of a lover alone. It wasn't about sex, like rape isn't about sex; it was about dominance and power.

Bears, I know you're angry, and you should be angry. I'm angry for you, and if the posse is accepting women, count me in. But DJP is right here. If you go into the police station with a confrontational attitude, they will close ranks. You can show your anger about this with your dedication to seek the resolution you need.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

You mean that the guy in the homosexual domestic partnership

Oops, I completely forgot about that bit.

Beyond that, sexual battery requires the actual touching

I admit I didn't know that either. I thought it was enough to say there was an attempt.

 

[Jadzia]

You mean that the guy in the homosexual domestic partnership

Oops, I completely forgot about that bit.

Career advice: Don't become a lawyer.

 

[Dude]

You mean that the guy in the homosexual domestic partnership

Oops, I completely forgot about that bit.

I don't know about you, but I'm on page 11 here. I can see where that information got lost. I had the benefit of reading them all at once instead of piecemeal, too.

Beyond that, sexual battery requires the actual touching

I admit I didn't know that either. I thought it was enough to say there was an attempt.

You can charge most crimes as "attempted" and sexual battery is one of those. But you still have to show that their intent was to touch her breast for sexual gratification, but that they just failed to actually touch it due to her fighting back. I don't think that would be a winnable case and Jadzia's comments are right on point.

Plus, I think May probably explained a better reason than I did for why he tore her shirt open.

 

[pookha]

Bears, I'm really sorry to hear about all this. You certainly didn't deserve it and the world would be a far better place if more people stepped up and tried to help others, as you did.

A couple of points on this. I think Flamingliberal is right on the domestic violence part of this. I am certainly no expert on California law, but I think that you were not involved in a domestic violence situation. The other two were, but you were the victim of a independent battery. I do hope she is right about there being another way out of the lease, though.

Similarly, there is no sexual battery that occurred here because the state has to prove that the suspect's intent was lascivious (i.e. there was some sexual gratification from it). That's not the case here. It is a battery, though, and generally they carry the same punishment anyway.

Before I say this next part, I want to say that I am no defender of the LAPD. They are an embarrassment to modern American law enforcement. This is made worse by the fact that most of our television and movie productions make them out to be the best cops in the US. They aren't and, in fact, their culture is probably the least helpful and service oriented of the major police agencies. There are, of course, exceptions and what kind of service you get from an officer is entirely dependent on which particular officer happens to show up. I'm sure that LA has some very good cops. The culture of the LAPD lowers your actual statistical chances of finding one unfortunately. Whatever your or my view of them is, however, they are the police agency that you have to deal withy on this.

Certainly, you can contact the DA, but I think the more productive step at this point would be to contact a police supervisor. I know several people recommended filing a formal complaint against the officers involved, but I'd hold off on that for now. That's because internal affairs complaints tend to slow down the entire legal process and set everyone in their current positions because they now have to defend their actions from an outside entity.

Better that you work within the supervisory system to explain your concerns that the officers didn't place the appropriate charges and didn't fully document the incident. I picked those words on purpose. Stay calm and speak politely. Not because something's wrong with you, but because the supervisor is far more likely to listen to you and do something about the situation if they perceive you as a decent person who has been wronged instead of an irate person who may have been a contributor to the fight. However angry that last sentence may make you, remember that these people have never met you before and are forming their opinion of you when you speak with them. Ask the supervisor how you can have the suspect arrested or charged. Don't tell him/her that they have to charge the suspect. It's important that your conversation not be confrontational. Not because the police officers handled the situation well (they didn't), but because you have to resolve the situation as it already stands.

Start with a sergeant and give him a little time to actually resolve the matter before going further. He/she isn't going to just say you're right when you speak to him the first time, they will speak to the officers involved first. You and me and everybody else would want our supervisor to do this someone complained about something we did, too.

If you're not satisfied, ask for the name of the lieutenant who supervises them. repeat and remember that a captain ultimately supervises all of them. If you get no satsifaction through the captains rank, then just file a complaint and know that the LAPD is even more hopeless than I already think it is.

Again, I'm very sorry you've had to go through this. I'm proud of you, though, for staying true to your principles and trying to make a better world by helping others. I wish you the very best in recovering and dealing with the justice system.

i agree with the non confrontational part.
but whiile going to the police superisor is a good suggestion she has to keep in mind she might not get anywhere until the da office gets involved.
sorry but i have seen several cases were the suprvisors just took the cops back and didnt want to examine the situation further.

in a small town near here there is a very bad situation going on when there was a police coverup of an investigation that a cop was involved in.
the cops on the scene even threatened the witnesses on hand with arrest for trying to bring their attention to some evidence and the actions of the cop involved.
at first the higher ups in the force just blindly backed their guys until the news media, the da office and the states version of the buruea of investigation got involved.,

thr da office often has their own investigators ect..

while an attorney will have more say the domest assualt should come into play since a situation the complex knew exited has been allowed to escalte until it broke out in a public area.

 

[The Sneeze Police]

It won't hurt going to the sergeant (followed by the captain & lieutenant...), but I'm with Pookha, do go to the DA, too. In some places, they are the "chief law enforcement officer." The main DA is an elected official, and as such, he will want to listen to his constituents. I also agree with the other posters who counseled that you maintain a calm, respectful attitude ( no matter how you have been treated.) By talking with the LAPD & the DA both, you will increase your chances that you will find a sympathetic individual who will be interested in your pursuit of justice.

If you do not receive any response or an inadequate response from the LAPD and/or the DA, then write letters of complaint to the City Manager, Police Chief and the DA.

Once you have retained your lawyer, be guided by thier advice about potential civil action. Criminal resolution should come first, but you absolutely need to keep your options open.

Once again, let me say how much I admire you. You are a real hero.

 

[Sephiroth]

Bears, If you need some assistance, please PM me

 

[Bears Discover Fire]

Bears, I'm really sorry to hear about all this. You certainly didn't deserve it and the world would be a far better place if more people stepped up and tried to help others, as you did.

A couple of points on this. I think Flamingliberal is right on the domestic violence part of this. I am certainly no expert on California law, but I think that you were not involved in a domestic violence situation. The other two were, but you were the victim of a independent battery. I do hope she is right about there being another way out of the lease, though.

Similarly, there is no sexual battery that occurred here because the state has to prove that the suspect's intent was lascivious (i.e. there was some sexual gratification from it). That's not the case here. It is a battery, though, and generally they carry the same punishment anyway.

Before I say this next part, I want to say that I am no defender of the LAPD. They are an embarrassment to modern American law enforcement. This is made worse by the fact that most of our television and movie productions make them out to be the best cops in the US. They aren't and, in fact, their culture is probably the least helpful and service oriented of the major police agencies. There are, of course, exceptions and what kind of service you get from an officer is entirely dependent on which particular officer happens to show up. I'm sure that LA has some very good cops. The culture of the LAPD lowers your actual statistical chances of finding one unfortunately. Whatever your or my view of them is, however, they are the police agency that you have to deal withy on this.

Certainly, you can contact the DA, but I think the more productive step at this point would be to contact a police supervisor. I know several people recommended filing a formal complaint against the officers involved, but I'd hold off on that for now. That's because internal affairs complaints tend to slow down the entire legal process and set everyone in their current positions because they now have to defend their actions from an outside entity.

Better that you work within the supervisory system to explain your concerns that the officers didn't place the appropriate charges and didn't fully document the incident. I picked those words on purpose. Stay calm and speak politely. Not because something's wrong with you, but because the supervisor is far more likely to listen to you and do something about the situation if they perceive you as a decent person who has been wronged instead of an irate person who may have been a contributor to the fight. However angry that last sentence may make you, remember that these people have never met you before and are forming their opinion of you when you speak with them. Ask the supervisor how you can have the suspect arrested or charged. Don't tell him/her that they have to charge the suspect. It's important that your conversation not be confrontational. Not because the police officers handled the situation well (they didn't), but because you have to resolve the situation as it already stands.

Start with a sergeant and give him a little time to actually resolve the matter before going further. He/she isn't going to just say you're right when you speak to him the first time, they will speak to the officers involved first. You and me and everybody else would want our supervisor to do this someone complained about something we did, too.

If you're not satisfied, ask for the name of the lieutenant who supervises them. repeat and remember that a captain ultimately supervises all of them. If you get no satsifaction through the captains rank, then just file a complaint and know that the LAPD is even more hopeless than I already think it is.

Again, I'm very sorry you've had to go through this. I'm proud of you, though, for staying true to your principles and trying to make a better world by helping others. I wish you the very best in recovering and dealing with the justice system.

Thank you very much for this fantastic and very informative post. I am printing it and am going to study it carefully during the ride to the precinct.

I have evidence in the form of my ripped shirt, and the photos I took of my injuries. How can I get that into the hands of a detective or a DA or whoever handles things like that?

Nothing you said made me angry. I know exactly what you mean about needing to stay calm and nonconfrontational while speaking with strangers who know nothing about me or the situation. If I were to venture a guess, I would think that LAPD officers tend to assume the worst of people and build from there.

I also understand that while I may feel sexually assaulted, the court system is unlikely to see it that way. He was a gay man, after all. I may not be able to prove that his intention was to get me on the ground and violate me sexually; I think his intention was to get me on the ground, strangle me to death and bite my face off while doing it. May20 is right about the motive being the same as sexual assault, though: he tried to use power and sexual humiliation to overwhelm, shock and embarrass me into losing my fight. He may be a gay man and I a straight woman, but his orientation does not render him incapable of fighting dirty like that.

Victim's Services informed me that there is another, appended police report floating out there that IDs me as an assault victim. Apparently that report never made it into the hands of the people who charged the suspect. Whoever charged the suspect was erroneously informed that I was only a witness, and not actually involved or injured.

Based on what you and flamingliberal have told me, I will definitely not give the apartment management a 30 day notice in person. I will send it, my final rent check, and a copy of the police report via certified mail. I sent the police report by fax yesterday, but when I called to confirm they received it, no one would answer the phone or return my calls for the rest of the day. These guys are skeevy. I'm quickly learning not to trust them any farther than I can throw them.

As for whether my attack is classified as a domestic violence incident or an independent attack: all police documentation I've received thus far has used "Domestic Violence" to describe the incident. At this point no one has given me reason to believe my attack is considered independent assault, but there is that other police report out there that may say differently. That's part of my mission today: to get that other police report and see what the hell else they've gotten totally wrong.

 

[Thespeckledkiwi]

Wow...seriously fucked up

Hope all this gets straightened out Bears.

 

[Rowan Sjet]

As someone who was abused I want to try and explain why I put up with it for so long.

...

In the end my husband was arested for hurting someone else. When he was released on bail I told him to get out. I told him the polcie knew what he was like now and would listen to me. For the next few moinths I lived in fear that he would kill us.

Going back a couple pages, but I thought I'd respond to this.

Miss Chicken, first, I'd like to say what an incredible read that was, for how you told it, and just the fact that it actually could be told. That anyone should have to suffer through what you and your children did is mind-boggling. It's important to hear that situations like these occur, but also that you can get out of them.

Second, I really hope that you don't in any way compare yourself to the "victim" in this case. While the means are not too similar, when someone else got hurt by your partner, you had the guts to get out, to say "No more". This man didn't, even when the other person hurt came in to save him. That's a weakness of character that's just unforgivable IMO.

And Bears, I'd just like to offer my support to you as well. Despite what followed, you should definitely be proud of what you did, and I hope you keep on fighting for the justice you deserve.

Go kick some ass!

 

[Dude]

Thank you very much for this fantastic and very informative post. I am printing it and am going to study it carefully during the ride to the precinct.

You're welcome. I'm glad I could show you some kindness in a terrible situation for you (and I note that everyone else here has done so as well). And please remember that however dissatisfied you may end up with the officers you deal with, there are many more out there who have a whole different world view of how to do the job.

I have evidence in the form of my ripped shirt, and the photos I took of my injuries. How can I get that into the hands of a detective or a DA or whoever handles things like that?

I recommend that you ask the supervisor that you deal with this question. Each agency has its own rules on how to accept and process evidence, so I don't want to steer you into an expectation that isn't accurate.

Remember, you may not end up with a detective assigned to your case. This is because there isn't really all that much left to investigate, everything involved is fairly clearcut. If you do get one assigned, *bonus*! But if not, don't read that as indifference to your situation. An arrest or prosecution doesn't require a detective. In fact, most arrests are made by uniformed officers in battery situations.

Nothing you said made me angry. I know exactly what you mean about needing to stay calm and nonconfrontational while speaking with strangers who know nothing about me or the situation. If I were to venture a guess, I would think that LAPD officers tend to assume the worst of people and build from there.

Most police do (because even when they deal with good people, it's often on that person's very worst day), although my experience is that the LAPD is worse than average in cynicism. That's why it's so vital to be polite and make it clear that you just want to work with them to resolve what has been a tough situation for you. I don't excuse the cynicism, btw. But it is a natural byproduct of the work that police do and it's easier to be cynical than to fight against it.

I also understand that while I may feel sexually assaulted, the court system is unlikely to see it that way. He was a gay man, after all. I may not be able to prove that his intention was to get me on the ground and violate me sexually; I think his intention was to get me on the ground, strangle me to death and bite my face off while doing it. May20 is right about the motive being the same as sexual assault, though: he tried to use power and sexual humiliation to overwhelm, shock and embarrass me into losing my fight. He may be a gay man and I a straight woman, but his orientation does not render him incapable of fighting dirty like that.

No, I think the two of you are right. I'm sorry I didn't see it clearly until it was pointed out.

Victim's Services informed me that there is another, appended police report floating out there that IDs me as an assault victim. Apparently that report never made it into the hands of the people who charged the suspect. Whoever charged the suspect was erroneously informed that I was only a witness, and not actually involved or injured.

This also explains why the police and hospital took no pictures. I can't explain how that happened, but it is unfortunate and shouldn't have occurred. At best, there was some poor communication somewhere among the police and EMS people.

Based on what you and flamingliberal have told me, I will definitely not give the apartment management a 30 day notice in person. I will send it, my final rent check, and a copy of the police report via certified mail. I sent the police report by fax yesterday, but when I called to confirm they received it, no one would answer the phone or return my calls for the rest of the day. These guys are skeevy. I'm quickly learning not to trust them any farther than I can throw them.

Beware my friend. This is the path to cynicism.

But you can see where dealing with people like that everyday could affect your view of people, right?

 

[Tim]

Based on what you and flamingliberal have told me, I will definitely not give the apartment management a 30 day notice in person. I will send it, my final rent check, and a copy of the police report via certified mail. I sent the police report by fax yesterday, but when I called to confirm they received it, no one would answer the phone or return my calls for the rest of the day. These guys are skeevy. I'm quickly learning not to trust them any farther than I can throw them.

I would also consider registered mail for any official documentation that you might need to provide to the police or courts as the process continues. It's just too easy for something to get "misplaced" and cause you a world of additional stress that you don't need right now...either that, or I just don't trust anybody.

You seem to be taking all the right steps here in rational fashion, IMO. Just keep it up!

 

[Crusher Disciple]

Miss Chicken, first, I'd like to say what an incredible read that was, for how you told it, and just the fact that it actually could be told. That anyone should have to suffer through what you and your children did is mind-boggling. It's important to hear that situations like these occur, but also that you can get out of them.

Second, I really hope that you don't in any way compare yourself to the "victim" in this case. While the means are not too similar, when someone else got hurt by your partner, you had the guts to get out, to say "No more". This man didn't, even when the other person hurt came in to save him. That's a weakness of character that's just unforgivable IMO.

I agree. Miss Chicken even posted earlier that when her son was scaled, she went after the person who attacked him and the woman who enabled the attacker. That makes her a hero in my book. And nothing like the "victim" in Bears' situation.

My hat's off to both MC and Bears for how they handled their sitations when they came up and a big hug to both of them for having the courage when courage was needed to defend someone else.

 

[hyzmarca]

Anger is a natural response to loss of control, real or perceived, and you'll probably remain angry until you get your sense of control back. That could be easy, or it could be hard. I don't know, it really depends on you.

I recommend that anyone who has been in that sort of situation take some sort of self-defense training, more to reset your emotional equilibrium and regain that sense of control than for the skills themselves, though good self-defense skills are useful in their own right. For someone with a disabling foot injury, I'd recommend learning defensive shooting, mostly because it's easiest and requires the least physical exertion. It also happens to be the fastest to learn. The counterpoint to this is that you won't always be able to carry a firearm with you, and California has some restrictions that can make obtaining one difficult. But any action you take to learn how to defend yourself is going to improve your confidence and your sense of control. It does not matter what, so long as you do something. Of course, it is helpful if the self defense technique you learn are actually useful, there are many charlatans out there teaching such courses and many more McMasters who mean well and know the motions, but not how to apply them in a real fight.

I'd also recommend keeping an emergency pouch by your bed, just in case something happens. Such a pouch should be small, wearable, and easy to slip on with easily accessible compartments. It should contain the bare minimum that you should have with you in an emergency situation, whether that be a fire or an attacker. It should at the very least contain a flashlight, a charged cellular phone (it doesn't need to be active, all cell phones can dial 911), and a defensive weapon (preferably an unchambered pistol with a loaded magazine, but anything from pepper-spray to a pocket knife will do if that isn't available - a knife is always a good idea even if you have a beter weapon; you never know when you might need a utility knife in an emergency). Any spare bottles of medicines that you might need go in it, as well, and an emergency credit card (or cash) and a spare driver's license (or other ID if you don't drive). You should never include the only copies of something of vital importance in your emergency kit, but if something is of vital importance you should always have spares to put in your emergency kit.

Train yourself to pick this pouch up and slip it on when you get up in the middle of the night, so that it becomes second nature. This way, if you wake up in the middle of the night for some reason, whether it be a fire alarm or someone screaming for help, you'll grab your emergency pouch in spite of being dazed and confused. If there is a fire or some other disaster to escape from, you can escape and help others to escape, without worrying about leaving something that you need. If someone needs help, you;ll be able to dial 911 quickly. And if there is an attacker you'll be armed. Just knowing that you have an emergency pouch beside your bed and won't be caught off guard by whatever might happen can give you a great peace of mind. And if you ever need to put it to use, you'll be glad to have it.


There is some great legal advice being given in this thread, so I won't bother adding to it. But, I will say that you don't have to pay the rent, if you haven't already. It isn't like there are apartment police who will arrest you. We don't have debtors prisons, and suing you over a single month's rent would be counterproductive; it would cost them more than the rent is worth. That being said, your credit rating would take a hit. Me, personally, I'd take the credit hit just on principle and move my stuff out without paying, perhaps using the rent money to pay for a month of self-storage while I looked for a new place. But you might not want to. It's hard to cultivate a good credit rating and very easy to lose it.

 

[Captain X]

It wasn't about sex, like rape isn't about sex; it was about dominance and power.

Actually rape does have something to do either sex, mainly sexual gratification, depending on the circumstances of course. But there is definitely a sexual element, as just beating the shit out of someone would do plenty for dominance and power. With rape, usually it's about the rapist showing his victim that he (or she) can do anything they want to do to the victim. Man I watch way too much TV...

 

[melancholymecha]

BDF, wow, what happenned to you is so terrible & completely unfair! I hope you can get all the help you need to get through this. And you have every right to feel angry...I would be too.

 

[Bears Discover Fire]

I made some more progress today. It's a little thing that doesn't feel like a little thing lol.

I nixed my plans to go to LA when I had a breakdown right before I walked out the door, because I realized I had some logistical issues getting back home once I got there. I was also in a panic because I wanted my rent in on time, but I wanted it to accompany my 30 day notice in certified mail. I could not see how to do both.

See, the thing with trauma is that simple dilemmas turn into insurmountable obstacles in the mind of the traumatized. I was kicking myself for not sending my rent in sooner. That's why it’s good to surround yourself with people more clear headed than you.

One of these clear minded peeps reminded me that up until yesterday we didn't even legally know what to do with my rent, then drove me to the Post office, where I sent my 30 day notice, another copy of the police report, and a money order for my rent amount via express, insured certified mail. So, my rent won't arrive until March 2nd. They have to sign for the package, and I must get a return receipt.

The last people I expected to be helpful and sympathetic – the overworked postal workers at my local branch – are so far the only people in an official capacity who have bothered to actually help me and treat me like a human being in this whole debacle. I think I will write a letter of thanks to their supervisor for their kind, concerned treatment of me.

At first I was freaked out because I've never been so much as a day late on my rent , and my increasingly evil management has no grace period. They ding you $75 for every day your rent is overdue. But I'm calming down now, because the 1st is a Sunday anyway and they won't be able to cash any checks until March 2 - which is when my check will arrive.

If they try and make me pay that $75 penalty, I can have my lawyer succinctly remind them that their negligence, apathy to a known danger, dismissive attitude and unwillingness to comply with ADA guidelines has rendered me homeless. Perhaps then they will decide that $75 is not worth the agony I'm so anxious to put them through.

So, that seems like a little thing. But to me I feel like I've scaled one of my imaginary mountains and reached the summit.

Qua'plah!

As for the precinct, it's saturday and I think I'd be wasting my time and gas to bother today. The only people in the office are the lackeys who work the front desk. I'm pretty certain that the people who can actually help me won't be in until monday.

 

[Amaris]

I made some more progress today. It's a little thing that doesn't feel like a little thing lol.

I nixed my plans to go to LA when I had a breakdown right before I walked out the door, because I realized I had some logistical issues getting back home once I got there. I was also in a panic because I wanted my rent in on time, but I wanted it to accompany my 30 day notice in certified mail. I could not see how to do both.

See, the thing with trauma is that simple dilemmas turn into insurmountable obstacles in the mind of the traumatized. I was kicking myself for not sending my rent in sooner. That's why it’s good to surround yourself with people more clear headed than you.

One of these clear minded peeps reminded me that up until yesterday we didn't even legally know what to do with my rent, then drove me to the Post office, where I sent my 30 day notice, another copy of the police report, and a money order for my rent amount via express, insured certified mail. So, my rent won't arrive until March 2nd. They have to sign for the package, and I must get a return receipt.

The last people in an official capacity I expected to be helpful and sympathetic – the overworked postal workers at my local branch – are so far the only people who have bothered to actually help me and treat me like a human being in this whole debacle. I think I will write a letter of thanks to their supervisor for their kind, concerned treatment of me.

At first I was freaked out because I've never been so much as a day late on my rent , and my increasingly evil management has no grace period. They ding you $75 for every day your rent is overdue. But I'm calming down now, because the 1st is a Sunday anyway and they won't be able to cash any checks until March 2 - which is when my check will arrive.

If they try and make me pay that $75 penalty, I can have my lawyer succinctly remind them that their negligence, apathy to a known danger, dismissive attitude and unwillingness to comply with ADA guidelines has rendered me homeless. Perhaps then they will decide that $75 is not worth the agony I'm so anxious to put them through.

So, that seems like a little thing. But to me I feel like I've scaled one of my imaginary mountains and reached the summit.

Qua'plah!

As for the precinct, it's saturday and I think I'd be wasting my time and gas to bother today. The only people in the office are the lackeys who work the front desk. I'm pretty certain that the people who can actually help me won't be in until monday.

Every step is a big step, every small success a major accomplishment. You just keep on keeping on, Bears. We're here for you too.

J.