I Was Strangled and Beaten by a Stranger. I'm Injured. I'm Angry.

[Bears Discover Fire]

Oh God, this just keeps getting worse.

I've been on the phone with the housing authority. They're telling me I HAVE to pay the apartment management my next month's rent, and pay it on time. Since I can't snail mail them a check in time for the first, I have to make another trip to LA and drop it off in person.

I HAVE to give a FULL 30 day notice of my intent to leave. The housing authority told me to expect a battle to get out of my lease. To get out of my lease, I have to go through a mediation process that could take months, assuming I eventually win.

Whether to evict the other tenants is at their discretion. They HAVE THE RIGHT to do nothing about this, which it looks like they're intending to do.

Oh and one more thing, a disability caused during an attack by a neighbor in your apartment that leaves you unable to live in said apartment? Not good enough cause for emergency relocation or financial aid.

Again, for the second time today, WHAT IN THE MOTHERFUCK IS THIS?!

 

[Rincewiend]

Get a lawyer and cut their balls off...
Legally that is...
From both the couple and the landlord...
Maybe the lawyer can help you with the housing authority. as well?!?
Oh, and best wishes and good luck from the Netherlands, girl...

 

[Trekker4747]

Time to lawyer up.

 

[Lindley]

Sounds to me like getting out of that apartment will be a good thing for you in general, despite the immediate problems it's causing.

 

[Cali]

Oh Bears, I am so sorry that this has happened to you. I hope you can make a speedy recovery.

As for the action (or lack of) the authorities and your apartment management folk, they make me so so angry. I would like to put in my application to join the ass-kicking lot; I may be a girl but I have plenty of high-heeled shoes that could do some damage.

 

[Jadzia]

You should be able to get fully recompensed for that if/when it comes to prosecution.

If you had reason to believe you were still in danger, and felt you had to leave your apartment immediately for your own safety, it may have assisted with prosecution, if it creates an image of a "violent criminal still at large". I don't know.

Is there is some sort of welfare system that can take some of this stress out of your hands? I don't know what services your state provides, for help and support for victims of crime. But it seems hard that you've got to deal with all this yourself.

 

[tharpdevenport]

James Bond:
And had BDF taken that course of action, she would have been right in the middle of another scenario she didn't want to be in - the victim could likely have been beaten to death, and she would have to live with that blood on her conscience for the rest of her life. She saved the guy.

That's B.S., the burden lies soley on the shoulders of the guy getting bitten, since this has appearently happened before. There is no second place. You can's blame BDF for doing nothing, then you'd have to blame any other tenant in ear shot.


Bear, train yoursef with a simple thought:

Unless you wake up and smell smoke, or hear someone banging on the door yelling "Fire department!", do NOT open the door.

Not not doing anything doesn't make you a bad person, in fact you have the rest of your life head of you to do something to help somebody else or more.

 

[Non Sync]

BDF, march down to the PD and file an assault report.

Did you get any information about the officers who responded to the initial call?

 

[Zulu Romeo]

This just gets worse and worse, Bears. I also think moving out of that poisonous influence you call an apartment will be a good idea. It seems to be causing you nothing but trouble.

I also echo the other additional sentiments (too numerous to list) mentioned above, and attempting to add anything else to what's already been said would seem only superfluous.

As for the action (or lack of) the authorities and your apartment management folk, they make me so so angry. I would like to put in my application to join the ass-kicking lot; I may be a girl but I have plenty of high-heeled shoes that could do some damage.

Every arse-kicking squad needs a medic...

Count me in.

 

[Captain Ice]

Agreed. Dont cry (just yet). Get mad. Call the DA and ask them WTF is going on and demand he be arrested for the felony charge of aggravated battery and sexual assault on you.

Agreed.

And if you have the cop's names and badge numbers, it's time to file a complaint against them for NOT filing charges against this guy. I'd start with calling Internal Affairs.

Also, is there anyone else who can drop the check off with the landlord? I don't think you shoule be having to face his sorry ass right now.

 

[JuanBolio]

James Bond:
And had BDF taken that course of action, she would have been right in the middle of another scenario she didn't want to be in - the victim could likely have been beaten to death, and she would have to live with that blood on her conscience for the rest of her life. She saved the guy.

That's B.S., the burden lies soley on the shoulders of the guy getting bitten, since this has appearently happened before. There is no second place. You can's blame BDF for doing nothing, then you'd have to blame any other tenant in ear shot.


Bear, train yoursef with a simple thought:

Unless you wake up and smell smoke, or hear someone banging on the door yelling "Fire department!", do NOT open the door.

Not not doing anything doesn't make you a bad person, in fact you have the rest of your life head of you to do something to help somebody else or more.

I disagree with your stance on getting involved most emphatically. Bears put the needs of another ahead of her own best interests. There is no higher nobility. If everyone was of your mindset, the world would be a truly terrible place.

 

[tharpdevenport]

If everybody had her mindset, we'd have a bunch of physically fucked up people who cant' get justice.

 

[Bears Discover Fire]

If everybody had her mindset, we'd have a bunch of physically fucked up people who cant' get justice.

If everyone had my mindset, there would be far more justice in the world, because people would lose the apathy, get off their asses, and help one another.

 

[JuanBolio]

If everybody had her mindset, we'd have a bunch of physically fucked up people who cant' get justice.

You're assuming that all attempts to "fight the power", whether that power is an attacker or the system, will be unsuccessful. That's kind of a losing mindset.

 

[Amaris]

If everybody had her mindset, we'd have a bunch of physically fucked up people who cant' get justice.

If everyone had my mindset, there would be far more justice in the world, because people would lose the apathy, get off their asses, and help one another.

Exactly.


J.

 

[Noname Given]

Sorry to double post but Victim Services finally returned my call.

The attacker was arrested but is out on bail (anyone wanna bet who bailed him out?). He was charged with a single misdemeanor count for battery against the other victim. They did not charge him for anything he did to me.

WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK IS THIS?

Excuse me, I need to go cry for awhile before I call the DA.

Bad in one way; good in another in that you DEFINITELY have a Civil damages case against the LAPD that will definitely stand up in court; and while money may not soothe all ills; it definitely helps with the doctor bills and getting you into a better place to live. Get a Civil lawyer and start the suit (it may take 2 -5 years unless they offer an outright settlement which is common); but after all you've been through with this, I would persue it vigorously.

 

[Lookingglassman]

This is messed up! Can't you sue these losers? If I were you I would buy a gun.

 

[Lindley]

If everyone had my mindset, there would be far more justice in the world, because people would lose the apathy, get off their asses, and help one another.

Go rent the movie Boondock Saints. If ever a movie championed the "action over apathy" view with regards to bad guys it's that one.

Of course it's more about punishing evil than helping each other, but frankly the two go hand in hand sometimes.

 

[Miss Chicken]

As someone who was abused I want to try and explain why I put up with it for so long.

I had very poor esteem to begin with because of a childhood filled with both emotional and physical abuse. Abusers do not look for strong women to marry, they prey on the already weak.

My ex-husband was very kind to me before I married him. Once I married him I became a possesion and that is when the abuse started. It started subtly and was emotionally abuse to start with. It made me, who had always been made to feel worthless by my mother, feel either more worthless. I began to feel it was all my own fault. If he hit me because he didn't like a meal I served I felt like it was my fault for being a bad cook.

Once we had a child he could use that against me. He would tell me he would take the child and I would never see him again, or that he would get custody because I was so fucked in the head. I was scared that my child (and later children) would have to cope with him alone. Ay least if they had me I could get in front of them and take a beating for them.

My ex would threaten me. I have had a knife at my throat and made to take an overdose. I didn't wake up for 16 hours and my husband said "So you not dead, bitch). Another time he pointed the gun at my baby and said "act like the dog, you are, or I will blow his head off" I had to get down on all fours and pretend to be a dog. This isn't the worst thing he ever did to me, not by a long shot.

My ex-husbnd was charming to other people. He was well liked. People admired him for putting up with a wife who obviously wasn't able to cope. No-one looked into the reasons why I didn't cope.

In the end I decided that I, and the children, would be better off dead. I looked at a way to get away from him. I started to hide little bits of money (he gave me very little). However he began to suspect that I might leave him so he chucked in his job. If I went out shopping I was made to leave one child behind. If he went out he took one of the children with him. I could find no opportunity of leaving with all three children.

In the end my husband was arested for hurting someone else. When he was released on bail I told him to get out. I told him the polcie knew what he was like now and would listen to me. For the next few moinths I lived in fear that he would kill us.

He went to prison for six months. While he was in prison he made death threats against me.

There was an inmate in the prison who had once lived in my street. He was worried about my safety. He sent a guy who had just got out of prison to talk to me. This guy went first to my neighbour's house and my neighbour got me to come over. The guy told me of the threats and told me that my former neighbour wanted me to be protected.

I found out later that when my ex got out of prison thre men bashed him up and told him to leave the city and not to come back. I assume that this bashing was arranged by my former neighbour.

 

[JuanBolio]

If everyone had my mindset, there would be far more justice in the world, because people would lose the apathy, get off their asses, and help one another.

Go rent the movie Boondock Saints. If ever a movie championed the "action over apathy" view with regards to bad guys it's that one.

Of course it's more about punishing evil than helping each other, but frankly the two go hand in hand sometimes.

Punishing evil is a worthy goal (and fun!) in its own right.