Oh, he doesn't want kids? I admit I didn't actually read the whole thread... 
I Want to Get Married
- Thread starter BolianAuthor
- Start date
I can find you a bunch of folks who got divorced, from variuous age ranges, that would tell you to not get married, BolianAuthor.
Forgive me for using a lot of generalizations in the following, but I don't suspect it has to do with wanting to be with a cheater. If it is indeed true that women become more attracted to men who have a wedding band, I would suspect that it is not the fact that the man is married that is attracting women, it is the fact that a wedding band symbolizes for many people ideas of commitment, loyalty, maturity, responsibility, and stability: traits that most women find attractive.
I have noticed that men playing with kids are more attractive to me because I find that sort of nurturing behavior very attractive in a man, not because I want to date a man who has kids.
Get a dog.
Seriously. One of the things women look for in a man when she's ready to settle down is stability. If he has a dog, he knows he has to go home every night to feed the dog and let it out and ... otherwise be a responsible pet owner.
It beats lying with wedding rings and someone else's baby.
Seriously. One of the things women look for in a man when she's ready to settle down is stability. If he has a dog, he knows he has to go home every night to feed the dog and let it out and ... otherwise be a responsible pet owner.
It beats lying with wedding rings and someone else's baby.
Probably I'm wrong, but I always thought the folk's tale about women being attracted to married men was about them searching for a one-night stand with someone who shouldn't be interested in a relationship, just a random encounter.
^That's the spicy Italian version.
You can also buy women in Eastern Europe.
^ "In Russia, women buy you!" [/yakov smirnoff]
^That's the spicy Italian version.
Point well taken.
This is interesting... I just completed a test on Plenty of Fish, and the results came out pretty opposite of what I am, based on the selections I gave for answers...
It had asked me if I prefer affection to be shown by physical contact or touching, and how important that is, or, by someone buying gifts and doing things for me. Well, I selected physical contact for all the questions where that was relevant, but the results said I preferred gifts or deeds.
I also replied in all areas where relevant, that I am not that into family events and spending time with my family, yet it said that family is very important to me, which it's really not, lol... not in the sense that I'd want to spend time with them when I have a woman of my own to spend time with, lol.
Oh, well... so much for that, lol.
It had asked me if I prefer affection to be shown by physical contact or touching, and how important that is, or, by someone buying gifts and doing things for me. Well, I selected physical contact for all the questions where that was relevant, but the results said I preferred gifts or deeds.
I also replied in all areas where relevant, that I am not that into family events and spending time with my family, yet it said that family is very important to me, which it's really not, lol... not in the sense that I'd want to spend time with them when I have a woman of my own to spend time with, lol.
Oh, well... so much for that, lol.
Yes, puppies are good. 
I've spent most of my life married/engaged (24 of my 43 years), but marriage wasn't ever one of my goals. In fact, as a teenager I was quite afraid of marriage because I feared that a month or so after getting married I'd find that I didn't have anything to say to the other person.
But I think the important factor for me is that I never got married to be married... I got married because I fell madly in love. Because I couldn't imagine a tomorrow without her, because I'm a better man with her than I ever could be without. I got married because I found someone with which I was half of a better whole.
Marriage shouldn't be anyone's goal... finding your soulmate (the one who completes you) should be.
Also, I'd point out that when looking at relationships... I shy away from anyone I have too much in common with. One of the special aspects of my relationship with my wife is that I can see the world through her eyes, from her point of view. And being different means we help expand each other rather than sticking to what is safe and comfortable for us.
Again, we're better together than we would be by ourselves... and that is the type of thing worth committing yourself to for the rest of time.
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I never cared about marriage or saw marriage as a goal. I had trouble understanding friends who said "I want to get married" when they had no one to marry. Shouldn't you want to find someone to love and then marriage is some paper work you might choose to follow through on?
But I do kind of get it now, people want the social completeness that marriage confers.
Truthfully if I was in the position of singleness again and found a relationship I would want to avoid that social completeness that marriage confers.
But I do kind of get it now, people want the social completeness that marriage confers.
Truthfully if I was in the position of singleness again and found a relationship I would want to avoid that social completeness that marriage confers.
^
Very true.
Very true.
I can see that. Not to be self-congratulatory too much, but I am great with kids, especially younger ones. They always seem to behave around me and I know how to have fun with them. I've had a few women comment on how great that is.
A pro-tip for BA; keep an open mind about just everything. That will take you far in meeting women and also in the relationship. When you find your self in a women's clothing store with your SO, you get big points for being positive the whole time and you can do that if try to find an angle to enjoy even the most obviously non-interesting situations.
I'm terrible with kids. Yesterday I was giving a little talk to a class in grade school (part of our university science communication effort), and kids kept swarming around me, trying to get my attention by grabbing my arms and shirt. I kept trying to keep them at bay, yelling "No touching the scientist! No touching the scientist!"
On the other hand, I love to go shopping with my girl friends. They say I'm their non-gay fashion consultant: I can tell them if that jeans looks good with that blouse, and tell them if it makes their ass look sexy.
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I'm terrible with kids. Yesterday I was giving a little talk to a class in grade school (part of our university science communication effort), and kids kept swarming around me, trying to get my attention by grabbing my arms and shirt. I kept trying to keep them at bay, yelling "No touching the scientist! No touching the scientist!"
On the other hand, I love to go shopping with my girl friends. They say I'm their non-gay fashion consultant: I can tell them if that jeans looks good with that blouse, and tell them if it makes their ass look sexy.
I want to say some euphemistic about "No touching the scientist", but everything I can think of sounds so wrong.With kids, I find that if you give them attention when they are being annoying, they will learn that they can get your attention by being annoying. I ignore them until they get my attention in a more proper way. It helps that they can climb all over me and I will just keep on moving with kids attached to me.
I wouldn't call myself a fashion consultant, but there is a certain aesthetic quality in women's fashion that is not there for men. Plus the horny teenager in me goes "Why WOULDN'T you want to be around women while they are changing their clothes?"
That's not really an option for me, as I'm 5'3" and I have the traction power of a bad-tempered, wet kitten.
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