I Want to Get Married

[Tora Ziyal]

Well, let me ask the females here, then... this is how I look now:

The only thing different is that I have a mustache now, because I had to shave it for a job interview, but I cannot stand the way I look without it... IMO, it makes me look much, much, younger than I am, and also a lot more passive.

But I'd like to know what YOU think... because it is said that one's own mirror is biased... so I want an impartial review... how do I look, and what could I do to look better?

Bravely diving in...

The mustache is probably making you look older than you are. Because, to me, without it you look your age. Not "much, much younger."

Whether or not you look passive has a lot more to do w/ your overall style and how you carry yourself, not w/ one specific feature such as the mustache or lack thereof.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

And, gentlemen, take note: coffee dates, as the Guide mentions, are lame.

No, they're not. They're a low-keyed, safe, inexpensive way to spend time w/ someone you don't know well. When that's where you've agreed to go. And when they're Starbucks quality or better (the coffee and especially the ambiance).

Maybe I just can't grok such a suggestion because I don't drink coffee, so what would I do? But, seriously, if you don't know them well, why not go bowling if the weather's bad, or take a walk in a park if it isn't?[/QUOTE]

Because coffee is a shorter time period and you can always talk about the coffee. It also gives you something to do with your hands, holding the coffee. And to do with pauses in the conversation, sipping the coffee. And coffee shops do sell other drinks besides coffee

Seriously who takes walks in a park? That sounds very awkward to me.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Well, let me ask the females here, then... this is how I look now:

The only thing different is that I have a mustache now, because I had to shave it for a job interview, but I cannot stand the way I look without it... IMO, it makes me look much, much, younger than I am, and also a lot more passive.

But I'd like to know what YOU think... because it is said that one's own mirror is biased... so I want an impartial review... how do I look, and what could I do to look better?

Keep in mind this is completely MY opinion and feel free to utterly disregard it.

1. Mustaches are creepy if you don't have a beard as well. People often joke about the "porn star mustache" because that's what they associate mustaches without beards with. FWIW I think you look very good without facial hair. I'm also sure people will rush into this thread to defend the mustache, lol.

I don't know about growing a beard, I'll admit I'm not partial to them. It would make you look older but I do think you also have a face that a beard would potentially look good with.

As to looking passive with no facial hair, passive also can mean "nice" which is not a bad thing.

2. How long is your hair on the back and sides? I see you have a lot of balding on the front, it often looks very good to have your hair kept super short if you're balding. Especially if you have any grey, this is a good look. I know men who did the buzz cut thing when they started balding and it looks much better.

3. Glasses are too big. Go for frameless or top frame only, the smaller thinner ones that are fashionable today. They make you look smart and in touch, LOL. At least go try a few on and see what you think

4. That is a horrible sweatshirt thing in the pic but I'm not going to assume that is what you would wear if out at social events to meet people. If you suspect your wardrobe is not particularly flattering/fashionable see if you can get some feedback from people who know you. I'm not talking total change of style and $$$ often it's just getting out of a rut and picking things carefully.

 

[Gaith]

Gaith, I don't drink coffee either. But most coffee places also serve tea or herbal tea or something.

Bowling is fine if it's something you both enjoy. A walk in the park is great once you know someone well enough to feel safe w/ them, but I probably wouldn't do it as a first date.

Maybe I should clarify... I mean city parks, such as the Boston Common, Central Park or Golden Gate Park, very public places where you can almost always see lots of other people. Ergo, places where, in daylight, one would be as safe as in any coffee shop. Not national/state parks, which I totally agree would be a bad first-date suggestion in many circumstances.

Because coffee is a shorter time period and you can always talk about the coffee. It also gives you something to do with your hands, holding the coffee. And to do with pauses in the conversation, sipping the coffee. And coffee shops do sell other drinks besides coffee

Seriously who takes walks in a park? That sounds very awkward to me.

A city park date can be just as short as a coffee one, and because you're walking, there's no awkward pressure to make constant eye contact. It's quieter, you're being mildly active, and enjoying the fresh air... Ack, what a skeezy freak am I!


BA, those specs are very large. Smaller and square-er are hipper these days. Oops, teacake got there first. I agree with her... on this.

 

[Tora Ziyal]

Because coffee is a shorter time period and you can always talk about the coffee. It also gives you something to do with your hands, holding the coffee. And to do with pauses in the conversation, sipping the coffee. And coffee shops do sell other drinks besides coffee

Exactly!

Seriously who takes walks in a park? That sounds very awkward to me.

For a first date, probably. With someone you know well and who likes the outdoors, it's a great option. And, with someone you're in love w/, long walks, even (especially?) in the rain, can be very romantic. Trust me.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

A city park date can be just as short as a coffee one, and because you're walking, there's no awkward pressure to make constant eye contact. It's quieter, you're being mildly active, and enjoying the fresh air... Ack, what a skeezy freak am I!

Sure it "can be" just as short but it doesn't have a planned out time frame like ordering, receiving, drinking a cup of coffee does. It has no obvious end to it.

 

[Jenee]

Well, let me ask the females here, then... this is how I look now:

The only thing different is that I have a mustache now, because I had to shave it for a job interview, but I cannot stand the way I look without it... IMO, it makes me look much, much, younger than I am, and also a lot more passive.

But I'd like to know what YOU think... because it is said that one's own mirror is biased... so I want an impartial review... how do I look, and what could I do to look better?

I love mustaches on guys. I love the way it feels when he kisses me both on my face as well as ... other parts of my body. - but, I'd have to see a picture of you with a mustache to tell if you look better with or without one.

But, not all women think like I do as evidenced above.

You should keep in mind, tho, that women are different than men. While looks are ... a step in the right direction and certainly gets your foot in the door, they are by no means the end all and be all of what makes a man attractive.

While speaking with a friend within the last month or so, I realized that it isn't a guys looks that keep me interested. It's how interested he stays in me. I, and my friend as well, find a man increasingly attractive the more he desires me.

I was involved with a guy not too long ago and as his desire for me waned, the less I desired him.

And, letting a women know how much you desire her goes right along with self-confidence. I really think you should start with becoming the person you want to be, then find a woman that suits you.

Seriously who takes walks in a park? That sounds very awkward to me.

Depends on your area. Lake County Illinois spends a lot of money on parks (Forest Preserves) and most are never empty - even in the middle of winter. There are plenty of things to do at the park - hiking, biking, picnicing, watching nature, dipping your toes in the lake, fishing, swimming ...

 

[BolianAuthor]

Here's a pic with the mustache, as I am now.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Here's a pic with the mustache, as I am now.

You look like a serial killer.

Seriously the first photo is like 10,000 times nicer, in fact quite nice. Unlike this one.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

Some suggestions, which you can take or leave:

* The moustache doesn't do you any favors. I agree with those who said you should probably lose it.
* Looks like you have kind of a mullet thing going on. No good.
* The sideburns also make you look older.
* Your glasses frames aren't very classy, they look like "old man" glasses.

Looking at the shape of your head and face, I might even recommend shaving your head--it would probably look better than the receding hairline, and you would look younger. I'm only four years younger than you and you look 10-15 years older than me (at least in my opinion.)

It would also help to smile.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Yes shaved or buzz cut. Balding + length in back is not a good look. You can work with the baldness and it can be quite good looking.

 

[Tora Ziyal]

BA, I agree w/ the comments about your glasses. As much as I personally like larger frames, they are not in style any more. If I've managed to give them up, you can. Find something smaller that's still a flattering shape.

And, btw, mustaches can be very flattering. Upthread, I was responding only to your concern about what age you appear. [Edited to add that I just noticed that you added a pic of yourself w/ the mustache. IMHO, clean shaven is much more flattering on you. And now that I can see more of the haircut... Give very short or even shaved a shot. It'll be more stylish, and it won't look like you're trying to compensate for the thinness on top.]

Maybe I should clarify... I mean city parks, such as the Boston Common, Central Park or Golden Gate Park, very public places where you can almost always see lots of other people. Ergo, places where, in daylight, one would be as safe as in any coffee shop. Not national/state parks, which I totally agree would be a bad first-date suggestion in many circumstances.

Good point. Many busy city or other local parks would be fine. You just have to avoid ones (or parts of huge ones) that have secluded areas too close by. Like parts of Central Park, where a quick turn of a path can suddenly put you out of sight of everyone.

 

[JarodRussell]

If you go bald, go Willis!

http://www.filmland.dk/cgi-files/products/stills/still_665_7_7_m.jpg
http://images.zap2it.com/20050218/00_hostage.jpg
http://www.sawf.org/newsphotos/hollywood/bruce_willis_16_blocks.jpg
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.luxist.com/media/2008/10/bruce-willis-in-his-1967-corvette.jpg
http://www.freakingnews.com/pictures/31500/Bruce-Willis-Beard--31646.jpg
http://static.thehollywoodgossip.com/images/gallery/bruce-willis-emma-hemming.jpg

 

[Robert Maxwell]

You can never go wrong emulating Bruce Willis.

 

[Jenee]

You definitely have a 'no mustache' face.

 

[BolianAuthor]

Okay, I will lose the mustache. I'm surprised to hear the stuff about the glasses, though... the ones I had before were much bigger, like Urkel glasses, which is why I went with these... a more serious look.

IDK about shaving my head... I REALLY like my hair, and want to keep it as long as I can, lol. If I comb normally it isn't as bad, but in that pic I have it straight back. I really don't know about the hair part... I'm real attached to it, lol... but I can definitely shave the mustache.

IDK about a goatee like Willis... someone mentioned a goatee as a possibility, but IDK how well that would work with my face. I usually try to look like Olmos, if I model after any celebrity.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Well you can always grow your hair back. You might as well try stuff out that is reversible.

Once you start balding length is not your friend.

 

[BolianAuthor]

One thing I'd like to TRY before I go hackin' away at the hair, is try to get it styled like Adama's...

http://www.werewolfpoet.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/adama.jpg

His hairline is back a bit, and I like how in the front the hair is kind of raised up, and then waves back down... I can get my hair long enough to do that, but IDK how to style it that way... but I like that look, hairstyle-wise.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

That might be a good look if you're 60, and it looks good on him, but I'm not so sure it would look good on you.

 

[Tora Ziyal]

IDK about a goatee like Willis... someone mentioned a goatee as a possibility, but IDK how well that would work with my face.

Nope, can't see a goatee on you.