Well, things haven't been going as great lately. May the 4th of looming on the horizon like a monster that I cannot escape. I think it's probably effecting the way I interact with my girlfriend, as my new "playing it cool" strategy has been failing me lately. I almost lost it with her in an argument over WrestleMania.
I was talking about how excited I was about it when she said she was looking forward to watching it with me. This floored me. Not just that she'd want to watch it with me, but that she'd just assume she was without even asking. I instantly knew what it felt like to be trapped in a relationship and for a moment was almost glad that she was going away. This was really selfish and immature of me and a huge step back from the man I am now. I quickly realized that I should think it's cool that my girlfriend is becoming interested in my main hobby. Still, I always watch WrestleMania with the guys: Thames, Ed-Legs, Shawn and sometimes Mad Dave. We never have girls joining us. Except my half cousin one year, but she's different from normal girls (she has Asperger's.)
I calmed down and asked her why she wanted to watch it. She said she was starting to kind of enjoy wrestling from the few times I'd watched it with her in the room as it was "quite funny" (not sure what she meant there) and she'd been impressed by some of the athletics on the Christian wrestling show I'd worked on, if not the storytelling and overal production. I explained that I usually watched it with the guys. She pointed out that Thames probably wouldn't be there this year and I was forced to agree. I haven't spoken to him since that time he came over with his stupid kids, which is really unusual as we used to speak every day. And Mad Dave is unreliable and wasn't at last year's WrestleMania. That just leaves Shawn and Ed-Legs and Shawn is more Thames' friend...and I don't really want to watch it alone with Ed-Legs. He's weird. It's really annoying as I like to watch with as many people as possible so we can share the bill. But with just me and Ed-Legs we'd both be paying quite a lot. And even if my girlfriend came in would she pay her share or just expect to watch WrestleMania on my dime? Plus I'd have to explain all the storylines to her (she's already confused as to why The Rock is doing a match when he's such a good actor and doesn't need to) and that would distract me.
I had to put my foot down and tell her she couldn't come. But then she just laughed like I was joking! This seems to happen a lot and it's starting to annoy me.
Also things are still progressing slowly with her in one area of our relationship. I don't want to say anymore but I think you know what I mean. It's been a long journey. We've come so close to reaching our "destination" in this "journey" if you know what I mean. But we never quite seem to arrive. It's worrying me, becaues if we're not close in every way by May 4th then I may lose her. And, despite how challenging our relationship can sometimes be, I can't let that happen. I won't let that happen.