It's sad that there are still people who are opposed to "interracial" relationships.
I need a little advice..or a pat on the back
- Thread starter freak
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Yeah, I know RJ. It really is none of this guy's business and he admitted that to me yesterday. If he "doesn't care" like he says, why is he nailing this into the ground and why is he still making a big deal about this? He's turning into someone that I don't wish to spend time with anymore. And that's really sad cause he's a good friend..or so I thought. I couldn't sleep last night because of it either. Even though i told my Aunt, I still think that somehow this is all gonna get back to Dad and no matter what i do, NOONE is gonna believe the truth. I'm not for sure which friend told him about this so-called rumor but I'm not happy at the moment. It churns my stomach that he, of all people, would believe a big fat lie without even hearing my side of it. Anyway, that's neither here nor there. At least I have two people who DO believe me! That's a plus. What gets me though is that he doesn't think I'm telling the truth..that I'm a big fat liar and he doesn't trust when I'm telling the truth or not. I don't think I should get Mom involved because this doesn't really concern her. Glen's gonna believe what he wishes to believe, no matter what I say to him. If Dad knew about this then there'd be hell to pay. He's against interracial marriage as am I. I just hope my Aunt doesn't tell Dad about this...like she said she wouldn't.
Girl, you are too naive.
The "toying" is the game you're playing, thinking that you can go along talking with this guy and have no problems arise. See, you like "being noticed." Now find someone who's more emotionally stable to be friends with.
Listen to your Mom and Aunt and stay the hell away from this guy. Your Dad's opinion on "being friends" is just wrong. He doesn't understand the equation. He has no right to be jealous (and that's how he sounds) about what you do--which should be HUGE red flags to you. He's a liar who's willing to hurt you, disbelieve you, and spread rumors about you--and IT'S NONE OF HIS BUSINESS.
You don't want a full-out relationship with anyone (and it would be a bad idea for you right now). You need to learn how to establish stable friendships with people you respect who respect you back. Work on that for a year or so. Then, once you've gotten yourself grounded in who you are and what you want, you'll find that the persons available for relationships are of a matching type--stable people who won't fly off the handle.
You see the person you are reflected in the friends you have. Look at this guy and the drunk coming on to you....is that who you are? I don't think so, or you wouldn't be upset.
Don't think, don't wonder what you should do, don't worry about it. Just remove yourself from the situation. If he comments, tell him you've decided to have a quieter social life for awhile. If he gets mad, tell him that it's your life and you've deccided to look at where you want to be and the best way for you to get there. And you want/need to be left alone for a while to figure this out. If he still gets mad, he doesn't respect you, doesn't care about your needs, and poses a potential threat. You two don't have the type of relationship where he should be getting so angry about your actions. If he does, that a danger signal.
And please break up your paragraphs for easier reading?
The "toying" is the game you're playing, thinking that you can go along talking with this guy and have no problems arise. See, you like "being noticed." Now find someone who's more emotionally stable to be friends with.
Listen to your Mom and Aunt and stay the hell away from this guy. Your Dad's opinion on "being friends" is just wrong. He doesn't understand the equation. He has no right to be jealous (and that's how he sounds) about what you do--which should be HUGE red flags to you. He's a liar who's willing to hurt you, disbelieve you, and spread rumors about you--and IT'S NONE OF HIS BUSINESS.
You don't want a full-out relationship with anyone (and it would be a bad idea for you right now). You need to learn how to establish stable friendships with people you respect who respect you back. Work on that for a year or so. Then, once you've gotten yourself grounded in who you are and what you want, you'll find that the persons available for relationships are of a matching type--stable people who won't fly off the handle.
You see the person you are reflected in the friends you have. Look at this guy and the drunk coming on to you....is that who you are? I don't think so, or you wouldn't be upset.
Don't think, don't wonder what you should do, don't worry about it. Just remove yourself from the situation. If he comments, tell him you've decided to have a quieter social life for awhile. If he gets mad, tell him that it's your life and you've deccided to look at where you want to be and the best way for you to get there. And you want/need to be left alone for a while to figure this out. If he still gets mad, he doesn't respect you, doesn't care about your needs, and poses a potential threat. You two don't have the type of relationship where he should be getting so angry about your actions. If he does, that a danger signal.
And please break up your paragraphs for easier reading?
Thanks, propita for your advice. Right now, I feel the same way at the moment. And yes, I'm too naiive for my own good!
What I need to do is to sit down and figure out what I want out of life and then find someone who is emotionally stable who won't fly off the handle at everything I say or do. I'm gonna keep my social life quiet for a while anyway and will talk to him later on today if he should call. Dad can't even get ahold of him so who knows where he is or what he's doing!
Sorry about my paragraph spacing..when I'm angry I tend to vent in big paragraphs without worrying about spacing! For that, I'm sorry.
The other day I felt like a monster..and realized that this guy does NOT have my best interests at heart anymore. Personally I think he's being really ignorant and not hearing my side of things before jumping to conclusions. It is NONE OF HIS BUSINESS ANYWAY. I also think that that girlfriend of his..if his wife ever found out about..will come back to bite HIM in the ass later on. And should something happen, and she break up with him, I'm not gonna be around to help pick up the pieces.
I do indeed see the person i am in the people I hang out with and worry too much about what others think of me..this is what I need to work on myself and overcome that obsticle and "grow up" so to speak.
If Dad knew the equation he'd be livid..and I'm not gonna tell him about it at this time. It would cause an even bigger rift in his and Dad's relationship.
Anyway, he called and said he was gonna come by and talk for just a second.
What I need to do is to sit down and figure out what I want out of life and then find someone who is emotionally stable who won't fly off the handle at everything I say or do. I'm gonna keep my social life quiet for a while anyway and will talk to him later on today if he should call. Dad can't even get ahold of him so who knows where he is or what he's doing!
Sorry about my paragraph spacing..when I'm angry I tend to vent in big paragraphs without worrying about spacing! For that, I'm sorry.
The other day I felt like a monster..and realized that this guy does NOT have my best interests at heart anymore. Personally I think he's being really ignorant and not hearing my side of things before jumping to conclusions. It is NONE OF HIS BUSINESS ANYWAY. I also think that that girlfriend of his..if his wife ever found out about..will come back to bite HIM in the ass later on. And should something happen, and she break up with him, I'm not gonna be around to help pick up the pieces.
I do indeed see the person i am in the people I hang out with and worry too much about what others think of me..this is what I need to work on myself and overcome that obsticle and "grow up" so to speak.
If Dad knew the equation he'd be livid..and I'm not gonna tell him about it at this time. It would cause an even bigger rift in his and Dad's relationship.
Anyway, he called and said he was gonna come by and talk for just a second.
Update: he came by and apologize for the way he acted towards me. He's gonna have to earn my forgiveness, although I appreciated him coming by and apologizing to me.
We're still gonna be friends..just not like before. I still think that deep down he is still pissed off at me and is shunning me out of his life completely because of one measly incident. I told him that from now on I'm gonna keep my social life on the down-low and in the quiet cause i gotta figure out what's best for me. I'm still hurt and deeply depressed about the matter and situation, but this is for the best. Besides, I think he's gonna be leaving the area for good in a few days anyway. I personally think he hates me now..but if he does hate me, I don't really care.
We will talk more probably later on though..just right now I wanna keep things very professional between the both of us. I'll try not to pry into his life if he promises to back off on mine. So that's the way that cookie crumbles.
We're still gonna be friends..just not like before. I still think that deep down he is still pissed off at me and is shunning me out of his life completely because of one measly incident. I told him that from now on I'm gonna keep my social life on the down-low and in the quiet cause i gotta figure out what's best for me. I'm still hurt and deeply depressed about the matter and situation, but this is for the best. Besides, I think he's gonna be leaving the area for good in a few days anyway. I personally think he hates me now..but if he does hate me, I don't really care.
We will talk more probably later on though..just right now I wanna keep things very professional between the both of us. I'll try not to pry into his life if he promises to back off on mine. So that's the way that cookie crumbles.
I wanted everyone to know that we sort of "patched things up a bit". He's gonna have to earn my trust, respect and forgiveness back before I let him in again.
Last night he called and apologized for everything. He has been miserable(as he should be!) this whole week and has done nothing but mope about everywhere like a lost puppy. I also made it clear to him that we are just really good freinds and nothing more so there's a mutual understanding between us. Also, this time I may not hang around him as much anymore to avoid more conflict.
All of his friends around him knew there was something afoot..including his wife! As far as his girlfriend is concerned, there was no girlfriend to begin with. I think I just misunderstood. He went over to Susan's(so-called girlfriend) place the other night and she realized something was amiss with him. I gained a little respect for her in that she was concerned but then lost most of it when she shunned him and told him to get out and go patch things up. I don't think she wants to be second best with him. I believe they are now at odds and hopefully i hope I was not the problem. Personally he is not my property and I'm not his property either. She begged to differ because he was so miserable. Anyway, she's not moving back to my area..she's going back to Texas and staying there for a while(which she should!) to get away from him.
We might not hang out as much anymore..but we will indeed phone more, which is better I think.
Yall might think I'm crazy for taking him back, but this is what my heart is telling me to do. He is mister fix-it and has done tremendous work for the house, like cutting trees, fixing my toilet, fixing my car, looking at the refrigerator and fixing the dryer without us having to call someone and spend a small fortune. I would seriously hate losing him as a friend..BIG TIME!
So just so everyone here knows..things are mutual between the two of us..it's gonna take a LONG TIME for me..but I'm willing to at least try and mend things up.
Last night he called and apologized for everything. He has been miserable(as he should be!) this whole week and has done nothing but mope about everywhere like a lost puppy. I also made it clear to him that we are just really good freinds and nothing more so there's a mutual understanding between us. Also, this time I may not hang around him as much anymore to avoid more conflict.
All of his friends around him knew there was something afoot..including his wife! As far as his girlfriend is concerned, there was no girlfriend to begin with. I think I just misunderstood. He went over to Susan's(so-called girlfriend) place the other night and she realized something was amiss with him. I gained a little respect for her in that she was concerned but then lost most of it when she shunned him and told him to get out and go patch things up. I don't think she wants to be second best with him. I believe they are now at odds and hopefully i hope I was not the problem. Personally he is not my property and I'm not his property either. She begged to differ because he was so miserable. Anyway, she's not moving back to my area..she's going back to Texas and staying there for a while(which she should!) to get away from him.
We might not hang out as much anymore..but we will indeed phone more, which is better I think.
Yall might think I'm crazy for taking him back, but this is what my heart is telling me to do. He is mister fix-it and has done tremendous work for the house, like cutting trees, fixing my toilet, fixing my car, looking at the refrigerator and fixing the dryer without us having to call someone and spend a small fortune. I would seriously hate losing him as a friend..BIG TIME!So just so everyone here knows..things are mutual between the two of us..it's gonna take a LONG TIME for me..but I'm willing to at least try and mend things up.
