I met someone ?
- Thread starter sbk1234
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No, I'm not, i'm incredibly wise. There's loads of people who flirt and don't go any further. For your information, I read of one Playboy photographer who photographed women, nude, every day, and saved it all up for his wife, on the night. Read De Kelley's book. He was tortured, cos he had offers, flirted, and saved it all up, and took it to Carolyn, cos she meant more. Tony Blair stayed true.
Don't be foolish enough to leave people alone together, obviously, keep an eye on them. Some people aren't that strong willed, in that case, don't even look. I've met women I totally ignored, cos i knew what it would lead to, hopeless addiction, and i headed myself off at the pass
Look at your comment, now back to mine. Now back at your comment, now back to mine. Sadly, it isn’t mine, but if you stopped trolling and started posting legitimate comments, it could look like mine. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re scrolling through comments, writing the comment your comment could look like. What did you post? Back at mine, it’s a reply saying something you want to hear. Look again, the reply is now diamonds. Anything is possible when you think before you post.
Jarod,
I was replying to australis, who used the word flirting, i think he was referring to me, though he didn't quote. I talked of flirting, which I know some people with solid marriages do, and which I do, and which I don't do, if I know it will lead to something I can't handle.
Know your weaknesses and try to weigh up a night between the sheets, against an empty front room, with a note on the mantlepiece, I would say. Or, a bit of flirting and double entendre that could give a bit more passion with the person you signed a bit of paper with,
I was replying to australis, who used the word flirting, i think he was referring to me, though he didn't quote. I talked of flirting, which I know some people with solid marriages do, and which I do, and which I don't do, if I know it will lead to something I can't handle.
Know your weaknesses and try to weigh up a night between the sheets, against an empty front room, with a note on the mantlepiece, I would say. Or, a bit of flirting and double entendre that could give a bit more passion with the person you signed a bit of paper with,
In combination with your av, this is gold. Gold. Standing ovation.JarodRussell said:
I know a little something about this. I know how she makes you feel so much better, happier and confident. Being around her gives you those "butterflies". You might think (fantasize) to yourself that being with her will make you happier than the current relationship that you're in.
I've been there before. It started out as a friendship. One day I acted on my feelings for her in a moment of weakness. It changed my life. I almost lost my wife and my sanity. Turns out, she really didn't care for me as much as she enjoyed the attention she was getting.
Your wife has already commited to loving you even though things may turn shitty in your relationship. She has an investment in your life especially with kids. What has this other chick invested? What does she have to lose? What will you really gain. Once you act, it's a scar on your life that never goes away.
The regret that you will feel from not acting on your feelings is nothing compared to the lifelong pain you and your family will feel if you do.
Turn away now before it's too late and leave her alone, forget about her. Go home and kiss your kids and your wife knowing that you love them with all your heart and you would never do anything to hurt them. Be prideful of the fact that you can look them all in the eyes with a clear conscience knowing that you're a man of integrity.
I know you haven't done anything yet . Just heed this warning - please don't wind up like me, don't make the same mistakes I have.
I've been there before. It started out as a friendship. One day I acted on my feelings for her in a moment of weakness. It changed my life. I almost lost my wife and my sanity. Turns out, she really didn't care for me as much as she enjoyed the attention she was getting.
Your wife has already commited to loving you even though things may turn shitty in your relationship. She has an investment in your life especially with kids. What has this other chick invested? What does she have to lose? What will you really gain. Once you act, it's a scar on your life that never goes away.
The regret that you will feel from not acting on your feelings is nothing compared to the lifelong pain you and your family will feel if you do.
Turn away now before it's too late and leave her alone, forget about her. Go home and kiss your kids and your wife knowing that you love them with all your heart and you would never do anything to hurt them. Be prideful of the fact that you can look them all in the eyes with a clear conscience knowing that you're a man of integrity.
I know you haven't done anything yet . Just heed this warning - please don't wind up like me, don't make the same mistakes I have.
^ I was going to say that!
Every so often, I want to point out posts of the week. This clearly goes far beyond that.
Every so often, I want to point out posts of the week. This clearly goes far beyond that.
Do we usually have any kind of thread of the year/post of the year wrap-up threads around here? It might be fun to review the year that way.
Not that I know of. It would require more effort than I'm willing to do. But we're off topic, so I'll stop here. 
Everything you say makes complete and utter sense. One of the issues is my wife and I do have problems (What marriage doesn't?), but I've been too scared to talk about my side of things. I've just been on the recieving end. Taking your advice, I do know that I must talk things out with my wife, and give my side of things.
If we don't make it, I don't want it to be because of this other person who is not even "The other woman." We've had problems since long before I met this lady.
Thanks, for your wise words.
I knew I'd read your sig before!! I was thinking about it the other day!!
Moving on- it seems like a big part of your problems are probably the fact that communication in your relationship with your wife has broken down. It can feel weird opening up again, but you can do it- you've done it before, you're just out of practice.
Have a calm, rational discussion with no accusation. If it gets heated, leave it til you've calmed down. Keep it open, with no exaggeration. I think your heart is in the right place, and if you both value your word and each other as much as you seem to, you'll pull through.
I think I would have laid down the lines on the first proposal of marriage and I would be very, very, candid and I would expect her to be, too. Whether I can look, whether she can look, whether I can touch another woman, whether she can touch another man. What we are going to tell our kids about life and how they are going to be brought up. What is going to be thrown and destroyed if the boundaries broken.
Though women can lie, and I must admit, pictures in girlie magazines would tempt me as a married man, and if the real thing was pressed up to me, in the kitchen, after a drink, it would be hard, especially if I was about 50 something and she was about 25.
I know John Lennon was so besotted and devoted, Yoko encouraged him to have an affair with May Pang, just to get rid of him for a few months. I do know that.
Though women can lie, and I must admit, pictures in girlie magazines would tempt me as a married man, and if the real thing was pressed up to me, in the kitchen, after a drink, it would be hard, especially if I was about 50 something and she was about 25.
I know John Lennon was so besotted and devoted, Yoko encouraged him to have an affair with May Pang, just to get rid of him for a few months. I do know that.
[/QUOTE]
Everything you say makes complete and utter sense. One of the issues is my wife and I do have problems (What marriage doesn't?), but I've been too scared to talk about my side of things. I've just been on the recieving end. Taking your advice, I do know that I must talk things out with my wife, and give my side of things.
If we don't make it, I don't want it to be because of this other person who is not even "The other woman." We've had problems since long before I met this lady.
Thanks, for your wise words.[/QUOTE]
Congrats to you for trying to talk to your wife and work things out. Admitting that there is a problem is always the first step. I wish you guys the best.
Just remember, make-up sex is awesome.
Everything you say makes complete and utter sense. One of the issues is my wife and I do have problems (What marriage doesn't?), but I've been too scared to talk about my side of things. I've just been on the recieving end. Taking your advice, I do know that I must talk things out with my wife, and give my side of things.
If we don't make it, I don't want it to be because of this other person who is not even "The other woman." We've had problems since long before I met this lady.
Thanks, for your wise words.[/QUOTE]
Congrats to you for trying to talk to your wife and work things out. Admitting that there is a problem is always the first step. I wish you guys the best.
Just remember, make-up sex is awesome.
That would raise red flags for many women, making a list of demands/expectations during the proposal process, even if they had no intentions of having an affair. My fiancee would have dumped me a long time ago if I tried to talk to her that way, and she isn't the cheating kind. She would have thought I was thinking about having an affair. I suspect she isn't the only one who would react that way.
Just because it's a commitment doesn't mean it has to be eternal. People sometimes change over the years and the person you have fallen in love with may have changed so much as to be almost completely different. I don't subscribe to the "together until death" part if the partners have drifted so much apart that it's near impossible to come back together. They should try and this is what you're about to do.. talk and bring it out in the open. Sometimes the partner just doesn't realize what's up and you have to give them the chance to evaluate their points and come to an agreement. That you are taking this step is good and maybe you two can work out these differences.
If not however and you've exhausted all possibilities you may need to make some hard choices.. don't be like my mother who's suffered under my dad and is unhappy just because she was afraid of making that hard choice.
I find your use of the word "premature" to be suspicious, it's not a word you use when you have no intention of pursuing something..
True.. you're definitely giving off that vibe. Don't make any rash decisions and especially not because you feel an attraction to someone else just because you share some interests. As they say the gras is always greener on the other side but don't make this the basis of your decision or the hope of getting together if you choose to end your marriage.
Lots of rational posts here. Take it easy, be conservative, maintain the status quo.
Here's a radical idea - do what feels right. Take a break for a few days, go out on a day trip or go camping or go to a sci fi convention, do whatever you do when you need to recharge and just relax and be yourself. Then let your intuition guide you.
Are you happy?
Here's a radical idea - do what feels right. Take a break for a few days, go out on a day trip or go camping or go to a sci fi convention, do whatever you do when you need to recharge and just relax and be yourself. Then let your intuition guide you.
Are you happy?
