Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by Coloratura, Sep 16, 2010.
^^ I just hope you don't really mean "ignore it" when you say "handle it".
All I ever wanted from the time I graduated was the things I mentioned in my "What Do You Want?" thread...Financial Security(Career), A House Of My Own, Get Married & Have Children and everyone I knew from high school and family members my age...all of this came to them with ease over the past 14 years and has eluded me...if I hit 35 and I am still where I am now and not on the way to obtaining what I desire...I am done...I can't see living like this any more.
You've got to move past this, J. You're not where you want to be in life, and other people seemingly are. And the time has gone by way faster than you ever expected.
But you're still young. I think when we start getting up around thirty we think omg, I'm getting old, life is passing me by, I haven't accomplished what I thought I would. But really there's plenty of time to make more out of life.
I feel like an idiot sometimes because I'm going back for a bachelors at 27, surrounded by skinny little girls wearing the latest fashions, going to college events, dating, with their futures wide open before them. But fuck that. The nice thing about getting older is that you know what you want and you're more capable of obtaining it.
You've got to get a more positive attitude, man. No one's life goes exactly as planned, but we take those detours and they become a part of us. You have so much time ahead of you, but it's only worth something if you actually do something with it.
I try to keep heart and remember the line from the Desiderata that says, "If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. "
Sometimes in practice it becomes difficult.
Yeah, that's exactly how I feel about it.
I agree with what you're saying and I know you're right (you should be used to me saying this ). I think my stint of unemployment (going on 27 months now) has really brought my optimism down to a dull finish. A job would give me something to shoot for, a way back to moving forward instead of standing still.
I'd much rather be the optimist I was than the pessimist that sits at the edge of my awareness.
It's been 12 years since I graduated high school. It's sometimes difficult for me to fathom how that much time could have possibly passed. I still have very fond memories of my senior year of high school and my freshman year of college. Those were the "good times" that I think about every once in a while. I had a really nice circle of friends, few cares in the world, and a lot of fun. Every once in a while, I yearn to return to those days. To have all of those people around me once again. The good news is that I am still friends with many of those people, though we are now more spread out and may not see one another that often. But we've all grown up. We've got jobs and responsibilities and the "real world". Some have started families. All I want is to get everyone together again and just hang out and have a good time, but that'll never happen because of conflicting schedules, busy lives or geographical barriers. It sucks but it's just the way it is.
That's not the only thing to focus on. Also note that time IS rapidly passing by, faster than you expect. Make changes now that you want. Making changes later in life, while possible, only seems to get harder and harder.
The more important parts to focus on are your goals and the time available.
One day there won't be plenty of time. I suggest you start making changes that you want now.
Seriously, great attitude Kestra! I think that is perfect and kudos to you! There's nothing more powerful than a person who knows what they want and how they can get it. The great thing is that you've already positioned yourself for this change, you're doing it. Much better than sitting around moping about it while time goes by.
Wow, you're inspiring me to want to go back college, skinny girls and all, even though I don't need another degree!
Yeah I would go to college for some skinny girls!
After getting some sleep, I do feel a bit better today. I put on a little Oasis - "What's the Story, Morning Glory?" and felt better, too. I wish I could control some of these plummets in my mood. I do work to maintain a positive attitude, but sometimes it all just crumbles away, and then I feel terrible.
it might be the year in itself. 2010. Anyone born in the mid-80s or earlier has spent a good amount of their life thinking of the year 2000 as the moment when the future gets started. Here it is, ten years after the "beginning" of the "future." The future is in the past, but it feels like the present. It can be disorienting.
That makes a lot of sense, too.
If things are the same in 2015...
Then you push onward. Every day is a new day to start fresh.
See what I mean? Then again, I might just be a case of "Physician heal thyself".
Okay, see, that's the stuff I cannot do, or I wind up a sniffly mess at 2 AM. Me+late 90s music=wayyyyyy too much introspection for anyone's good.
I can definitely see what a constant drag that would be on your self-esteem and motivation. But if you're standing still in that regard, why not try to move forward in other areas? It won't solve the unemployment issue, but you could build your self-confidence through other areas of improvement.
Heh, thanks. It's been a big boost to my self-esteem in an unexpected way. I feel intelligent and capable in ways I didn't before. I think sometimes it's about a combination of things, doing something when you're ready to and not when you're forced to.
I have added a constant undercurrent of anxiety about getting into graduate school, but I try to tell myself I'll deal with that when the time comes.
I prefer the line from National Lampoon's Deteriorata: “Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself, and heed well their advice, even though they be turkeys.”
None of this is necessarily bad. The fact that you're searching for a job that interests you is a good thing instead of just starting one and sticking with it forever even if you hate it. A lot of people do that. Ditto with getting married.
Aye, I know. I'm generally ok with it, on a day-to-day basis, I'm relatively happy with things. I have fantastic friends (two of whom, I live with), an amazing family (parents and sister), and I love how much freedom I have in my life. I just have occasional days where I wonder where the time went, as it does sometimes feel like the last 10 years just vanished into the ether, with not a great deal of accomplishments to show for it.
Not to worry, though. Every day is another opportunity.
I feel really old reading this thread.
To me, this sounds like you're just trying to control the symptoms rather than trying to find the cure. Kestra's idea of moving forward in other areas is a great one. Keep trying to find a job, but try to move forward in other areas.
Back in my academic days, I've did some research into the predictors of graduate level academic success for a large scholarship program (I was helping to redesign their selection criteria). The biggest predictors were not the typical academic measures like the GRE, but basically any measure of persistence and perserverance. These personality traits translate to academic success much better than academic measures!
And, from all appearances, you've got large amounts of these traits!! So, I wouldn't be worried. Stay dedicated and passionate about what you're doing and you'll be just fine.
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