I don't think I can deal with anything anymore.

[ed629]

I'm burned out at school, had a test today, couldn't study for it yesterday. Started off 2 days ago with the fucking bitch I'm still attached to, she kept asking me for money, told her several times I can't give her any. So that went into a full blown argument where I told her a bunch of crap I've been holding back. A few hours later it was done with. Then yesterday she brings up the same shit that started the fight. We have another huge fight, told her to get the fuck out of my house, get the fuck out off my life, and that she is pretty much the worst fucking human I've known, that she'll never amount to anything, that she's going to spend the rest of her life being a complete and total fuckup. And that she's nothing but a fucking constant drain on everyone and everything she touches.

Then auto-pay didn't work, water if cut off at the house. Stiull not back on yet.

Then earlier this year had to replace the engine in the car when the head gasket went and coolant got in the oil, engine was trashed.

No matter what I try, things constantly go wrong... so fuck it I'm done. I'm dropping out of school at the end of the semester, selling the house and getting the fuck out of here. Fuck I'm considering taking whatever I get for the house and just going on a trip and when the money runs out, after that I really don't care what happens.

 

[An Officer]

I am sorry you feel so awful

Don't let a silly girl and some momentary practical bumps ruin your life. Grit your teeth, you'll get through it, and you'll wonder later what all the fuss was about.

I would say, talk to someone you trust, who you know can make you feel better about this (asking for help is the best thing you can do for yourself sometimes)... if that's not possible, take a couple of days for yourself, doing things you like that cheer you up, go to the cinema, cook a delicious meal, go on a nice stroll, anything to make you forget and get a new perspective on things. No matter what you do, don't wallow! Self-pity can make you drown pretty fast. You are in control of your emotions, they are not in control of you.

Good luck - I'm sure you'll bounce back just fine. Also, it's okay to cry sometimes, you'll feel better. And if you write your thoughts down, it can help you to focus and plan how you're going to move on from this. Try writing 10 important things you are grateful for, gratitude is one of the best feel good emotions when you want to drown other negative feelings out. The point is, keep trying, don't give up, you'll get to where you want to be sooner or later.

 

[ed629]

That's the thing, I don't have anything right that I can say I'm happy about or feel good about. I've been doing the keep trying thing for the last 6-8 months, and there isn't anything that is motivating me anymore.Not school, not personal life, I don't even enjoy anything. I feel agitated almost all the time, I have a hard time falling asleep, usually I just end up passing out, then it takes a huge amount of effort to get up in the morning. I just took another test for a class online, and got a 62% on it, and it didn't even bother me.

 

[propita]

So ... you want to go on a walkabout?

Don’t sell your house--rent it out through a management company. At least you won’t lose that while you take the time to figure out what it is you want in life.

But good on ditching the psycho girlfriend. I’ve read your other threads about her.

 

[Cheapjack]

Agree with propita.

And/or, you could get a motor home thingy.

 

[BlobVanDam]

Life can turn around quickly, both for the better as well as for the worse. Even though things may suck right now, do what you think is right and try to remain optimistic. Hopefully things will turn around soon enough for you.

 

[An Officer]

Perhaps you are depressed, the inablity to sleep, and the difficulty rising doesn't sound too good. Do you get enough exercise? Do you eat a well-balanced diet? Sometimes, that's all it takes to feel better. The exercise makes you sleep whether you like it or not. And a fruit, veg, and lean meat diet will invigorate you before you know it.

Hold on just a little longer, and be kind to yourself, instead of criticising, start praising. Start a new sport. Grocery shop healthier, do, watch, and say only positive things. You need to take this very seriously to nip it in the bud. You need to start rewiring your brain, re-organising your life. What is it that makes you feel so awful? The girlfriend? She's gone now. Studies? They have an end date. Plus they will get easier once you start sleeping and resting your mind and body.

From what I remember, you are a pretty young man - so I imagine you have a lot to be grateful for:

Your health?
A roof over your head?
Food in your belly?
Access to education?
A safe environment?
Time to play?
A resourceful mind (you don't sound like you have any slowness issues or anything)
A family?
Freedom to do and be what you want?

Have you felt what it like to be without any of those things? If you did, you would feel very grateful after the fact, I assure you. You just need to get a perspective on your situation. It is never as bad as you think. You simply need to do a realistic, objective assessment of your situation, and plan how to move forward positively. That will take time and effort. Like I said, don't wallow, it is extremely self-destructive - there is a chore of steel in all of us, find yours. You can take far more than you think.

 

[infinix]

What are you in school for? If you think having everything go wrong while you are in school sucks right now, wait until you are under-paid, and then have everything go wrong.

Chances are your salary will be higher if you stay in school and actually graduate. There will always be things going wrong in your life. While money ain't going to buy you happiness, it better to be facing those problems with money than without.

 

[Mr Silver]

I can't offer much advice, but one of the best things I learned to do where troublesome women (or men) are concerned is just back off. Leave her to it, she is not your responsiblity, seriously just give it up on it, its over. Obsession will drive you further into despair. You don't need her, she's just using you. So say goodbye to her and never give her money!

Once thats out of the way, you'll feel really good and will have more energy to sort the other stuff out. Be strong my man

 

[Robert Maxwell]

Yeah, why are you still with this person if she makes you so miserable?

 

[Mr Awe]

And that she's nothing but a fucking constant drain on everyone and everything she touches.

Everything will be much better with that leach out of your life. Don't let her back in. Don't carryover the negative emotions from your time with her. Do let the new normal develop and see what happens. Right now you're holding on to old negative stuff.

Then auto-pay didn't work, water if cut off at the house. Stiull not back on yet.

Well, they don't just cut the water off if you're just late with one payment. You must've let it go for awhile. Don't blame the auto-pay, you must've gotten warnings. Not trying to bag on you but just showing that the world isn't out to get you. You can do things to change the outcome for the better. Some of these are the little things, just being on top of things.

No matter what I try, things constantly go wrong... so fuck it I'm done. I'm dropping out of school at the end of the semester, selling the house and getting the fuck out of here. Fuck I'm considering taking whatever I get for the house and just going on a trip and when the money runs out, after that I really don't care what happens.

Well, you'll really be fucked if you drop out of schoold. Stick with it. Without the leach in your life, you'll have more energy to devote towards it. Again, let your new normal develop before you make rash decisions.

Mr Awe

 

[Mr Awe]

That's the thing, I don't have anything right that I can say I'm happy about or feel good about.

You've dumped a leach. That's a POSITIVE. You'll have more time and energy to devote towards yourself. Feel good about that.

Mr Awe

 

[JarodRussell]

You have your own house, but go to school? How old are you?

 

[infinix]

^

I was thinking the same thing but I assume that he might be in a PhD program or law school or med school. Which would make it a horrible idea to quite and not finish.

 

[KJbushway]

I know what your going through. What you need to do is calm down. First there is always a solution, don't drop out, just to go your teacher explained what happened and asked can you please take it again or make it up some how, if you don't get anywhere with her, then go above her.
The house issue I know all to well.
My houses septic system wasn't emptied by the previous owners since they bought the house(15 years they lived in it)
One night the bottom stairs bathroom tub filled up, no one could take a shower, hardly use the toilet and or wash hands. My family was already in money issues, it costs us 750 to get it drained. However, before that happened, the tub filled up to much, we poured drain gels and rid-x to try to clear the pipes it didn't work. I had to manly clean the bathroom, and in the process got my legs and arms soaked in the back up water. I got chemical burns all up my arms and down my legs. It still backs up from now and then, but its becuase the drain field is screwed up. Then during the 99 degree weather our air conditioner went, for a week the heat was bad. Things happened one after another. My so called friends haven't even contacted me, even though I gave my number out for the first time.
I was pissed like you, but I had to do what I told you. Calm down, find a solution because every situation has one.
Once you do this, life will get a little better. Just calm down. Find a solution. A prepare yourself so stuff like this doesn't happen again.

 

[Mr Awe]

I know what your going through. What you need to do is calm down, let some time pass before you talk to her. Then ask her if she can come over to talk, cook some food, don't jump into conversation about what happened. Then near the end, explain what happened to you, why you blew up, say that your sorry and can the both of you just stay friends. That will work itself out.

NOOOOOO! He doesn't need someone like that in his life. Let her go. Start a new. Screw being friends with a needy leech!

Mr Awe

 

[KJbushway]

yeah sorry I had missed that part about things he had been holding back. yes mr. Awe is correct get some new friends, maybe a girl in your class.

 

[propita]

yeah sorry I had missed that part about things he had been holding back. yes mr. Awe is correct get some new friends, maybe a girl in your class.

He doesn't need a new girlfriend! He needs to take time to figure things out without a relationship going on. Whether he stays in his house and with his routine (minus ex-GF), or goes on the road, wrong time for a relationship. Until he knows what he wants, or at least calms down enough to evaluate things more clearly, he won't even know what he'd really want in a girl.

But whoever posted about not quitting school if he's near the end-- good idea. Finish that up and, while doing that, plan out a couple of possible plans of action for self-evaluation. What questions do want to answer? What methods might you use to answer them?

 

[JiNX-01]

I'm burned out at school, had a test today, couldn't study for it yesterday. Started off 2 days ago with the fucking bitch I'm still attached to, she kept asking me for money, told her several times I can't give her any. So that went into a full blown argument where I told her a bunch of crap I've been holding back. A few hours later it was done with. Then yesterday she brings up the same shit that started the fight. We have another huge fight, told her to get the fuck out of my house, get the fuck out off my life, and that she is pretty much the worst fucking human I've known, that she'll never amount to anything, that she's going to spend the rest of her life being a complete and total fuckup. And that she's nothing but a fucking constant drain on everyone and everything she touches.

Then auto-pay didn't work, water if cut off at the house. Stiull not back on yet.

Then earlier this year had to replace the engine in the car when the head gasket went and coolant got in the oil, engine was trashed.

No matter what I try, things constantly go wrong... so fuck it I'm done. I'm dropping out of school at the end of the semester, selling the house and getting the fuck out of here. Fuck I'm considering taking whatever I get for the house and just going on a trip and when the money runs out, after that I really don't care what happens.

Life Rule No. 1: It is always a bad idea to make decisions when you're angry and upset.

I strongly suggest you look into getting some counseling, which should be available for free (or a small fee) on campus.

You might also want to seek advice on your plans to sell the house and run away from home. Unless your mortgage principle is really low, you might not make much money on the sale (don't forget, buyer and seller have closing costs and if you're in a buyer's market, the buyers might expect you to pay their closing costs as well).

 

[WillsBabe]

You're going through a bad patch and sound very stressed. My experience of stress is that your "high brain fuctions" for want of a better description don't work because too much processing power is taken up the the fight or flight response. It seems to me that it would be a mistake to jack in your two biggest resources - your home and your educaion - right now. It seems that the woman in your life is a big part of the problem. Maybe getting her out of your life will give you some ability to look at the other things. Renting out your home sounds good - the rent should cover the mortage and your asset will still be rising in value. On the education front, are you able to take some time out? Defer for a year? I think you are in a strong position but things are getting on top of you (like they get on top of everyone from time to time) but take time to consider your options before you jack everything in and run away. Good luck!