I am sad ...

[kes7]

... really, really sad.

Please cheer me up. Funny links? Jokes? Pics?

Please?

 

[Small White Car]

The Non-Adventures of Wonderella?

Just keep clicking 'previous' and you should cheer up pretty soon.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

How about the Southern version of The Sound Of Music? (courtesy of Jeff Foxworthy)

Doe, a deer I shot last month
Ray, a guy that pumps my gas
Me and him got in a fight
Fa is where I kicked his ass

 

[thestrangequark]

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHg6QjhvsCM[/yt]

 

[kes7]

How about the Southern version of The Sound Of Music? (courtesy of Jeff Foxworthy)

Doe, a deer I shot last month
Ray, a guy that pumps my gas
Me and him got in a fight
Fa is where I kicked his ass

I live in the South and it's "huntin' season." This made me smile. Thanks.

The Non-Adventures of Wonderella?

Just keep clicking 'previous' and you should cheer up pretty soon.

The first one is pretty good, off to read more.

 

[Small White Car]

The first one is pretty good, off to read more.

My all-time favorite one.

 

[kes7]

^That actually got a giggle out of me. Keep it up, guys. You can't fix it, but you can sure as hell make me forget it for a little while.

 

[Small White Car]

You have to watch this one twice.

The second viewing will be enjoyable in a totally different way than the first.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kptpoc1mQV8

 

[kes7]

You have to watch this one twice.

The second viewing will be enjoyable in a totally different way than the first.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kptpoc1mQV8

That was totally amusing, but I'm not sure how watching it twice adds to it. Maybe you can explain?

(And by the way, as a local, please confirm for me that driving from central VA to Dulles and back after two glasses of wine and a big cry is a very bad idea.)

 

[Small White Car]

That was totally amusing, but I'm not sure how watching it twice adds to it. Maybe you can explain?

Once you learn the rules you can watch that first part (where he didn't know what was happening) and they totally follow the rules the entire time. In fact, you can see that they weren't mad he slapped the grandpa, they were mad that he slapped the grandpa at the wrong time.

(And by the way, as a local, please confirm for me that driving from central VA to Dulles and back after two glasses of wine and a big cry is a very bad idea.)

Well, yeah, but mostly because there's no reason to be in Dulles. What would be the point of that? I can think of far better places to dream about going.

(I mean, unless you're going here. That might be awesome after 2 glasses of wine. Not that I condone driving after drinking. Probably best to stay home. But still...)

 

[kes7]

^Now THAT sounds like fun, especially after wine. But all I need to do in Dulles is drop off my loaner car and pick up my own car. They're open 'til midnight, so I have fifteen minutes to decide and get on the road .... oh, who am I kidding? I'm going to keep their shiny new car until Friday just because I can. Eff that.

But laser tag ... dude. That's fun.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

There's a bartender, named Dick, who has a lot of regular customers at his bar. One of these customers is a doctor who always comes in and orders an almond daiquiri, about the same time every day.

So one day Dick finds out that he has run out of almonds. He doesn't have time to get more but he doesn't want to disappoint a loyal customer. So he looks around and picks up a hickory nut, figures he might as well try, and makes a drink out of that.

At the usual time, the doctor shows up. He takes one pull from the resulting drink, then says this:

"Is that an almond daiquiri, Dick?"

To which the barman replies,

"No, it's a hickory daiquiri, Doc."

 

[kes7]

^ *giggles*

I had to read that twice to get it, but I got it. Hehe.

Keep 'em coming. It's been a looooong day.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

On a cruise ship, there's a magician who has a regular act every night. All the passengers and crew love to see him - including the captain, who always brings his parrot on his shoulder when he comes to see the show. Unfortunately, the parrot speaks English and understands the show and always gives everything away ("He's putting it up his sleeve!" "It's in his hat!" "He's got it under the table!"), and so the magician and the bird just hate each other's guts to the bitter end.

So one day the magician can't take it anymore and pulls out a shotgun and shoots at the bird. He misses, but the bullet hits a gasoline tank and blows the cruise ship into a billion pieces. The only survivors are the magician and the bird, out in the ocean floating on two pieces of wood.

The bird turns to the magician and says:

"Okay, I give up, where's the damn ship?"

 

[Saga]

i'm drunk. i suppose i could try and e-mail you some beer.

 

[kes7]

i'm drunk. i suppose i could try and e-mail you some beer.

Me too, but not drunk enough. I was going to half-seriously suggest I come and get it, but holy crap, you're SEVEN HOURS AWAY. How are you even in VA?

 

[Jetfire]

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xg3vE8Ie_E[/yt]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xg3vE8Ie_E



I am drunk too.

 

[kes7]

^YOU ARE EVIL! But LMAO ... (And no, I didn't watch it. YUCK!)

 

[Saga]

i'm drunk. i suppose i could try and e-mail you some beer.

Me too, but not drunk enough. I was going to half-seriously suggest I come and get it, but holy crap, you're SEVEN HOURS AWAY. How are you even in VA?

lol i'm not happy about it either. and i always seem to be seven or hours away from anything interesting.

 

[Jetfire]

I am in VA too! Central VA.