Suffice it to say, I don't think Picard would enjoy being famous.
Interviewer: good evening ladies, gentlemen, other genders and species. Tonight in 'the Federation's Finest' we have two very special guests, the famed captain of the Enterprise, captain Picard and one of his trusty aides, Lt. Commander Data! Show them your appreciation!
<applause>
Interviewer: So, Jean-Luc, I can call you Jean-Luc, right?
"Jean-Luc" Well, erm, I'm not quite comf...
Interviewer: So, Jean-Luc, what's it like to be the captain of the Federation flagship, and commanding the Starfleet very best and brightest and taking all decisions independently in many cases? Don't you feel like a God out there when you decide whether a primitive race lives or dies, or when to lobby a few photon torpedoes against a Klingon or Romulan warbird?
Capt. Picard: Well, first of all you have to understand there are moral principles and guidelines we have sworn to keep, the ideals of the Fede...
Interviewer: Yes, yes, that's all very interesting and all, but how does it feel to be assimilated or kill your own people at Wolf 359?
Capt. Picard: That's something I'd rather not discuss as it brings up all kinds of unpleasant memories and emotions.
Interviewer: Come on Jean Luc! You know what it feels like, and we want to know! Don't hold back!
Capt. Picard: I'd really rather not ...
Interviewer: Do you gradually start to hear the voice of the collective? Do you feel control of your body slowly slipping away or is the takeover instantly? Do you feel any pain when it happens? Is it still possible to resist at first? Do you still have feelings of remorse regarding those 11,000 people you murdered? Can you sleep at night knowing what you did? What's it like firing weapons against ships you know your friends are on?
<Captain Picard looks very uncomfortable>
Data: Captain, if I may? Remote readings of his stress hormone levels and after his capture suggested that he was under extreme duress during the entire experience, and medical evaluations showed he needed a extensive recovery and significant psychological trauma, even when he tried to act as if nothing happened and
<capt. Picard hissing> Shut up, Data!
Data. Yes, sir.
Interviewer <sensing the awkward moment>: we'll be right back after a few words from our obviously non-commercial sponsor, we're not in the Ferengi Alliance after all, but in the Federation! ha! ha!
<after the break>
Interviewer: Well, Jean-Luc, see that door? Behind that door is our first mystery guest! Someone you know. I'll give you a few hints and let's see if you can guess who it is! OK?
capt. Picard: Erm ...
Interviewer: Your first clue: you know her very intimately! Ha! ha!
capt. Picard: I wouldn't know anyone that fits that description. I have no room for a wife or partner.
<Whispering urgently to Data> Are we absolutely certain Beverly went to that Eroticon V conference and that she cannot be here? Probability analysis, mr. Data!
Interviewer: Time's up! Your second clue, Jean-Luc! Try to keep up! The ship's gossip channels have it she seduced you with a piano in a Jeffries' tube!
<Picard blushes when he realises his affair wasn't as private as he thought it was>
Interviewer: I see you guessed it, Jean-Luc! Open the door!
Interviewer: good evening ladies, gentlemen, other genders and species. Tonight in 'the Federation's Finest' we have two very special guests, the famed captain of the Enterprise, captain Picard and one of his trusty aides, Lt. Commander Data! Show them your appreciation!
<applause>
Interviewer: So, Jean-Luc, I can call you Jean-Luc, right?
"Jean-Luc" Well, erm, I'm not quite comf...
Interviewer: So, Jean-Luc, what's it like to be the captain of the Federation flagship, and commanding the Starfleet very best and brightest and taking all decisions independently in many cases? Don't you feel like a God out there when you decide whether a primitive race lives or dies, or when to lobby a few photon torpedoes against a Klingon or Romulan warbird?
Capt. Picard: Well, first of all you have to understand there are moral principles and guidelines we have sworn to keep, the ideals of the Fede...
Interviewer: Yes, yes, that's all very interesting and all, but how does it feel to be assimilated or kill your own people at Wolf 359?
Capt. Picard: That's something I'd rather not discuss as it brings up all kinds of unpleasant memories and emotions.
Interviewer: Come on Jean Luc! You know what it feels like, and we want to know! Don't hold back!
Capt. Picard: I'd really rather not ...
Interviewer: Do you gradually start to hear the voice of the collective? Do you feel control of your body slowly slipping away or is the takeover instantly? Do you feel any pain when it happens? Is it still possible to resist at first? Do you still have feelings of remorse regarding those 11,000 people you murdered? Can you sleep at night knowing what you did? What's it like firing weapons against ships you know your friends are on?
<Captain Picard looks very uncomfortable>
Data: Captain, if I may? Remote readings of his stress hormone levels and after his capture suggested that he was under extreme duress during the entire experience, and medical evaluations showed he needed a extensive recovery and significant psychological trauma, even when he tried to act as if nothing happened and
<capt. Picard hissing> Shut up, Data!
Data. Yes, sir.
Interviewer <sensing the awkward moment>: we'll be right back after a few words from our obviously non-commercial sponsor, we're not in the Ferengi Alliance after all, but in the Federation! ha! ha!
<after the break>
Interviewer: Well, Jean-Luc, see that door? Behind that door is our first mystery guest! Someone you know. I'll give you a few hints and let's see if you can guess who it is! OK?
capt. Picard: Erm ...
Interviewer: Your first clue: you know her very intimately! Ha! ha!
capt. Picard: I wouldn't know anyone that fits that description. I have no room for a wife or partner.
<Whispering urgently to Data> Are we absolutely certain Beverly went to that Eroticon V conference and that she cannot be here? Probability analysis, mr. Data!
Interviewer: Time's up! Your second clue, Jean-Luc! Try to keep up! The ship's gossip channels have it she seduced you with a piano in a Jeffries' tube!
<Picard blushes when he realises his affair wasn't as private as he thought it was>
Interviewer: I see you guessed it, Jean-Luc! Open the door!