How do you deal with Depression?

[Trekker4747]

(Sorry, Treker... I couldn't resist.)

Well, even then, it was an informed decision on what doctors told me.

 

[nightwind1]

I strongly think that for every depression there is a reason. Or multiple. Doesn't matter really. If you find it and deal with it, it's over. Medication is only treating the symptoms, but not the cause.

And just what university did you get your medical degree from?

 

[Alpha Romeo]

I appreciate the advice. I could give a lot of details perhaps I will in time. I thought I had overcome most of this in recent years. Than last fall a lost of serious shit happened.

In October of 2011 I was in a bicycle accident. I suffered massive head trauma. I am an atheist and I still am. Most people would say my recovery was miraculous. Other than no strong memory of the accident or the week after I had total recall of everything. I did not need to relearn to walk or talk. But my boneflap was removed because of swelling and was replaced last December,

I had never been in a hospital since my birth. But for someone who always had anxiety issues it was overwhelming to deal with this. Just simply having to be told when I could eat or go to the bathroom.

I am still not sure what really happened. Two days before this my only serious girlfriend broke up with me. On top of that a month before I had to move back with my parents to save money. That bothered me more than anything. Her timing, she knew hard it was for me to date at all. But to break up when I was living at home.

Was it suicide? I don't think so. But I was being reckless in how I was riding. Maybe on some subconscious level it was. I was conscious when I was found on the road and in the hospital. I was told I was swearing at everyone and trying to pull out all my needles. I don't remember.

My earliest memory after was a dream in which I was locked in a restaurant at night and was not allowed out.

When my short term memory returned, a week later, my big concern was who was going to pay for the bills. Not my condition! The state of Wisconsin payed for it until April and than when I was well cut me off. So no follow up.

More than anything all this revealed to me real weakness I always had. I had trouble with some of the therapy not because of the accident, but because of problems I always had. I have wanted to return to school but howI can pay for it or will I be able to deal with the stress.

The day I was hurt,before my ride my sister and I talked on the phone about me moving to Las Vegas by her. I can't stand my parents. I lived with them way too long. A lot of my issues stem for that. Having to deal with them after the accident all the time was the worst. I had to pretend I love them so I could get out. Or at least I felt that way.

Anyways I was VERY motivated to get out of the hospital as soon as possible and to return to work. Probably sooner than I should have. Than to save money to move by my sister. Well I did that in July.

Now its like, what do I do now? I have no friends here. I never really had friends at all. I got an ok starting job. But not enough to be able to have a place of my own or a social life.

I been trying to put the past behind me for years. Ok I did that. Now what? I have no idea. Thats fucking scary. Most people have something they want. I just try to get by.

The physical pain is very close to gone now. I was told it would take about a year.

Did you file a lawsuit as a result of the accident? If it wasn't your fault you may be able to be compensated and have your medical bills covered.

 

[Dick Whitman]

There is no one to file a suit against. It was stupidity on my part.

After the accident I had no memory of what happened. I was found laying on the side of the road by someone driving by. I am not sure how long it was before I was found. But my parents were told if it had been a 30 minutes later I would have died.

Most of the memory has returned slowly since than. A few times a week I would go for a 45 to 60 minute ride before work. I work at night, so it was about 3 in the afternoon when I was found. I was less than a mile from my parents house. So I was almost home when it happened.

Part of the trouble of remembering at first, beyond the head trauma, was I took this route a lot. SO was I remembering that day or the day before. Its like remembering a day of work from a week or two ago. They are very similar.

I know that the bike gears were spinning without my control before that day. I rember thinking of taking it into to be fixed. But this was October in Wisconsin. It was not that bad and I knew it would be put in storage for the winter soon.

Others speculated that maybe I was trying to avoid a car. But other than a minor scratch on the paint it was the same as before the accident.

Now what I remember clearly is I was riding down a road that went down hill. But I was not found at the point when it started to level off. No, it was a couple of cars length further away from that.

I tried to coast down the road. I thought if I but on my brakes to hard I would flip over. What happened was I was going so fast it was hard for me to control my bike. So while I was able to coast it for a while it never slowed down completely and I started weaving. I did went off the road and smacked my head on a metal guard rail for a small creek.

I am not sure if I am doing a good job explaining all this. Looking back I think most of this memory was there but I did not want to remember. My last memory was being angry at myself for doing something stupid again!!!!!

The one part I am not sure of is I have a memory of hearing a song on my Ipod that made me think of the girl who broke up with me 2 days earlier. I got very upset. I was riding down that same hill when it happened. Now was it that day or the day before. I am not sure.

A lot was happening in my life at that time. I had to move back in with parents to save money. I almost moved in with that girl. But when my car died a few months before, the costs of a new one but me in a bad situation. I was hoping she would let me help her around her house with cleaning and stuff for a few months so I did not have to pay rent. So I could pay pay off some debits. But her x husband was a leach who made her support him. She thought I was going to do the same thing. But I am nothing like that. I am a janitor, I would have been more than happy to clean her house everyday.

SO as a favor to her, I moved back with my parents who I can't stand. Than the less we saw each other things feel apart.

She was supportive after the accident. She visited me in the hospital. We would hang out and I thought things might go back to normal. She gave me a lot of signs of that. We fooled around a lot. Though she said she was not sure. I still had a part of my skull waiting to be returned at this point.

SHe started seeing another guy, who she would tell me she was concerned he was not as good as me. ALso she has daughter, saying the daughters liked me more. All this time I would be flirty with her. She would say we were just friends but clearly liked the attention.

ANyways I could go on and on with this. We stayed "friends" until I moved in July. But it became the classic situation, can a man and women really be friends after they had sex together? NO. Not for me.

She has a history of having bad judgement in guys she is involved with. I slowly learned some of this and tired to ignore it. SHe was engaged in her early 20s to a guy she did not know for long. After they split, years later she learned he killed his next fiance after her. Her x husband, they were together 11 years, and have 2 daughters which I really like. The two of them had nothing in common! Its just bizarre.

The guy she started seeing after me, she moved in with right after I moved. THe same guy she thought did not give her enough attention. She can not be alone. Regardless of who it is.

Which raises questions for me. Was she with me at all because she has such low standards. What does that say about me?????

 

[thestrangequark]

^Donald, did you know that depression is extremely common after traumatic brain injury? The injury itself could be the cause of your depression, even so long after the trauma, or could be contributing to it along with other factors (like coping with such trauma) -- have your doctors ruled this out? Have you done any research into recovery after traumatic

From what you've posted here it sounds like you've made huge strides considering what you went through. There are a lot of support networks for people recovering from traumatic brain injuries, perhaps you could find some helpful information there.

 

[Dick Whitman]

I do know depression is common after an event like this. But I always had certain level of depression and other issues.

If I had made better choices none of this would have happened. I should have never have dated that girl. I had money issues because I had to make changes at work due to anxiety problems. I was saddled with a supervisor position I did not ask and did not do well. So I asked to transferred to a lower paying job.

You are right though. That i made it this far is amazing. Its made me question whether my problems were what I thought. Maybe i just have too high standards for myself. Also I don't have much tolerate for other peoples BS. Unfortunately the world is full of morons and assholes.

 

[Dick Whitman]

Hard to tell I have a large scar on my head. Or my bone flap(part of my skull) was returned as recently as December 19th 2011. I think have more hair than any of my brother, even the younger one. Maybe I am looking for deserved attention. Any females who want a free place to stay in Las Vegas?

 

[Davros]

This is how I've been dealing with depression.

 

[Kelthaz]

Pets are a fantastic way to deal with depression. Obviously they won't fix the underlying issues, but they work wonders to elevate your mood.

 

[TrekNut87]

This is how I've been dealing with depression.

What a cutie! Looks exactly like my cat, only a few shades lighter.

 

[Amaris]

That's the kind of face that demands snuggles!

 

[Dick Whitman]

So my thread has devolved into Cat pictures huh?

I am just teasing. My Dog is a Yellow Lab is back in Wisconsin with my parents. I miss him. I guess he is just as much theirs. I named him though, his name is Luke. Any guess who he was named for?

I am living with my sister and she has a Doberman. That was an ex's idea. He wanted a macho symbol. Very sweet dog.

My sister has suggested getting a job at secondary job at a animal hospital .

 

[Amaris]

So my thread has devolved into Cat pictures huh?

I am just teasing. My Dog is a Yellow Lab is back in Wisconsin with my parents. I miss him. I guess he is just as much theirs. I named him though, his name is Luke. Any guess who he was named for?

I am living with my sister and she has a Doberman. That was an ex's idea. He wanted a macho symbol. Very sweet dog.

My sister has suggested getting a job at secondary job at a animal hospital .

It's true, though, how much a companion animal can improve our lives. When my Dallie was alive, she was my closest friend, and she made a bad day much better just for being there. I miss her very much.

 

[thestrangequark]

I do know depression is common after an event like this. But I always had certain level of depression and other issues.

It still might be worthwhile to seek support with a group that understand the specific struggles of overcoming an injury like yours. There are many out there, online and IRL -- something to think about!

If I had made better choices none of this would have happened. I should have never have dated that girl. I had money issues because I had to make changes at work due to anxiety problems. I was saddled with a supervisor position I did not ask and did not do well. So I asked to transferred to a lower paying job.

Sadly this is true for pretty much everyone, though. Apologies for dipping into trite cliche's, but "hindsight is 20/20," is pretty spot on. The only thing one can really do is to learn from one's mistakes. You fucked-up, make sure you are wiser for it.

You are right though. That i made it this far is amazing. Its made me question whether my problems were what I thought. Maybe i just have too high standards for myself. Also I don't have much tolerate for other peoples BS. Unfortunately the world is full of morons and assholes.

It really is amazing.

I think that having overly high standards for oneself is fairly common. For many people, the hardest thing to do is to learn how to treat yourself with kindness. I am the same way, I can be despicably cruel to myself. I spent much of my life treating myself in ways I would never treat another. I'm still trying to stop, by reminding myself that I would never be as strict or punishing to someone else as I am with myself, that I'd never call someone else the kinds of names or say, or even think the kinds of things I say and think about myself.

These things you are going through are things that many other people can understand, and can help you with. As long as you're open and willing to try.

 

[propita]

That's the kind of face that demands snuggles!

It's so zazzle-y!

 

[Winterwind]

Pets are a fantastic way to deal with depression. Obviously they won't fix the underlying issues, but they work wonders to elevate your mood.

They do indeed. Unfortunately for me separation from my pet is part of my current depression. My girlfriend and I separated last month (her idea, not mine) and I had to move out. Rented a room (all I can presently afford) and so I'm without my partner of seven years and our puppy, my best friend since he was born three years ago.

I don't know if this separation is temporary or permanent (I hope for the former and fear the latter). I just know how much I miss both of them. And I know my little boy misses me too. She dropped off some mail for me last week, bringing the little guy along and when she rolled down the car window he leapt out the window and just clung to me for the entire time we talked.

 

[Kestra]

Pets are a fantastic way to deal with depression. Obviously they won't fix the underlying issues, but they work wonders to elevate your mood.

They do indeed. Unfortunately for me separation from my pet is part of my current depression. My girlfriend and I separated last month (her idea, not mine) and I had to move out. Rented a room (all I can presently afford) and so I'm without my partner of seven years and our puppy, my best friend since he was born three years ago.

I don't know if this separation is temporary or permanent (I hope for the former and fear the latter). I just know how much I miss both of them. And I know my little boy misses me too. She dropped off some mail for me last week, bringing the little guy along and when she rolled down the car window he leapt out the window and just clung to me for the entire time we talked.

I don't know the specifics, but it's too bad she couldn't have moved out and you couldn't keep the dog with you. My husband is going to have to pry our cat out of my cold, dead hands. There is no way I am going anywhere without him. Ever.

 

[Gotham Central]

I'm curious what one should do about depression when the depression itself is more situational than biochemical. I've seen therapists and taken medication, but the reality is that since the underlying situation never changes the depression never really goes away. There comes a point when it all seems pointless.

 

[Winterwind]

Pets are a fantastic way to deal with depression. Obviously they won't fix the underlying issues, but they work wonders to elevate your mood.

They do indeed. Unfortunately for me separation from my pet is part of my current depression. My girlfriend and I separated last month (her idea, not mine) and I had to move out. Rented a room (all I can presently afford) and so I'm without my partner of seven years and our puppy, my best friend since he was born three years ago.

I don't know if this separation is temporary or permanent (I hope for the former and fear the latter). I just know how much I miss both of them. And I know my little boy misses me too. She dropped off some mail for me last week, bringing the little guy along and when she rolled down the car window he leapt out the window and just clung to me for the entire time we talked.

I don't know the specifics, but it's too bad she couldn't have moved out and you couldn't keep the dog with you. My husband is going to have to pry our cat out of my cold, dead hands. There is no way I am going anywhere without him. Ever.

The house is hers. She was the primary income in the relationship. It was supposed to be equal but I lost my job just before we/she bought the house. And as much as I miss my little man, she's in a much better position to take of him financially.

I'm curious what one should do about depression when the depression itself is more situational than biochemical. I've seen therapists and taken medication, but the reality is that since the underlying situation never changes the depression never really goes away. There comes a point when it all seems pointless.

Do the best you can. Find distractions. Work on things in stages.

At least that's what I'm trying. My depression is strictly situational. It's not easy. I'm desperately looking for work. Missing my partner of the last seven years and our puppy. No family to turn to. A few friends but none that can help in any way other than talking here and there.

There's not much more a person can say without knowing the situation. And even then words only go so far.

I've been seeing a therapist. Started out because after I lost my job when we were buying the house, I lost all confidence in myself. The bitter irony for me is just as I was starting to get it back she asked me to leave.

 

[Dick Whitman]

THe reason I started this thread, I mean what motivated me that day was my job had reduced my work hours. RIght after somebody sided swiped me. I was lucky, it just cracked my headlight.

But I just did not know now to deal with it. I got all nervous that day. It was the guys fault all he got was some scratches. So I drove off. I am living in a new state, I got out of state plates. If the cops got involved it would have increased my parents car insurance which I am on.

Little things. But things I have to worry about. It is situational. I worry about things I am not sure what I am supposed to do about.

On top of that. Ok I have 6 years of janitorial work. So when I moved it was easy to find something like that. Low pay, part time. A start.

Than the store I worked at needed a security guard too. So I was great more hours, work experience. But I probably not someone who should have taken it.

Generally it easy, at worst boring. Just a greater at the front of the store. Last night a guy gave every sign he was a shop lifter. Just asking for a receipt got him really mad. I radioed for my supervisor and held his arm to stop him. The guy hit me in the jaw and than went back to look for it. Than he hit some young kid, 16 years old, even though he had pay for it. Than all these other employees get in a fight with this guy.

The guy drove off before the police showed up. We had his plate number. The cops said they could not do anything. I should not have tired to stop him even though he was acting like a shoplifter. So it cancelled out that he hit a minor for no reason!

I don't think I am trouble. But it makes me wonder if this job is worth. Before this the owner of the store had cut my hours. The manager said the owner no longer wanted me to do security. He would not tell me why but I think I know.

After the election out of no where this older owner made a snide comment about how he knows I voted for Obama, thats why I have this job. Meaning a small job like a cleaner. I never talk politics at work. So he knows because of my bumper stickers.

So I have no idea what will happen now. How the owner will react now. I would be happy to just do the just I was hired for cleaning. In a perfect world I will get a call for one of the better jobs I have applied for sense I moved at the end of July.

But I need money.... I am living with my sister. Even given that her brother almost died a year ago. She seems more concerned about getting monthly rent than the stress this is giving me. So I supposed to just silently suffer though this.

In the long run this will blow over. But also over time stuff like this builds up under the surface. Creating a distrust and resentment to people.

It hard for me to enjoy stuff when my whole life is controlled by stuff I have no control of.